Mrs Titi Josephine Fasuyi is the Chief Executive Officer of Destiny Focus Foundation and Vice Chairman, CaxtonJoe Holdings. She shares what growing up was like in this interview with AKIN ADEWAKUN.
You recently turned 60, and decided to commemorate the event at an orphanage. What informed that decision?
We chose to celebrate with those underprivileged children because they’ve been neglected. People don’t go there, and government that should have served as a pillar of support has abandoned them. We had given such support in the past through the Destiny Focus, an NGO that I run. I remember they were trying to construct their classrooms and do some things at that orphanage, then, because where they were living could no longer contain them. We intervened in our own little way. So, the intention was to give succour, and support the husband and wife, running the orphanage.
You also organised a service of hymns as part of the birthday celebrations, to appreciate God for the battles God has given you victory over, in the past six decades, according to you. What were those battles?
They are three. The first one cannot really be described as a celebration of a victory over a battle. It was to thank God for my salvation, because that is where it all started. It was salvation that gave me relationship with God that led to God now fighting my battles.
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But when was this salvation?
That should be around 1976 and 1977
Do you still remember the circumstances leading to that?
Yes, one of my aunties took me to Baba Kumuyi’s crusade. We just came from the North then where I was in Primary 7. But when we came to Lagos, they said there was nothing like Primary 7.
So there was actually Primary 7 in the North then…?
Yes. But it has been cancelled now. When I got to Lagos, I had to go back to Primary 6. I was in Primary 6, when we went to that crusade. It was my mum’s junior sister that took me there. As young as I was then, I think I was a little over 9 years old then. When Baba Kumuyi preached, the only thing that kept coming to me was hellfire, for liars, sinners, and those yet to give their lives to Christ. We were shown a film on hellfire and the many horrible things one can go through there. The thing really hit me, because, as children, we would steal our mum’s money to buy candies, and other things, and it just occurred to me that if one should die in that situation, it is hellfire. I was scared. They called people and I came out, as small as I was then. They prayed for us. That continued till I got to the St. Catherine Secondary School, Owo. I joined the Scripture Union, and started growing in the Christian faith. That really helped me because even with what I heard from Pastor Kumuyi, I still had shortcomings, as a kid. Today you would say you wouldn’t steal again, tomorrow you would find yourself doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t do. When we got to Owo one of my cousins and I used to steal grandma’s money. But the Scripture Union gave me the opportunity to rededicate my life. I thank God because one thing I’m sure of is that it’s grace that I enjoyed, not that I did anything special. If not for the salvation of my soul, it would have been difficult surviving the battle that I later faced.
What’s the second battle?
It’s marital. I wouldn’t really want to go into it much. But it’s really huge. How I survived it was through the grace of God.
How did you do it that from the age of 9, you were not swayed in your faith till now? What is that you did not mingle with anybody since you became born again, especially as a child?
Well, there was a time I almost lost my footing, spiritually. I was at the College of Education, Oyo, then. I was a member of the Scripture Union. And once you joined fellowship, it would prevent you from mingling with every other group. It was in Year 3. The head of all SU, on campus, told me he wanted to see me. Then, if such brother told you that you would be scared, thinking perhaps you had done something wrong. So, I was scared. I told my friend, she is of blessed memory now, about it, and her first reaction was ‘Titi, what have you done?” I told her I never knew. I didn’t go immediately, and when he saw me again, he asked me why I was yet to honour his invitation. So, I went there. When I got there, I saw some sisters and I had to wait outside. When he was through with them and had taken their leave, he asked me to come in. I was scared to enter because I was trying to hazard a guess, regarding what I could have done that would warrant a whole SU president’s summon. When I entered and was asked to sit down, he immediately went to where the door was, shut it and locked it. He put out the light. My mind was racing. I asked what was happening. He said nothing. Later, he started talking of some people having some special grace that will make them commit atrocities, and go scot-free. I was shocked. I said, ‘But you are always teaching us at fellowship that we should not be involved in any sexual immorality’. He told me there was grace for some level of sin. My hands, my feet had begun to sweat. I now shouted ‘Brother. You don’t know me o. If you think I’m just a normal human being, you will be shocked in this room today’. Honestly, I wouldn’t know where that came from. I told him to open the door, if he loved himself, otherwise, I would destroy him and go out there to beg God for forgiveness. He was shocked and asked if I was a witch or possessed. I said I was more than those. That scared him and he opened the door for me to leave and I left.
That incident really affected me to the extent that I stayed away from those activities for some time. It almost derailed my spiritually but for God’s intervention.
Before I give that advice I want to let you know that when I got married to my husband, there was no CaxtonJoe. We both went to the University of Jos. We met at the Ondo State Students’ Association which comprised Ondo and Ekiti States’ indigenes. When we got married, we couldn’t afford the first house we got at Mangoro Agege. What we had then could only get us a space at the inner Agbado Station. When my mother’s brothers and sisters came to see us after the marriage, they called me aside and said ‘Titi, are you okay? Are you sure you are normal? What is happening? Why would you be living in this type of place?’ I told them ‘Don’t worry, God is at work.’ They went to report me to my mom, but she told them that’s what she wanted. My husband was given a Volkswagen at work. If you were inside the vehicle, you would be seeing the road through the gaping holes on the floor. That was the vehicle we had planned to use for our wedding. We eventually settled for my dad’s Toyota Corolla. My husband came in that Volkswagen to church. One of our friends that just bought a Daewoo Racer discovered that it was that Volkswagen they were planning to use to take me to the reception. She called her husband and said, ‘Look at what Segun wants to do.’ So they transferred all the ribbons on my dad’s vehicle to our friend’s vehicle, for us to go to reception. I intentionally tell this story so that it won’t look as if I am advising them because I am comfortable. My first advice to any woman is that she should settle her identity in Christ. If your identity in Christ is wobbling, life will be tough for such a person.
Secondly, marriage requires you to know that you have an input to make. Marriage is not by accident. There should be inputs from both sides. In fact, women should put in more. But men should also know that if God has made you the head of the family, that should come with some responsibilities. Thirdly, avoid third party interference. As much as possible, spouses should not allow third party interference in their homes.
If you had the opportunity to turn back the hand of the clock, what would you have done differently?
In my marriage?
Not restricted to your marriage, but about life generally?
I would not trust people the way I had done in the past. The bible says we should love our neighbours as ourselves, but says ‘woe to those that put their trust in men’. It’s not as if I put my trust in men. It’s just that my nature, my background, taught me to be straightforward. My parents, till they died, never believed in all those talks about people planning evil things against them. Even me, until I got married, I never knew someone could be after me. But, that was a big mistake. So, if I had that opportunity of turning the hand of the clock back, I would just like to love, but not trust everybody.
and then