How to revive a dying or dead friendship

Friendships are the building blocks of life. You only attract good friends when you’re one yourself.

Contents

1. Ask yourself if you still want that friend in your life 2. Figure out what caused the gap 3. Apologise 4. Show your friend(s) that you really care about them 5. Make time for your friend(s)

Friendship can be likened to a building. It takes intentionality, sacrifice, time and love to make a friendship grow. Starving a friendship of the required nutrients of love, time, and sacrifice can lead to its premature death.

It’s quite possible for a friendship to experience death, and it is also possible for a dying or dead friendship to be revived. It only takes hard work and intentionality from the parties involved to make a dying friendship come back to life.

Have you lost a friendship that you wish you are able to make work again? Is your friendship currently experiencing a slow death? Here is how to revive a dead or dying friendship.

1. Ask yourself if you still want that friend in your life

Life is in stages and according to the popular Yoruba saying “20 children cannot play for 20 years.” Not all friendships will survive the test of time and the earlier you know that not all relationships are meant to thrive the better for you.

The first step to reviving a dead or dying friendship is to sincerely ask if you still want such friend(s) in your life. Ask yourself if the friendship is worth fighting for because some friendships are better left dead.

Is it a friendship that has made you a better person or it is a friendship that debars you from being the best? When you give answers to these questions and more, if it’s a positive friendship, you can proceed to the next step and if not, you need to move on.

2. Figure out what caused the gap

A friendship doesn’t experience a strain in a day. It happens over a period of time and only leads to the eventual death of the friendship because both parties didn’t pay attention to it.

The second step in reviving your dying or dead friendship is for you to make your due diligence on the factors that led to it.

Are you too busy that you hardly have time to catch up with your friend?
Is one or both of you experiencing a tough time?
Is it a result of distance?
Do you have things in common or you are two parallel lines that should not meet?
Does the other party still possess what you desire in a friend?

When you know the reasons for the dying friendship, you are better able to make amends and prevent such from repeating itself in the future.

3. Apologise

A sincere, heartfelt apology can work wonders than you can ever imagine. After discovering the cause of your dying friendship, the next thing to do is to seek means to apologise and reconcile.

You don’t necessarily have to be the one at fault before you can put a call through to your friend or pay a visit to make peace.

If the friendship is worth fighting for, then take the first step and make amends. You can also get your friend a gift just to show your remorse and that you are willing to put in your best to make your friendship come back to life.

Let bygones be bygones and choose to start on a fresh slate.

4. Show your friend(s) that you really care about them

If you have great friends in your life who are concerned about all that pertains to you, then you should count yourself lucky. True friendship is scarce these days and if you have one, you need to guard it jealously.

After reaching out to your friend, show that you really care about them and that they are of great importance to you.

Get gifts for them. Call them often. Just try your best to pass a message of your sincerity to them and with time, you will have them back.

5. Make time for your friend(s)

Communication is the lubricant for the wheels of all friendships. The final step to take in reviving your dying or dead friendship is for you to make quality time for your friends. Even if you can’t see them on a regular basis, ensure you make it a culture to check up on them. Ask if they are truly OK.

Make them see that you truly care, and no matter the distance, you can both come up with a schedule for spending quality time with yourselves.

The gift of true friendship is one that is scarce these days, so when you have one, guard it jealously and do all you can to make things work.

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