In the past few weeks, the internet has been awash with news of paternity fraud in Nigeria and the need to conduct paternity tests for one’s wards. This week on Whatsapp conversation, we examine the root cause of the controversy on the social media. Is paternity check a result of lack of trust in marriage? Their responses:
The straight answer is yes. And it’s normal. No matter how much you claim to trust your partner, there’s always room for doubt, the doubt which might not necessarily have been created by you. As for those that won’t ask, it doesn’t mean they all trust too. Some are scared of getting a negative result, while some don’t care.
I don’t think so because with all that is happening and we hear of these days, asking for a DNA paternity check should be paramount to everyone and be one’s priority. Asking for one’s child’s paternity is paramount to know the biological parents of one’s child. So, if one now eventually does the paternity check and discover that the child is not his, it would be better for that person to file for a divorce with his wife so that they can go their separate ways.
Essentially, DNA check is borne out of mistrust in one’s spouse. Yes, social media has impacted and now dictates the tune in marital affairs, but this should not be the case. If you are not cheating and your spouse is not, a DNA check will only be a prerequisite of other medical determinants and not simply because you want to know if the child is truly yours or not.
It is appalling that we are discussing this issue. The free rein it has been given in marriage is disgraceful. Medical technology, as it were, is good; however, trust is a necessity in marriage. How do you get into a relationship with someone you don’t trust in the first place? The paternity/DNA test is birthed out of the confines of distrust. It is only because the popular media seek to commonise the trend that we are having these issues.
Trust, we can say that a positive paternity test can further bolster the trust that exists betweenthe couple already. There is only one person you can absolutely trust, and it is you. You really can’t vouch for someone else. This is the reason you should get the test and put your trust in a scientific, logical score system if the result is otherwise, oh! Then, you know what your next move is.
It is a game of head and tails; if my spouse walks up to me and tells me that he wants to carry out a paternity test on our child, oh! No cause for alarm. It is not going to be an issue. He has the money, and he wants to spend it. However, being human, a part of me will feel like calling his bluff.
We have a relationship, and there should be trust. You must also know that present happenings can shake the level of trust, which has birthed the need for the test. I won’t take it too personal.
It’s just a simple game of logic and emotions; a man says, “We should get a DNA check for the kids,” and the woman thinks there is a trust issue. Beyond the recent uproar on social media, things are happening for real, and you cannot take chances. It might not even be infidelity; we have a very stupid system in the country. What if the nurse switched the child at birth? It might sound hilarious, but these things happen. If you can afford it, you should get a paternity test for your child at birth. It should be standard procedure.
Yes, asking for a DNA test or proof of paternity signifies trust issues. Why would a man, who is not cheating and who has no plans to cheat, think his wife is doing that? There is a breach of trust, and something must be done to fix it. The infidelity of other people in their relationship does not mean that everyone is now unfaithful.
If it is in the absence of a clear medical procedure demanding it, there are no two ways to explain this other than what it is. It is a flagrant lack of trust in the mother, and what will the reaction be if the test vindicates her?
It can even cause the marriage to fail. A DNA test can be conducted without the spouse’s knowledge. Ask the diagnostic center what you need to send, and they will run you through the process. The heartache of the woman finding out can cause untold consequences. Wisdom is profitable.
Next week, the discussion topic will be: Would you have an issue with your friend dating your ex and why?
To be a part, send your response to 08136601345.
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