I thought I would not be a mother again —Toolz

Media personality Tolu Oniru, popularly known as Toolz, has opened about dealing with the loss of her first pregnancy, her father’s death and a COVID infected family during a TV interview entitled chat with Chude Jideonwo and monitored by R.  The media girl said she went from making plans to decorate a nursery to receiving the bad news that she will never hold her child, describing the moment as more than she could bear.

Recounting this experience, she said, “The doctor walked up to me and said, ‘I don’t think your baby is going to survive another week.’ I remember I went cold. And she was like, ‘There are a few things wrong and I don’t think your baby is going to survive another week’. We had gone from talking about how we were going to decorate the nursery and all these things to there might not be a baby. It was horrible”.

Taking in the news, Toolz explained how her faith in God kept her anchored through the entire experience. She said that she heard a voice in her head saying, “This pregnancy is not going to work but you are going to be okay.”

Recalling the tragic evacuation process, Toolz said, “The doctor told me that the baby was not going to make it and advised that I go into labour. I am like, ‘What! I can’t do that. If you make me do that, I will literally run mad in the hospital.’ And she goes, ‘You will be fine.’ It was about seven hours of labour.”

In the midst of it all, Toolz took the common route that many mothers grieving after a miscarriage often take – shame and self-blame. She convinced herself that there was something wrong with her. However, with the help of a therapist, she let herself go through the grieving process, pray and get to a point where she eventually believed that it was not her fault.

In Toolz’ words, “I went from crying every day to going a week without crying. Then I went two weeks without crying. Then I went a month without crying.”

“I just managed to get through everything. I just kept praying. I was like, ‘God, you know why this is happening. I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why I am going through this but you know why”, she said.

She further revealed that the death of her baby prepared her for her father’s death. According to her, “Losing the baby before kind of toughened me up. So, at some point I could see it coming. So, I did start to prepare myself even though I was a bit in denial as well. I think the first made me stronger for the second.”

Dealing with stillbirth and the loss of her dad was harrowing enough, but Toolz had another curve ball thrown her way when three months after the birth of her second child, her entire household tested positive for COVID.

“I remember I was just in a state of panic. It was very, very scary. I couldn’t have my sisters or anybody come because we were a COVID house. It was terrifying”, she said.

YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THESE HEADLINES FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE

Battle For First Bank: The Untold Story

Last week was one of twists and turns for First Bank of Nigeria Limited, the nation’s oldest banking institution. It was a week that saw the bank’s MD sacked and reinstated, as major shareholders struggled for control of the financial powerhouse. SULAIMON OLANREWAJU reports…

#EndSARS Panel: Drama As Witness Presents Video Evidence Of Slain Lekki Protesters

A witness of the Lekki tollgate shooting incident, Miss Sarah Ibrahim has presented video evidence of people injured and killed at the scene to the Lagos State Judicial Panel. Tribune Online reports that…

Truck loaded with live bullets falls, spills contents in Onitsha

Onitsha residents are currently in fear, as a truck fully loaded with cartons of live bullets fell into a ditch and spilled its content all around the street, in the commercial city of Anambra State…

After Two Years, Daddy Freeze Apologises To Bishop Oyedepo
Daddy Freeze whose real name is Ifedayo Olarinde has apologised to Bishop Oyedepo who is the presiding bishop and founder of Living Faith Church aka Winners Chapel…

You might also like
Comments

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. AcceptRead More