Emmanuel Igboke – The Nigerian Canadian actor, has deplored the idea of being coerced into believing that there’s a certain age limit or timeframe for one to be married, saying that marriage under family and peer pressure should be stopped.
The actor who made the impression while addressing marriage and family issues on his talk-show namely; Monthly inclusion manifest with Emmanuel. In collaboration with Afro Caribbean Canadian Cultural and Entertainment Foundation. ACCCEF. Stated that many cultures today believe that a well-brought-up Child is one who gets married early and starts a family of their own. That our lives and our communities will be a better place when people get married and stay married, no matter what.
In order to be a participant in this social trophy, many parents have gone to great lengths by setting up blind dates, arranging marriages, matchmaking encouraging blood oats, and much more for their children. However, this virus does not only come from parents but friends, peers, acquaintances, elders, in-laws, uncles, and aunties are not holy in this regard either. They have made it hard for single ones to attend a wedding program in peace without being questioned “When would we drink the wine? Where is your man? When would your time come? Do you think you’ll remain young forever?”
A lot have been coerced into believing that there’s a certain age limit or a timeframe (especially for the female gender) for one to be married, once this limit is crossed, like a flower, she will slowly wither and not be desirable.
The bulk of this and more is what has caused a dent in the mentality of marriage seekers as they find themselves getting married for petty reasons such as everybody’s doing it, they want to have a big party, family is driving them nuts, They think they have been together “too long” to not be married or worse they want a sparkly ring.
Nevertheless, I say, a person should not jump into marriage simply because he or she feels pressured to do so!
Marriage is the legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife. Now if you’re an extreme introvert or the type of person that loves to make decisions for yourself and hates advice or counsel then this union shouldn’t even be for you because it is the coming together of two imperfections as one legally. There are bound to be problems, misconceptions, clumsiness, infringing on each other spaces without permission, diverted focus or goals in life, and tons of responsibilities
The reality of this union is that it is not a key factor to an assured, well-stable future.
In fact, the Bible let us know that with “marriage comes many tribulations”. These words are timely because records have shown that there is an ever-increasing number of broken homes and this is alarming. A lot who got married due to pressure or lack of preparation couldn’t even keep their homes. Many got separated, some got divorced and others lost their lives
There’s more to life than just changing relationship status to satisfy a feeling that you are not even sure of. The reckless unwillingness to acknowledge each other’s opinion, having no control of your emotion, appalling efforts to seek your partner’s attention, anger issues, genotype issue, unpreparedness, and the endless list that will drive counselors mad.
If you ask me, I admire the ones that look at themselves and understand that, if they should get married, they would end up destroying others and I think, this is what most people need to ask themselves – will you make this person better when I make her my spouse or you are just looking for a glory hole you can fall into under the guise of “I paid your brideprice”
Why is it easy to understand that in all other aspects of life, all fingers are not equal but, when it comes to marriage; it is a compulsion. When it comes to marriage, all fingers are equal. When it comes to marriage, you must weird your survival mode. When it comes to marriage, you must learn the ultimate thing of destroying the emotional state of the person you vowed to love.
So, in place of the above, what am I saying?
There is happily ever after for all of us; whether we choose to share it with someone or not, should be our sole decision everyone should respect. When someone says, I do not want to be married, let them be. Leave them! They have their reasons just like you have yours for being married.
Don’t let men swing bible verses at you to make you feel you are in the wrong for deciding to be on your own. Me being on my own does not mean, I am lonely. Not being married does not diminish your role in life. It does not diminish your value or your virtue. Not wanting marriage is just not wanting marriage; it is just one of the millions of choices you will make in life and you have to live with. Period
P.S: Well-known men in the Bible never even got married just to keep their minds straight and their focus in sight e.g Jesus Christ
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