Five red flags to look out for in a friendship

It is often believed that red flags should only be looked out for in a romantic relationship, but that may not always be true as red flags are also prevalent in friendships we go into.  

Red flags are experiences you encounter in a friendship that do not align with your values, and beliefs and are capable of hurting you or leaving you broken in the long run.  

The reason you need to identify red flags in a friendship is because that friendship is also capable of hurting you and leaving you broken if care is not taken.  

Nearly everyone will experience friendship wounds at some point in their lives, and those are some of the most difficult wounds to move past.  

It is important you identify red flags in any potential friendship so you will be able to make the decision of either cutting yourself off from such friendship or giving your friend the space to go work on themselves.  

In order to preserve your mental and emotional health, here are five red flags to look out for in a potential friendship   

1. Jealously/competitiveness   

One red flag you should never ignore in a potential friendship is jealousy or competitiveness.   

You should not agree to be a friend to an individual who gets jealous of you, your beauty, your success, your financial status or your gifts. Neither should you be friends with anyone who sees you as a competitor rather than a friend.   

A person who always wants to prove that they are better than you or get jealous when they see you achieving a great feat should not be given such an important position of friends in your life.  

A good friend is meant to compliment you, help you get better at what you do, and applaud your success and not the opposite.   

Here are tips  on how to make a new friend  

2. Lack of respect for boundaries   

Anyone who claims to want to be your friend should be able to respect your boundaries.   

If a person seeking your friendship does something wrong and you tell them you didn’t like that, and they continue to do it anyway, that’s definitely a friendship red flag.  

A lack of respect for your boundaries is a big problem. If after you communicate your boundaries to this individual and they still don’t act accordingly, then that friendship wouldn’t be a healthy one.  

If you’ve communicated a boundary, and your potential friend consistently crosses it, that’s a problem. That indicates they have little to no respect for you, and who wants to be friends with someone who constantly disrespects them?  

3. Using your vulnerability against you   

You know there are sometimes you meet some strangers but you don’t know the reason you just freely pour out your mind and vulnerability to them. Sometimes, it feels like you have known them all your life whereas you have only known them for just a few hours, days or weeks.  

When a potential friend begins to see a reason to use your vulnerability or secrets against you, then such individuals are not worth a space in your life because they will be toxic to your life.  

Take for instance you tell this person that you mistakenly kissed one of your friends and they begin to stylishly talk about this in front of your spouse. Such individuals are toxic, run for your life before they ruin you.  

If they will be true friends in the future, they should be able to keep your secrets and protect your vulnerability.   

4. They dismiss your problems but expect you to understand theirs  

One of the most important qualities in a healthy friendship is reciprocity.  

 Friendship is about ‘give’ and ‘take.’ It is not meant to be one-sided. When you notice that your potential friend always wants you to hear them out and help with their problems and they failed to do the same for you, then you should not consider having such an individual as a friend.   

The best friendships are two-sided, when you notice that someone doesn’t listen to (and, by proxy, seriously care about) what’s happening in your life, that is a friendship red flag.   

If you are with someone who never talks to you or hangs out unless they need something from you, then they aren’t and can’t be true friends.   

Just do them the favour of not being their friend.   

5. You can’t be yourself around them  

A person who cannot accommodate your true person is not worthy of your friendship. Being friends with a person who makes fun of you or makes you feel the need to change your true self is dangerous because, in the end, you find yourself people-pleasing just to be liked and accepted.  

It is risky to be friends with people who might make you feel the need to change who you are so that you can feel accepted.   

So, it is best to cut off that relationship when you identify this red flag,  for the sake of your own mental and emotional health.  

There are so many wonderful people out there who are ready to engage in a healthy friendship, pay more attention and locate these true friends.  

Have you located these true friends? Here is how to maintain and sustain the friendship.   

Ignoring these red flags in a potential friendship will only lead you to experience pain and regrets.   

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