People enter into a relationship for various valid reasons, but others enter for the wrong reasons. Relationships may appear beautiful and easy on the outside, but there’s a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes.
The real deal is what’s happening when no one is watching. All the more reason it’s advisable for you to get your acts together before entering into a relationship.
You must be sure of what your purpose is. You must be able to identify your reasons. As mentioned earlier, people enter relationships for the right and wrong reasons. What are the wrong reasons people enter into a relationship?
1. Fear of being single
What creates fear in people? Most of the time, it is something that could potentially cause you harm that people get scared of. Being single is not harmful. It is a safe moment in your life that ought to be enjoyed. Your single period is a blessing and not a moment that should create fear in your life. There are several things you can do in your single period to make it count. You can enjoy your period of singleness instead of being eager to enter into a relationship. Make your single period count. That’s the period to take bold steps in alignment with your purpose.
Speaking of purpose, singlehood is a good time to discover it if you haven’t.
2. Pity
One of the illogical reasons for entering into a relationship is because you pity someone. Have you asked yourself this question, what happens when the “pity factor” is out of the picture? That is, if what made you pity them is no longer in the picture, what will be the fate of your relationship? You probably pity someone because they are grieving, or they just got over a break up, or they are battling an illness, or they don’t feel confident about themselves. It could be anything.
This is the wrong reason you enter a relationship. The probability that you’ll regret in the end is high.
3. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is a lack of confidence in your ability and your identity. It is another wrong reason to enter a relationship. You’d be causing yourself harm if you enter a relationship thinking that your partner will help you get better at feeling confident and worthy. You don’t want to be a burden to your partner. Why not work on that part of your life before being in a relationship?
4. Sex
What happens if you don’t get to have sex for a while in your relationship? What else is there to make it work? Nothing, right? Sex should not be the sole reason for being in a relationship. What if something goes wrong and sex is not an option anymore? Would you leave or stay?
Relationships are not about sex alone. Vulnerability, sacrifice, intentionality, love, communication, respect, and many others are elements that make a relationship work.
5. Money
Money is good. There’s a common saying that when money is involved, love makes more sense. Money is good and loved. Every sane person needs money. However, making money the sole reason for a relationship is a sign of a weak relationship. There would always be low moments. What will happen if you or your partner no longer have as much money as he or she used to have when you both started? The moment the element of attraction, which is money, is missing. The relationship would crash.
In economics, your wants are insatiable and money will never be enough to take care of all that you need; that’s why you need a scale of preference. And the moment the element of attraction, which is money, is missing, The relationship will crash.
6. Peer pressure
Pressure is real. You see your peers showing off their relationships, and you listen to how they keep talking about how good their relationship is and how things are going for them. You see pictures, videos, and gifts and you are moved to go into a relationship with someone so that you can walk in the same shoes.
Of course, the chances that it will last are really slim because you will enter the relationship and realize that it takes far more than pictures, videos, and gifts for a relationship to work.
7. Comparison
Your friend in a relationship seems to be successful at it, and you think that you will measure up to or surpass them once you enter into a relationship. You are willing to prove a point to them and others that you can do it better, and in the process, it all ends up being a mess.
8. Pressure from family
Pressure from the family is real. Family is a big part of our existence. It is seen as the first institution of learning. So, pressure from your family may be because of age or for other reasons known to them. When you enter, and there are problems, your family will be the last group of people to face them on your behalf. That’s if they ever get to feel sorry for you.
9. Revenge
Entering a relationship to seek revenge for whatever reason may be because you have lied to yourself that you’ll feel better once you are able to pull it off. There are better ways to deal with hurt, but revenge should never be an option.
Above all, understand why you want to enter into a relationship before you do. Ensure that you do your due diligence and get your act together. You don’t have to enter for the wrong reasons.
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