Is cheating inevitable in marriage?

Being cheated on is no good news any wife or husband wants to hear. Unfortunately, it is rampant in many toxic and happy marriages. The latter may surprise you, but it is true. 

To gauge the percentage of couples that have extramarital affairs, The institute of family studies (IFS), reported based on the demographics of infidelity in America, that nearly all studies on extramarital affairs report that men engage more in extramarital affairs. 

According to their IFS(2018) research, 20% of men and 13% of women have had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. When you put the data together, about 15-20% of married couples cheat.

According to another research by American’s Generation Gap study on extramarital affairs, the rate of cheating increases with age for both genders. It reveals that 20% of older(55-80) couples had cheated during their marriage and about 14% of couples under the age of 55 reported adultery in their marriage. 

In other words, people who cheat have been married for as long as 20 to 30 years and are between the ages of 50 and 60. More than 50% of cheating spouses, both men and women, on a Truth About Deception (TAD) survey say they confessed to their spouse about their affair.

While there are many factors in any relationship that might lead a spouse or partner to cheat, studies have found that financial instability can contribute to adulterous behaviour. The American Sociological Association (ASA) noted that 15% of men who are financially dependent on their spouse will cheat.

Also, young men are more likely to cheat if there is a financial earning discrepancy. That is, there is a lesser possibility of cheating if he earns at least 70% of the household income. Equally, the more a woman earns, the less likely she is to commit adultery in the American context. However, when literate working women in Lagos were asked what motivated them to cheat on their spouse, they mentioned factors such as  lack of care and attention, nonchalant attitude of the husband, lack of emotional support to mention a few. 

Generally among men and women, lack of variety, protracted disagreements among couples ranging from from domestic violence, to lack of expression of love and care, to a reduction in commitment are common causes of cheating. 

While some people confess and try to make up what is left of their relationship with their spouses, there are other individuals who enjoy the thrill of doing something uncensored or impermissible. Hence, such persons are more likely to cheat without attributing the cause to any of the motivating factors mentioned earlier. 

The important question everyone should consider is: should cheating be regarded as an inevitable wrong in a marriage? In what ways should cheating be dealt with, Should it be a dealbreaker for new or old marriages. Drop your feedback in the comments. 

Also Read:

Look before you leap into extra marital affairs

Knowing you are the troubler of your marriage

Crisis in marriage: At what point should divorce be an option 2