Today, we will continue with our focus on achieving a great marriage, by taking certain steps. As we progress with the discourse today,we must have it at the back of our minds that achieving a great marriage requires the mutualefforts of each couple. Many at times, one partner feels it is the other partner who needs to do something for the marriage to come out of the blues. This has been found to be a mirage. It takes a couple’s joint efforts to make a marriage great by taking deliberate steps in that direction. We considered some of such steps last week, and we will conclude that here with the following statedsteps.
Family finances must be given priority attention
Money is crucial in achieving a great marriage. Marriages have suffered unimaginable set backs bothering on infidelity, inadequate sex, husband’s low self esteem, separation, in the worst scenario, divorce. So, each couple must plan the family finance to avoid such bottle necks, bearing the following in mind:
+ husband loses leadership when family finance becomes the sole responsibility of the wife.
+ wife indirectly and inadvertently calls the shots when she becomes saddled with family financial responsibility. “He who pays the piper, dictates the tunes” sayings, will play out in this wise.
+wisdom must be employed in handling family finance. Goals must be planned realistically; joint spending must be clearly spelt out: truthfulness and openness must not be compromised; each partner’s weakness- spend thrift, impulse spending etc- must be addressed. The truth is that not one partner should be financially overburdened, or feels overburdened.
* Relate with the mindset of no two marriages are the same
Don’t make another marriage your model, “ hook, line, sinker, fisherman and his boat”. Bear in mind that you are unique in your marriage, and make allowance for that uniqueness when comparing notes about other marriages. Temperaments of actors in marriage oftenplay out in the manner of dealings with each other in the marriage. Understand this, and work with it, to achieve a great marriage.
Be teachable, and be open to correction and understanding that can make a marriage great.
No one knows it all. Be ready to learn from others. Attend marriage seminars and conferences to broaden your view about marriage, and adopt your discoveries in your marriage, with wisdom. I was blessed recently when a partner in turbulent marriage admitted that she had realized that she also had her faults in the state of her turbulent marriage. Neverbe too old, age wise or old marriage, to learn new things that make a marriage great.Failure to do this is the reason for long years’ marriages ending in divorce. An 80year old husband just learnt a new way to deal with his wife, in a 50year old marriage, in order to make the marriage work.
Deal with yourselves with the notion of a supreme being in existence
Having the notion that a supreme being exists, whois omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, will help you to deal with your spouse justly. Let the fact of the existence of the supreme being impose a caution on your conduct with your spouse. You are careful not to act in any manner that will bring that supreme being against you. If you believe in the law of Kama, it is being enforced by the supreme being. If you call it the law of sowing and reaping, God Almighty is the one who directs its enforcement. So, embrace this notion and your conduct in the marriage, and life in general, will be of great loyalty and integrity.
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