Mentors are overrated

DO you need a mentor to succeed in business? Some thought leaders have made it look like once you do not have a mentor, you cannot succeed in business. This is not true. Many people have driven in an unknown city without a map yet they did not miss their way. Mentorship is great but not having a mentor does not mean that you cannot build a great business. If you don’t accept this truth, you may spend the prime of your life begging for mentorship. Getting the commitment of a superstar to invest his time in you maybe very difficult. No matter how persistent you are, they may never give you attention.Some may ignore your chats and calls. Some may promise you but may never fulfill it. You may hate them for all I care. Tag them proud if you like. Get angry for not being ‘seen’ despite your effort. Your feelings are valid. I have been there too. The dream mentor you need in your life for growth is very busy. Nobody has all the time in the world to start spoon-feeding a ‘stranger’ the ABC of business from the scratch.

Stop getting vexed that you tried to reach out and they did not even reply to your emails. Whenever you find yourself complaining about a lack of attention from a busy person, the solution is to get busy with your craft. Stop begging for mentorship. Nobody owes you attention and mentorship is not an entitlement. Do your homework. If you follow and apply the principles for business success, you can start, grow and scale your business without a mentor. Not every successful entrepreneur has a mentor. Your life is still complete without a mentor. There is no single person out there who can help you navigate every single challenge in your business or who has all the answers to every question regarding your business.  If you have put all your effort to get a mentor but no one seems to be willing, it is time to face your solo reality and stop feeling like you are missing out on something. If you are tired of begging for mentorship, it’s time to spur yourself. After all, entrepreneurship is a lonely journey. If you want to figure it out yourself, try mentorship by readership Submitting to a person’s mentorship does not mean that you have to meet with the person physically. Waiting to learn from your proposed mentor face-to-face is a sign of laziness and ignorance.

Invest the time you waste in chasing a mentor in improving yourself. Read his books. Mentorship by readership is the cheapest form of learning.  All the answers to the questions you are waiting to ask them one-on-one may have already been answered. Almost every piece of information you need has already been made available in his books. Sit down and consume all these materials. Everything can be researched. With Google and YouTube, it is impossible to be utterly clueless. If you are too impatient to learn on your own and take responsibility for your personal growth, get ready to keep shooting shots over the bar. Second, combine learning activities. The beauty of not having a mentor is that you can guiltlessly wrangle opinions from various sources. If there are smart entrepreneurs and business leaders in your field that you admire,follow them on social media.  Read their tweets. Sign up for their newsletters. Watch their videos. Listen to their podcasts. Attend events where they are speaking.

The woman who has had the greatest impact in my life as a business consultant has never authored a book. She writes daily on Facebook.  Sometimes, I stay up all night reading all her posts on Facebook for the previous three years and learning from her wealth of knowledge. I have only seen her physically once at an event.  I have never spoken to her before. She does not even know that I exist nor am I bothered. In fact, I am one of her introverted followers who will neither like nor comment on her posts.  If your dream mentor offers a paid mentorship program, good for you. Pay to enroll. Payment may grant you access. Your mentor may not necessarily need your money. The price tag may be bait to attract only serious folks.

Three, get a coach to train you. A coach is not a mentor. A mentor uses experience to hold your hands. A coach uses tools and processes to guide you. You may not always need a mentor, but you will always need a coach. Four, pay a consultant Most times, the problems of a business cannot be identified by you or even those in the business. This is where a consultant comes in. A Business Consultant finds the missing link and gives you workable strategies to solve every puzzle in your business. Five, maximize peer guidance. As an entrepreneur, you should understand that there is a thin line between taking independent decisions and shutting out every valuable relationship. Genuine feedback from your peers can be your guide.  This is why being part of a community of entrepreneurs is important. The conversations can open you up to better ideas and solutions. Don’t just keep friends that are only good for gossip, parties, and beer parlours. Keep friends that can act as accountability partners. Six, build strategic networks. One of the mistakes many entrepreneurs make is that they want to build a large circle of networks. If possible, they want to have all the contacts of every participant and speaker in every event.

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Casting a large net among people can be stressful. Nurturing networks can be time-demanding. Rather than over-networking and wasting your time on superficial contacts, be strategic.Choose quality over quantity. Seven, try speed mentorship. Speed mentorship is a strategic means of networking. It is a short-term engagement for a specific task or opportunity for a short time. It allows you to concentrate on the learning rather than the relationship. Eight, trust your instincts. Too many people want a ‘mentor’ who will put his stamp of approval on every decision they want to make. No! Sometimes, your mentor may innocently discourage you from attempting some things or may pigeonhole you to adhere to a manual. But in reality, there is no master rulebook to succeed in business. People who think a mentor is a must-have may never have confidence in their ability to take initiative.

In the journey of entrepreneurship, with or without a mentor, you have to know when to use your intuition. Moreover, there is a limit to what you can learn from your mentor. Your mentor is not omniscient. You have to carve your own path. Nine, attract with results. When it comes to ‘shooting shots,’there is a reason my friends nickname me a ‘serial killer.’ I have met with some of the notable guys in the business world.  Think of some of the most successful entrepreneurs in Africa – I have sent them emails. I have their business cards. I have their phone numbers. I have pitched to them in their private DMs on social media. Having their contacts does not guarantee access to them. While you are making an innocent effort to build a relationship with them, they may be seeing your efforts as a disturbance.  It is good to take selfies with them and send them happy new month messages from time to time, but deep down in your heart, you know that all thosefamzing and paparazzi are because you need sponsorship, not mentorship per se.

Most times, what many people are looking for is a sponsor, not a mentor. A sponsor is someone interested in promoting you and your work. He is ever eager to recommend, advocate and announce to others how excellent you are. A sponsor is someone willing to invest his integrity in you and vouch for you to deliver anytime any day, and anywhere. A sponsor is that proverbial ‘destiny helper’ you need to blow. He can open doors for you quickly and put the spotlight on you. He has the connection. He has the resources. He has the platform and he is doing well on a larger scale than you are. Howbeit, you don’t get the attention of a sponsor by begging. Sponsors become interested in you when they know your mission and vision and believe that you can actualize them. To attract a sponsor,keep showing up. Keep growing your influence. One day, a sponsor may notice you and your request won’t come from a place of begging.Recognizing you when you are some steps ahead of others is easier and effortless than recognizing you at the crowded ground level.  If you are lucky enough to get the attention of a sponsor eventually, you should have some valuable results to prove that you are deserving of a relationship with them. Valuable people love valuable people. It is easier to attract the attention of a sponsor with your results than to chase them with ordinary word-of-mouth “can you be my mentor?” Your sponsor wants to meet you ready, not waiting. Your sponsor wants to meet you with results, not with pity.

• Ndimele is a personal finance coach, business consultant and author.