Great marriage is self made

Many people want to experience great marriage in life. However, they are not making the right efforts to make it happen, either ignorantly or deliberately. They keep blaming the devil for the happenings in their marriages. Or better still, they keep blaming others, except themselves. But, the truth of the matter is that a successful marriage is garbage in, garbage out.

That is, what you put in is what you get. Couples who fight most of the time, not seeing eyeballs to eyeballs, ought to sit down and ask themselves about what they are doing to hurt their marriages, and what they are not doing that is hurting their marriages. Every couple ought to accept the fact that they are the architect of their marriage.

If you want a great marriage, you must be ready to go all out for it. Otherwise, your wishes will be a mirage. After all, it is a popular saying that “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” Acts, and not wishes, are the horses to ride to arrive at a great marriage.

Acts of a great marriage

• Dream about it: Great marriage, like any other thing we want to achieve, must be dreamt about. That is, have a picture of it in your mind; focus on it and keep it before you continually. It is a driving force to see the realisation of your desire. Our ( my husband and I )dream about our marriage from the onset is that “ our lives together will be a song, a poem, a monument to love, and a memorial to the Holy Spirit, who brought us together. “ This has helped us to weather the storms together. With a vision like this, one is bound to take proactive steps to make the marriage great.
• Work for it in the following ways:
• Good communication: This is a strong determining factor in ensuring a great marriage. A general problem with many people is poor communication. We simply don’t know how to communicate effectively. So, it keeps creating problems for us in our relationships, especially marriage. A great marriage requires a great communication process. We must as of necessity work at ensuring effective communication in our marriages. It is our responsibility to ensure effective communication in our marriages, and if we fail in it, we already know its outcome.
• Good sex: A great marriage requires a great sex life. If the sex in marriage is not great, the marriage will never be great. It has been discovered that the undermining factor in marriage is sex. When a marriage is sex-starved, it will be a stress-filled one. So, couples must ensure that marriage is not sex-starved. My book on Enjoying great sex life, provides adequate information for great sex marriage.
• Planned financial resources: Money is a serious issue in life.. The more money you have, the better life becomes for you. Without money in moderate supply in meeting basic needs of life in the marriage, stress is imminent. Couples, especially husbands, must plan their finances in such a way that the basic needs are provided for. A man who is consistently failing in his financial obligation in the marriage, will, with time, lose respect with the wife, and by extension, the children. So, adequate attention must be given to ensuring a sound financial base for the marriage. A wife who is in a situation of being ahead of her husband in finances, must apply wisdom to avoid pride in dealing with the husband.
• Romantic moments: In this part of the world, romance is not a priority to married couples, in general. That is why individual married persons, who love adventure, engage in extramarital affairs. You need to see how extra marital affairs couples behave, and you will appreciate the place of romance in marriage. Couples need to get romantic in their marriages: hold hands, call each other pet names, go for outings to cinemas, recreation centres, weekend get away with each other, and the like. Such acts create fun in the marriage for couples, and such can be an effective antidote to infidelity in marriage. Once what is being sought for outside is made available in the marriage, the urge to go out is reduced to the barest, if not totally eliminated. Let us work towards ensuring a fun filled marriage to ensure a great marriage.
• Respect and love: We have stated over and over on this platform that the greatest needs of husbands and wives respectively are respect and love. If a wife wants to enjoy her husband, respect for him is not optional. Likewise, any husband who wishes to get the best of his wife must shower her with love. This area of needs of husbands and wives is the cause of marital conflicts. It is not unusual to hear the husbands complain of disrespectful acts of their wives, while wives also hammer on the unloving acts of their husbands. Couples must be intentional in meeting these marital needs.
• Patience and long-suffering: Couples need a lot of patience in order to make the marriage great. With different growing up backgrounds, couples need a lot of time to adapt to themselves.
• Faithfulness to marital vow: Faithfulness to marital vow is a great key to a great marriage. Many couples don’t know the importance of the vow they made when they got married. So, they don’t take care in keeping to it. Couples must commit themselves to being faithful to the marital vow. It keeps them focused on the success of the marriage.

All these are basic necessary keys to enjoying great marriage. If we focus on achieving them in the best way possible, we will experience a great marriage.

My book, enjoying great sex life, is still available as a great tool for a great marriage. Please call 08112658560 for details.

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