FUNMILAYO AREMU, in this report, investigates why couples with incompatible genotypes still go ahead to get married, the role of government and whether there is need for more awareness in the society.
The decision to spend the rest of one’s life with a partner is not to be taken lightly. After all, an adage says only fools rush in (where angels fear to tread). Just as it is frequently stated that emotions should not be the primary factor in selecting a life partner, many other factors must be considered. Genotype compatibility is one of these factors.
With the plethora of information available on genotype compatibility and its complications, it would be expected that people would refrain from making decisions that could affect their future and that of their unborn children. However, it has been discovered that many couples have chosen to throw caution to the wind and as well the future health of their children, going by a recent report of the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) that 150,000 babies are born with sickle cell annually in Nigeria.
One of those who threw caution to the wind and traded the good health and future of her children for love is 32-year-old Olufunto (not real name). Olufunto had been dating her fiancé for 11 years and was prepared to get married to him. That was until she discovered that her genotype and that of her prospective spouse did not match.
She was advised not to proceed with the wedding plans after consulting with her pastor and a marriage counsellor. Regardless, Olufunto determined that nothing, not even a mismatched genotype, would prevent her from marrying the love of her life, decided to forge ahead.
“I can’t even begin to imagine breaking off my wedding,” she narrated to Sunday Tribune, adding that she would rather go ahead with it than risk her happiness for an uncertain future.
The question is: why do some couples with genotypes that do not match go ahead to get married despite existing information to the contrary? To find out, Sunday Tribune spoke with some experts who shed light on the situation.
Possible reasons
The Chaplain and ICT Minister of Molete Baptist Church, Ibadan, Reverend Oladayo Oladosu, revealed that many couples make this decision because of love, money and material things and modern technology that can help curb the birth of a child with sickle cell.
He recounted an experience he had with an intending couple who tried to find their way around getting a genotype test during counselling.
“Whenever I counsel couples, I ask of their genotypes and afterwards give them a form to the medical centre to clarify all those things through test to know whether or not they are fit for the journey ahead of them. But this particular couple-to-be were shying away from that until two weeks to their wedding.
“I discovered that they were both AS and I advised them against it but they defended themselves saying there is a technology that can take care of things like that and they can even terminate the pregnancy if they find out that the foetus is SS.
“I told them that I would want to live a guilt-free life and would not want to be cursed by their children in future. (I told them) there are other people whose genotypes would be compatible with theirs that would bring them happiness and joy,” he narrated disclosing that the couple shunned all entreaties.
Reverend Father Raphael Ifejioku, who also shared his own experince, confirmed that many couples knowingly get married despite their genotype incompatibility because of love and using technology as an excuse.
“Many couples these days marry for various reasons,” he said. “The most profound reason is the fact that they claim to love each beyond whatever one can imagine. In addition, some feel that they have gone far in terms of their preparations for the marriage. Few think that they can have children that may likely have AS genotype. Others believe that with modern technology, they can easily determine the genotype of the child before birth,” he stated, saying he has had cases of couples like this. “In my eleventh year as a priest, I had one and, in this case, they just felt that their love for each other was enough to see them through.
“I counselled them on the implications. When I discovered that they were adamant and ready to go ahead with the marriage, I asked them to write a letter of undertaking stating that the church advised them on the implications but they insisted on carrying on with the marriage and to register it in court. Surprisingly, that was the last time I saw them,” he explained.
Speaking with Sunday Tribune, Earl Alright, President of Alright’s Passion Counsellor’s Network explained that some couples think they are destined for each other or they have courted for too long to break up the relationship. He also noted that some of them believe that they could be lucky and not give birth to a child with sickle cell.
Some of them, he explained further, stick with their partners out of fear of not finding another. His usual admonition for these groups of intending couples, according to him, is that they should visit a sickle cell clinic and discuss their experience with those suffering from sickle cell anaemia and to also talk with 10 different parents of children with sickle cell.
In her own contribution, the Co-Founder of Smile Sickle Cell Foundation, Oluchi Ndukwe, explained that women would prefer to go ahead with such a marriage in order to be accorded the respect that comes with being married in society.
“You know this is Nigeria, and there is this respect accorded to married women. A woman will rather go ahead with the marriage. I had a case from Enugu; I had to involve a doctor to speak with her not to go ahead with the marriage because her genotype was AS and her husband-to-be was also AS. I would have encouraged them to go ahead because now, medical science has advanced so much that if you have the financial capability, you can choose the genotype of your child using IVF. We can easily select genotypes with this process and possibly run other tests to eliminate any genetic diseases running in such a family.
“But that is for people who are really rich because it costs about N7 million to do that. I gave all these explanations to the woman and asked how financially buoyant she and her partner were to carry out this process. At some point she disconnected and stopped coming because we were not telling her what she wanted to hear. Due to what the country has now become, some people will rather dive into marriage and damn the consequences. But when the kids start coming, that is when they will know that it is financially and emotionally draining; it is traumatic for both parents and the child as well,” she explained.
Speaking further on the prevalence of sickle cell children in the society despite information and awareness, the Chief Imam of the University of Abuja, Professor TaofiqAzeez, told to Sunday Tribune that materialism and promiscuity are the fuel driving some couples into marriages nowadays and not reason and /or wise counsel. Professor Azeez claimed his conclusion was based on research.
“We researched this issue, 30-year research. We found out that most times, what these people call love and faith is materialism. Usually, the lady will stick to the man because of the material gains she will make from the marriage. The boy is rich and from a wealthy family and even if there are going to be complications, there will be money to spend.
“There is love, but sometimes, materialism is behind the insistence. There is love; there is faith, but materialism is also real. It is only in very few cases that the girl is the one from a rich family.
“At other times, it is promiscuity. They are into a relationship, got pregnant and to avoid the social shame and stigma, they go ahead with the marriage. Others are incidental, like ignorance. People don’t care. Sometimes they find out after marriage. These are the various reasons we found after over thirty years of investigating this matter,” he narrated.
Spiritual faith
Indeed, despite the numerous information on sickle cell and its avoidance, Sunday Tribune discovered that many people believe that their faith can help them scale the hurdle without complications. On whether spiritual faith can help in a situation like this, Professor Azeez believes that people should not dare God, saying since God has given us the knowledge we need to avoid situations like this.
He said: “We, as Muslims, believe that there is nothing God cannot do, but we also believe that what God has made plain to us as a warning and as part of knowledge, we should avoid daring Him. We keep telling our children and couples that want to engage in it, to avoid these genotype issues as they will likely have children with SS. God has given us the knowledge so we can avoid troubles.”
Pastor Oladosu also believes that God is not to be dared as He may choose to intervene or not.
“Why would you put the love of your Lord to test? What you don’t know and you suddenly discover, you can keep waiting and trusting for God’s intervention and God is God, He may choose to intercept the situation and intervene or choose not to intervene. We must not test God that He will change it. God can do it but what if He doesn’t?” he queried.
Reverend Father Ifejioku reiterated Pastor Oladosu and Professor Azeez’s views. According to him, “In line with the vision of the Church, to insist on conducting weddings amid known harm for the children is selfishness and not love. Our sublime faith is built on ‘Fides et ratio’ meaning; faith and reason. So, we do accept as Catholics that science is in aid of faith and vice versa. To do otherwise is contrary to the legislation of faith which must not put the Lord to the test.”
However, Mr Alright had a different take on the matter. Although he believes in miracles, in his opinion, people who believe that God will help them with the situation after their wedding, should seek His face and ask for a change of genotype before going into such marriages.
According to him, “I believe in miracles and the supernatural. However, for couples in this situation, I usually suggest that they get the miracle of a change of genotype first before getting married. I have seen cases of people who get married and don’t produce children with sickle cell and I have heard of couples who said they heard that God told them to marry each other and that they would not have a child with SS and they didn’t. But it is a gamble. If you believe in a change of genotype, receive the miracle first before marriage.”
Need for more advocacy
With all this being said, many would wonder if the information out there is not enough and if there is a need to create more awareness of the implications of going into such marriages.
Lawrence Olajide-Taiwo, a marriage counsellor, told Sunday Tribune that the media has to do more in creating awareness.
In his words, “We need to do more. The knowledge is there, especially among the elites. But the media, both social and traditional, need to do more in this area and if possible, we need to organise campaigns from one organisation to another, religious bodies and especially where youths are domicile because it has implications for the strength of the population in the future.”
In Mrs Ndukwe’s opinion, the sickle cell foundations that exist in Nigeria are trying all they could in the terms of creating awareness and advocacy against such marriages.
She said: “Although there are not too many sickle cell foundations in Nigeria, the few that exist are trying their best. The truth is that it is recently that people only started this genotype issue because of the little awareness we are creating.
“When we started talking about sickle cell advocacy, a lot of people didn’t want to listen. When you organise an outreach, they come because they probably want to get drugs or free anti-mosquito nets. We usually run free genotype tests, but people are not keen on that. But as time goes on, like the last one we organised on the 13 August, we saw a huge difference, everyone who came there was interested in knowing what their genotype is.
“I think the awareness is growing but lots of couples are still making that mistake because we get messages and calls. I have people whose children are under the age of five and these children are carriers, which means we are not doing enough as we should. It is not as if we don’t want to, but because there are several people we can reach out to due to the number of sickle cell foundations available and then there is the issue of funding. Because going around Nigeria is not an easy task. We do the bit we can,” she clarified.
In need of government’s Intervention
Government has shown interest in curbing the prevalence of sickle cell anaemia over time. In 2019, the Anambra State House of Assembly barred marriages involving people living with sickle cell anaemia or incompatible genotypes. It provided that parents and guardians are not allowed to give their children in marriage without verifying that they (the intending couple) are free from sickle cell anaemia. It also banned religious bodies and registries from joining couples without a certificate of verification by qualified sickle cell experts.
The law also states that those who disregard this law risk a three-year jail term or a fine of N200,000 and are liable on conviction.
On this basis, Pastor Oladosu supports the idea that the government takes legal action against those who intentionally go into such marriages.
“I would say if the government picks up legal action concerning whosoever knows the truth and does not do it, I think people will desist from it. Let there be a sanction for it; why do people want to keep depleting our GDP? Why do you want to keep bringing tears to our community because we live a communal lifestyle as Africans? If one child dies, it concerns the whole neighbourhood,” he queried.
Mr Olajide-Taiwo enunciated that legislating on this kind of issue is very difficult as it will be difficult to control and enforce.
According to him: “Legislation is a very big thing and even if you legislate in that kind of situation, how are you going to control it? When you legislate, there is still a need for enforcement and when two people love each other, how will you control the time they should be with each other and the time they should have a sexual relationship that will lead to childbearing?
“Legislation can be something that will be considered in a very distant future. What is most important now is advocacy and education. This should be included in the curriculum of our schools. Let them know from the secondary school level. It should also be included in and out of school, in formal and informal settings. Education is key, I think it is going to work better than legislation.
He added further that the government should provide an enabling environment for people to have easy access to this information. He stressed that the incoming generation needs this kind of education and the government at all levels has a role to play in it.
While Reverend Father Ifejioku advised that the government creates awareness by emphasising the implications of going into such marriages, Mrs Ndukwe recommends that the government makes the genotype test compulsory at birth, specifically between one to 10 weeks as this will go a long way in reducing the number of babies born with sickle cell.
For intending couples, Father Ifejioku advises that they listen to and obey the guidance of the church and other professionals to help reduce this burden. He said: “From experience, couples who took such risk of going ahead with marriage even when they are carriers of sickle cell trait always live to regret the outcome. Not only that their lives and finances are helplessly diminished, but they also regret seeing their children suffer from sickle cell anaemia and always wished that such a mistake was never made,” he explained.
Mrs Ndukwe also advised couples who want to go ahead with such marriages to visit hospitals and children who have sickle cell anaemia and see the challenges their children are likely to have if they are born with the disease. She added that the hospital visit will help them prepare for the trauma ahead if they eventually marry each other.
“If visiting these hospitals and foundations doesn’t discourage them from continuing, at least they are mentally prepared to face whatever comes,” she noted.
For Olajide-Taiwo, total abandonment of the idea is advised because of its long-lasting consequences like the psychological implications, emotional, economic, social and spiritual implications.
In conclusion, Pastor Oladosu admonished that couples that are not compatible should split and look for other partners, so that they can have happiness and joy. He stressed that they should not be foolish, because “love is not blind, but has its eyes wide open; they (couples) should look forward to the beauty of the future and not to the disaster of the future,” he warned.
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