SO much has been written and said about violence against the female gender and most especially, the girl child. We have heard of how the girl child is abused sexually, physically and emotionally. We have heard of how brothers, uncles and even fathers sexually abuse their sisters, niese, daughters and sisters.
A girl child is one who possesses unique traits and characteristics, which make her not only a woman, but also a force to be reckoned with, in a world where strength and virtue are deteriorating on a daily basis. The girl child is more than a wife; she is not only a mother, but a channel through which the balance of human existence is built upon. She brings life and also acts as a sole connection between the ideas of life.
When society gives the girl child her rightful place, everybody benefits. Girls who are educated, healthy and free can transform their communities when they become mothers and consequently pass on the benefits to their children and even generations yet unborn. And this is why the girl child must be empowered because it is her right. Every girl has the right to good things of life and when the girl child is empowered, it makes for healthier families and the importance of a girl child in the society could be seen from the universally acclaimed maxim which says, “when one trains a girl, one has trained a nation”.
In Nigeria, one major problem facing the girl child is gender discrimination. Girls are discriminated against based on their gender, both in their communities and in schools, their achievements are not considered as significant as the boys’ achievements are. Less attention is ever paid to educating girls on topics of their body and health. Also, most girls in some parts of the country are often forced into early marriage. When a girl becomes a wife as early as 11-12 years old, she will most likely not have an opportunity to receive proper education
We read in the pages of newspapers and watch on television how the girl child is abused on daily basis. Some, as a result of harmful tradition, lost their lives. The problem seems not to abate, but rather on the increase. Be that as it may, one noticeable thing is that the plight of the girl child has over the years, received attention from governments, non-governmental organisations, corporate bodies and individuals. It should be said here that what is happening to the girl child, is also happening to the boy child, even in a greater proportion.
The 2014 report of Violence Against Children Survey showed that 25 per cent of female and 11 per cent of male experienced sexual violence in childhood. This goes to show that the male child also experience abuse. The reason the abuse on the boy child seems not to gain prominence is the fact that boys, like men are seen by the society as the stronger sex, when compared to the female.
In African setting, boys are expected to be strong, bear pain and are not expected to show any sign of weakness even at the point of great discomfort. It is an incontrovertible fact that in some parts of Nigeria, a woman who is unable to give birth to a male child, could lose her matrimonial home. This is because the male child is seen as one who would keep the family name going. On the other hand, other parts see the birth of a male child as a curse and this accounts for why they are left uncared for and eventually turned into tools of destruction by enemies of the society.
While the uncared boys are turning into street urchins, kidnappers, robbers and fraudster in the south, the northern part of the country is breeding almajiris, bandits and terrorists. When we look at the society today, majority of those who commit suicide are mainly male. Among drug addicts, miscreants, robbers, kidnappers, terrorists and fraudsters, the male child take the lead. The question now is why is it that little or no attention is paid to issues that pertain to the male child? Are we saying that the lives of these young men do not matter or the society can do without them?
While problems faced by the girl child have been brought to the front burner, those of the male child have been overlooked and unrecognised. National Crime Records Bureau statistics for 2018 recorded 21,605 child rapes, out of which 204 were of boys. UNICEF in its 2015 report also stated that one in four girls and one in 10 boys in Nigeria experienced sexual abuse.
In the northern part of the country, where there is the Almajiri system, parents have shifted their responsibilities of caring and educating their male children to religious teachers who in turn send them out to beg for alms to cater for their upkeep. These boys in most cases are the ones used for destruction during the period of crises, especially religious crises. They become the expendables and cannon feeders that politicians use to achieve their political ends.
In the Southern part, the case is not different as the street urchins (area boys), now including boys as young as nine and ten years, are use by both the political class and the rich to cause havoc in the country. Boys, just like girls, also suffer high level of violence, including sexual abuse. The experience they get from this, in turn, makes them more prone to violence as they grow into adults. Boys are easier targets for predators in many ways as they are not as supervised or protected as girls are. There is considerable shame and stigma attached to abuse of the boy child — he is expected to be strong in a patriarchal society. Such a society deters the boy child from being given help; it is something he is left to deal with by himself.
A male child who has suffered sexual abuse may end up with trauma, depression, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts and always has tendencies for violence. Many of them, especially those without parental or other adult supervision, don’t even understand that they have been sexual abused. These issues are hardly talked about even though they have a bearing on male violence towards the female folks later in life.
While the world is busy fighting the course of the girl child by ensuring that they are protected and made to attain the best in life, who is fighting for the right of the boy child? When the girls are all grown up, highly placed in the society and ready for marriage, who will marry them? Is it the uncared boys who would be street urchins in the future that will marry them?
Wouldn’t it be nice if children, irrespective of gender, be equally taken care of, after all, the female needs the male and vice-versa? If we want to maintain the original plan of the creator, which is the existence of both gender, then issue that affect one should not be given priority over the other. It is time the issue of abuse of the male child is brought into the discourse and parents, teachers and the community should be more involved in addressing this menace. Boys should not only be taught about what constitutes abuse, but also to voice out when abused.
Udofia writes from Abeokuta.
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