Sometimes, dating can take unexpected turns that could mar a friendship. As a woman, having feelings or dating your best friend’s former boyfriend can incite unhealthy reactions from her, especially when she does not approve of it. Today, we are asking ladies if they can date their friends’ exes. Below are some of the responses from the respondents:
Oreoluwa Adetula
I would start by asking myself: Would I be okay if my best friend starts dating my ex? I would not. So, I would not date the ex of my best friend. When I kiss him, what would be going through my head is my best friend kissed these lips too. This is too much to take. Most importantly, there was a reason he became an ex. If after dating him, she realised they were not a good fit, then the reason is something that needs to be seriously considered − unless she was at fault. If, for any reason, I fall in love with my best friend’s ex, I would not do it without her approval. I could say this confidently because I know the kind of friends I have.
Onyekwere Mercy
Well, no, especially when I know they dated for a long time. The reason is that I would not like to jeopardise the relationship I have with my best friend. Plus, it sounds like a betrayal to me − because I must have had eyes on him even while they were dating for me to date him. Feelings do not just erupt like that.
Deborah Ogundare
I do not see why it cannot happen. However, there may be a few things to consider. I would say yes if the reason for the breakup is just incompatibility, not something like abuse, cheating, or exploitation. On the other hand, your bestie has to have an open mind about it – else, she might see you as a betrayer.
Sewa Balogun
I cannot date my best friend’s ex because it is like dating my sister’s ex. It is an abomination. There is a Yoruba adage that says ‘Ti oju bakuro okan o le kuro’. No matter how much we love each other, whenever the ex and my friend see themselves, they would remember what they shared. This is especially if she does not have a stable relationship. It is better to date someone with a clean history to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Omolayo Abiodun
It is a no for me. Sometimes, when I am about to make a tricky decision, I ask myself how I would feel if the same was done to me. And the answer is simple: I would not feel comfortable with my friend dating my ex. Also, I believe loving someone is a choice. So, even if I am attracted to such a person, I would try to perish the thought as soon as I could.
Adeola Kolade
Yes, I can date/marry my best friend’s ex if the guy approaches me and I get to develop a mutual interest in him. After all, this is a world where what is bad for someone could be good for another person. But if he is still in a relationship with my friend, I would not date him, as that would amount to a betrayal of trust.
Hameedat Adekoya
While I understand there is no manual for friendship, I believe it is equally important to respect someone you call your friend. This is why I cannot date my friend’s ex. If there is any reason something like that would happen, I would have an honest conversation with her to know if she would be comfortable with the arrangement.
Zubair Fateemah
I cannot date my best friend’s ex, except I was not aware of their relationship. My friend would never feel good about it. And this may end our friendship. I would not sacrifice my friendship with my friend for such a trivial thing. I would also not take seriously a man who dated my best friend and asked me out.
Gbemisola Olaitan
It depends. However, I believe dating a best friend’s ex could be exhausting because it would involve complex emotions. I would consider the effects it would have on our relationship as friends.
Busari Sururoh
I cannot date my best friend’s ex. The reason is that my best friend might share a lot of qualities with me. Aside from not stooping low to date her ex, I also believe if they are not palatable, I and the guy would not be palatable too. Whatever hurts my best friend hurts me too.
Lynda Osieta
It is a yes and still a no for me. A no because it does not sound pleasing to the ears − it sounds like betrayal and no matter what transpired between them, there would still be this little flame of feelings anytime they think or see themselves. There would be a whole lot of occasions I would like to be seeing both my best friend and her boyfriend at the same time. So, dating that kind of person would be difficult. There would be a lack of trust from both ends because something has happened between them before. So, to avoid all these headaches, we should not even try it.
From another angle, which is the yes angle, I would be going spiritual. If God says he is the one, I am going for him, no matter the frogs he has chosen to kiss before seeing me. And, it is understandable. If you have an understanding best friend, she would approve of it. But, left for me, it is a no.
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