Do you know who I am? (2)

Before I proceed, I want to congratulate His Excellency Biodun Oyebanji, the newly inaugurated Governor of Ekiti State who took over the reins of government on Sunday 16th October. Now that you are in the saddle sir, please do not allow yourself to be hemmed by partisan hawks who would see the office as another APC trophy. You were elected on the platform of a party, but as Governor of the entire State. I was delighted seeing your predecessor from the opposition party, Ayo Fayose at your inauguration. That is the way it should be. May God grant you wisdom to SERVE Ekiti people with dignity, fairness and equity. May Ekiti people know your regime for indelible development and greater good than all your predecessors. In the same vein, I congratulate His Excellency Dr. John Kayode Fayemi for a successful tour of duty. May God prosper you in your future aspirations as you continue to contribute value to the Nigerian nation.

Still on Ekiti. I commiserate with the people of the State on the demise of an illustrious son, Rt. Hon. Funminiyi Afuye who, until his sudden death on Wednesday 19th of October 2022, was the Speaker of the State House of Assembly. This is a personal loss to me. Niyi and I were friends from childhood. We still spoke on the phone less than a week before his passing. “Age”, as he was fondly nicknamed, was one of the most affable human beings you could ever know. Despite his prominence in the circles of power over a checkered political career spanning about two decades, Niyi was unbelievably accessible and very humble. Niyi exemplified the humility we have been discussing in this series. One of his children was to have been married last Saturday. May God comfort his entire family and cushion this heavy blow for them.

Back to our discourse. In the first part of this series, I closed with the following questions, “What is behind the gentle strength of a truly humble person? Why do they appear so self-assured even when it is obvious that they cannot have their way?”

Genuine humility is rooted in a very strong sense of identity. A person who is confident about who he is, is so self-assured that he has no need for airs. No matter where he finds himself, he simply conducts himself to type, irrespective of disdain or accolades from others. To the humble, titles make no difference. He proves his worth by the value he brings to the table. As a matter of fact, what makes him an enigma is his ability to go anywhere usually understated. He doesn’t wear his achievements on his sleeves. Accolades don’t pump him up and criticism doesn’t faze him either. He never plays to the gallery. He always brings the best and the worst of himself into every situation he finds himself in. Such a life is characterized by honesty and transparency. When he is happy, you know. When he is ticked off, nobody is in doubt. He has no time for drama and hardly feels he needs to explain himself to anyone all the time. What you see is what you get, warts, moles and all.

Very often when we see people who come to power or some who have made money behave in a way that is unlike who we thought they were, we wonder why the sudden change. In reality, there was no change of character. What changed was the platform of manifestation. The humble man is not defined by status or position. He does not hug power or wield it to oppress or harass people. When he seeks power, it is usually for the greater purpose of deploying it to serve others. As it is with the proud, power, wealth or fame never change the humble. They only amplify his personality and provide him an enhanced platform to demonstrate his true character.

Whenever you see anyone who is comfortable in his own skin, he extends the same courtesy to people and expects them to be authentic around him. He encourages divergence and diversity. Pretenders enervate him to no end. He is highly tolerant of other people’s opinions and positions even when they don’t agree with him. This makes him a great listener who can think through other people’s contributions without projecting or imposing his own thoughts on them. He does not see the need to make his voice the loudest in the room and does not seek to drown others in a conversation. The ability to listen to others is one of the hallmarks of great leadership.

When involved in an argument, a humble person simply puts forward his position and, even when he knows he is right, does not dismiss the opinions of others with a wave of the hand and never tries to make anybody look stupid. He is very generous with praise and will gladly back down from a position, no matter how strongly he held it, when confronted with superior argument.

Propelled by a sincere desire to serve others, a humble person has no problem walking away from scenarios that set him up for conflict with others, not out of cowardice or fear but out of preference. Sometimes, even when he has the privilege of right, he has no qualms yielding place to another person. If you find someone who finds it difficult to apologize or who plays the victim even when all facts on ground prove him wrong, you are looking at a man who wears his ego on his sleeves. Only the fool and the proud insist on holding on to a position or opinion that has been proved wrong and untenable by superior, facts-based logic or argument.

Humble people don’t engage in influence-peddling. Name-dropping is the pastime of the haughty and empty who need to employ other people’s image and identity for validation or to give themselves an exaggerated sense of worth. Humble people hardly boast of their accomplishments unless it is absolutely necessary. They leave that recognition to others.

Very often, humble people come across as weak, unassuming and understated. So, they are usually likely to be underrated and taken for granted by the undiscerning. And that is where their strength lies. They are nobody’s fool. Stooping to conquer, they are usually very proactive and calculated. Their self-effacing mien only veils a strong personality that can stand alone if need be, when convinced that the values that undergird their identity are being assaulted.

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As leaders, even at the risk of being misunderstood and labelled rigid, humble people are imbued with a stoic disposition and focus on their vision and core values rather than what may be popular. Consequently, they are not afraid of taking firm or tough, unpopular decisions. This refusal to pander to cheap populism at the expense of the ideal makes people sometimes think that they are the exact opposite of who they are!

Do you know who you are? Or do you need us to remind you of who you are not?

Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!