Mourning the dead

IN the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

The Prophet (SAW) wept upon the death of his son Ibrahim. Mourning the dead is allowed in Islam but excessive and exaggerated mourning is discouraged. Expressing condolences to the bereaved family and relatives is encouraged. There should be no wailing or loud lamentation.

Muslims should avoid loud, exaggerated wailing or lamentation as this is considered a pre-Islamic practice. There should be no tearing of clothes. Muslims should refrain from tearing clothes or pulling hair as a sign of mourning. There should be no excessive mourning as this can lead to despair and hopelessness. Islam encourages patience and acceptance in order for the Muslims to readily accept Allah’s decree. The following Hadiths of the Prophet (SAW) give credence to the points being stressed here:

“The deceased is punished for the wailing of his family.” (Sahih Bukhari)

“The believer who dies, and the Muslims pray over him, will be forgiven.” (Sahih Muslim)”

When the Prophet (SAW) received the news of the death of An-Najashi ibn Abjar, the King of Ethiopia, who had granted refuge to early Muslim migrants, he announced the news to his companions in Al-Madinah. It was actually through Allah (SWT) revelation that the Prophet (SAW) had the knowledge of the king’s death. He gathered his companions in the mosque and informed them about the king’s passing. He said to his companions, “Today, a righteous man has died. Pray for your brother An-Najashi.” He led a Janazah (funeral prayer) in absentia, as An-Najashi corpse was in Ethiopia. He went further to express condolences to the Muslims who had sought refuge in Ethiopia under An-Najashi’s protection.

Also, when the Prophet (SAW) received the news of Jafar ibn Abu Talib’s death in the Battle of Mu’tah, he announced it to his companions in Al-Madinah. The Prophet (SAW) received revelation from Allah (SWT) about Jafar’s martyrdom. He gathered his companions in the mosque to inform them about Jafar’s death. He said, “Jafar’s (R.A.) has met his Lord, and He has replaced his lost limbs with wings.” The Prophet (SAW) described Jafar’s (R.A.) martyrdom and his bravery in battle. He was visibly moved and wept upon announcing Jafar’s death. He expressed condolences to Jafar’s family, including his wife Asma bint Umays and his children.

Again, the Prophet (SAW) received revelation from Allah (SWT) about Abdullah ibn Rawahah’s (R.A.) martyrdom in the Battle of Mu’tah. He gathered his companions in the mosque in this tradition and informed them about Abdullah’s death. He said, “Abdullahi ibn Rawahah has been martyred, and he has been granted Al-Wasilah (a high rank in Paradise).” He talked extensively on Abdullah’s bravery and his role in the battle. The Prophet (SAW) was too emotional and visibly distressed such that he had to weep bitterly upon announcing Abdullah’s demise. He condoled with Abdullahi ibn Rawahah’s (R.A.) family and tribe. The Prophet (SAW) further said, “Abdullahi ibn Rawaha is the leader of the martyrs of the Battle of Mu’tah.” He went on to proclaim Abdullahi ibn Rawahah (R.A.) as one of the very few to have attained the Paradise ranking of Al-Wasilah.

The Prophet (SAW), in the same manner, gathered his companions, in his usual practice, in the mosque to inform them of Sa’id ibn Arithah’s (R.A.) death in the Battle of Mu’tah. He went on to state unequivocally that Sa’id ibn Arithah (R.A.) had been granted a high rank in Paradise. He spoke so much on Sa’id’s bravery and dwelled on his pivotal roles in the Battle of Mut’ah. The Prophet (SAW) purged his somber emotions through weeping as he announced Sa’id ibn Arithah’s (R.A.) passing there in the presence of his companions. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Sa’id ibn Arithah was one of the best of the Ansar (the companions of the Prophet (SAW) from the inhabitants of Al-Madinah who embraced Islam and supported it and also received and entertained the Muslims emigrants from Mecca and other places).” The Prophet (SAW) was further quoted as saying, “He has been granted a high rank in Paradise, and I bear witness to his martyrdom.”

All of the recorded events affirm the importance and the justification of showing emotion and empathy in times of loss of lives. The high esteem and reward that are bestowed on martyrs in Islam has also been underlined in those events.

Of note, the accounts of the announcements of martyrdom of Jafar ibn Abu Talib (R.A.) and Sa’id ibn Arithah (R.A.) are similar, reflecting the Prophet’s (SAW) emotional response to the loss of his beloved companions. All show the strong bond between the Prophet (SAW) and his companions. On An-Najashi’s account, it shows Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) connection with the global Muslim community. It also shows his respect for a non-Muslim ruler who supported Islam.

An-Najashi’s support for Muslims earned him a special place in Islamic history, and Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) announcement of his death reflects the significance of their relationship.

In the Islamic tradition, the prescribed days for mourning a deceased Muslim vary based on the relationship with the deceased. For instance, women are allowed an Iddah period of four months and 10 days to mourn their deceased husbands.

However, parents, children, siblings, other relatives and friends are recommended to mourn for three days. The focus should be on prayer, charity and good deeds to benefit the departed Muslim.

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