THE high rate of divorce has raised a lot of questions, one of which is: Is divorce actually allowed or at what point is divorce the best option in a troubled marriage especially since divorce seems to be unacceptable to Christians and Muslims.
However, the liberal-minded believe that when the relationship is not working out; just pull the plug from such marriage, especially when it is capable of leading to loss of life or permanent damage. In Nigeria, there are several grounds for divorce and they are based on unacceptable behaviours from a spouse, as well as bad habits which can have negative consequences. The question is: “Crisis in marriage: At what point should divorce be an option?”
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert said on the issue:
Well, I’m not yet married, so I can’t say with certainty. But I think when domestic violence and distrust sets in, it is time to call it quits. Domestic violence is clear enough, distrust can be when one party grievously deceives the other. For instance, I read the story of a man who applied for visa to a foreign country and indicated in the application that his wife was dead. He went ahead and had a court marriage with another lady. All this while the first lady was still in his house and not aware of what was going on, and their marriage is blessed with children. In such circumstances, I’d call it quits with that marriage. A grievous deceit had been committed.
Marriage is for a lifetime, except if the two would lie and forfeit the conjugal vows.
At the point of infidelity, especially when a woman wants to cut short my existence and hurt me beyond reasonable degree.
When it is likely to lead to loss of life or permanent disabilities. There is nothing like brief separation here except in developed countries. Culturally, people don’t believe in brief separation or permanent separation.
When there is no longer love between the spouses; tolerance, lack of trust, lack of communication and many other bad factors and also when there’s cheating in the marriage. Then, divorce is an option
Infidelity and continuous beating or assault that could lead to death.
At no point but it also depends on the type of marriage. If your marriage was orchestrated by God then, at no point are you meant to give up on your marriage because the crisis you are facing now is not the end of the world for you, because God is involved.
If the two parties don’t have solution to the crisis, the best option is to file for divorce and go your separate ways before they end up killing each other.
Divorce both in Islam and Christianity is rarely recommended! However, death as a result of anger in either or both of the spouses is also forbidden. Whereas no one wants either of the parties to be adjudged right or wrong, if the family, religious leaders or the society fails to resolve whatever the spousal difference (s) was, the couple would have no other option than for the husband and wife to file for divorce.
Ann Uche Odimmega
Marriage is meant to be sacred and it means the joining of one man and one woman together to become one. Divorce could be an option in marriage when that marriage is no longer working between the husband and wife. When the relationship between the two parties is mutual, the relationship is said to be in good shape but when the relationship is parasitic, marriage loses its taste. For instance, in the case of battery where the husband molests the wife, divorce is considered in other to avoid death of either partner.
The best advice is don’t divorce. Rather, check yourself as the husband or wife when things are going wrong or have gone wrong. Never divorce your wife for any reason that is why you must carefully choose a partner that you will be ready to stick with through the thick and thin of life. People forget their conjugal vows so easily- it states that till death do us part, not adultery or any other issue we could state. The reason many can’t settle their differences is because of ego. Also, remember that the Bible said “no man should put asunder what God has joined together.” So, divorce is not a solution but a set back and a sin of disobedience to why God instituted marriage. If you are a Christian, remember what they asked Jesus about divorce? They asked: Master what should make a man divorce his wife and His response. ‘When a man caught his wife with another man committing adultery he can divorce her but he should be ready not to marry another person else they have both committed the same adultery he was accusing his wife of”
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Should occupation of the spouse be a basis of acceptance to marriage proposal?
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