Daily, and everywhere in our dear country, Nigerians read and hear about societal trends which are often so incredible that they are awesome. The persistent penchant for the absurd in public and private life of the country can sometimes only be imagined. Some of these trends are often what government did or what they failed to do. Yes, there have been many incredible actions by successive governments and they are still balling. Among individual Nigerians too, the proclivity for the absurd is not in short supply and there have been corresponding negative characterisation of both the country and its citizens. Things are either created to be haphazard or we are just clueless in our handling of certain issues. It has come to be referred to as ‘anyhowness’ by the same Nigerians.
The word “Anyhowness” is a noun Nigerians created from the adverb ‘anyhow’. The word came alive given the way nearly everything about the country’s life is done anyhow, or are left to be done anyhow. Many things Nigerian which we do in the country usually conform to that suasion given by Bob Marley to the rockers of his song: Jamming. “Ain’t no rules, ain’t no vows we can do it anyhow” sang the notable reggae icon. In Nigeria, it appears that we take it literally in all our ‘doings’. We even usually take it a notch higher than Bob Marley’s prescription. In Nigeria, it is: “Ain’t no rules, ain’t no bounds, we can do it anyhow”. Or, are we not known to do things anyhow and are without bounds in our incredibility? In fact, our ‘anyhowness’ knows no bounds. It triggers a sobering reflection on a thought expressed also on Nigeria: “If they explain Nigeria to you and you understand, then they did not explain it very well.”
Anyhowness is Nigerian, and the word to also define it is ours. Its coinage came to find a single term to define the uncoordinated life the nation is leading, and the uncoordinated manner a lot of things are done by nearly all classes of people in the country. When each strata of the society does things anyhow, these little bit of activities come together to register as a norm and thereby concretise anyhowness in the general society. There is that inexplicable way Nigerians derail smooth processes and turn them from a usual smooth process into utter chaos. That is anyhowness. As a people, we have made a very comfortable bed for everything awkward in our country; and when questions are asked about anarchical methods, the man seeking order becomes the victim.
The sustained season of anyhowness, like the current rainy season, is now in full bloom. When the rain catches you in some places, you will realise how ‘anyhow’ we could be as drivers. Our public transportation system is one of the examples of our anyhowness. It is so uncoordinated that it would be a wonder if we could do anything about it. Governor Seyi Makinde, through his Park Management System brought some level of sanity in the public transport system in Oyo State, but that sector of our life, especially the intra-city public transportation is still among the most chaotic areas of our life as a society. Let’s not fret about the fares that are arbitrarily foisted. Transport fares in a place like Lagos is at another level of anyhowness. Fares are determined by the time, the whim of the commercial driver or the dictates of the weather. In Ibadan, during festivals commercial drivers will bluntly tell you: A n gba owo odun. We are charging for the festival.
A look at our public infrastructure is another pointer to the high-level anyhowness we have in and around our country. As a younger person, I once asked if public buildings in the country are ever planned to be maintained, and if there were people saddled with that responsibility. If the monumental Cocoa House in Ibadan were left in the care of successive governments, that building would have become a residue in history. Thanks to Odu’a Investment Company Limited which has exhibited uncommon resilience in keeping that historic legacy alive and, healthy and functional. I think the owner-governments of Odu’a Investment Company Limited should be commended for lending themselves some brain by letting the company run as it is, and as it should. I wonder why other sections of the country haven’t taken any lesson from Odu’a and thereby grow the country. That we have refused to learn from such pristine examples is also a component of our anyhowness as a collective.
The National Stadium in Lagos is one of the monumental ruins of Nigeria’s anyhowness. Her daughter in Abuja named after Chief M.K.O Abiola, was built by the government of Olusegun Obasanjo for the All Africa Games of 2003. The MKO Abiola Stadium in Abuja is a standing legacy which daily reminds us of what we are talking about. The Obafemi Awolowo Stadium – Liberty Stadium in Ibadan is now more of a mere relic than a national heritage. These stadia are now hoary shadows of beauty and sad reminders of what could have been. They are victims of our anyhowness. Meanwhile, none of these abandoned bequeaths in Nigeria is near as elderly as the Wembley Stadium in London. Imagine if our national stadia could compare. Since Wembley Stadium opened as Empire Stadium in 1923 till today, and after all the transformation, it is still a cherished monument. It still hosts about the number of spectators that trooped there on 28 April, 1923 when Bolton Wanderers beat West Ham United to win their first FA Cup. Conversely, the youngest Nigerians who would remember seeing games at either the National Stadium in Lagos or the Liberty Stadium in Ibadan should be on the wrong side of 50 years of age. On the other hand, Wembley is still hosting England’s national and other important football games. In Nigeria, we borrow the Godswill Akpabio Stadium in Uyo.
If we choose not to discuss human errors like ‘snake and monkey swallowing and stealing public money’, we would be faced by the anyhow Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and its heartless traders. PDP was supposed to provide leadership and guided opposition, but it has no heart, and it is also heartless. It has also sold its political position in the country to anyhowness. The party, like the biblical baby in the judgement of Solomon, is now being pulled apart. The hapless child is wished a brutal death by one mother while the other mother wants the child to live. Even mindless Oloshos cannot do what PDP lovers are doing to it! Poor PDP is a sad victim of anyhowness in heart and mind and spirit. The party’s members are not in harmony and their symphony is, at best a disarray. Some are speaking life to the party while some are articulating its obsequies. Where is the love of PDP in the hearts of the undertakers? It is all anyhowness…
Nigeria’s Ministry of Interior is trying to reign in the galloping lack of standards. Let’s see how it would resolve the Kirikiri Maximum Security Prison debacle. They have rechristened the prison ‘custodial centre’ for effect, but it is still what it is. So, for the sake of the owners, we say Kirikiri Maximum Custodial Centre in Lagos is supposed to be the prime example of prisons in Nigeria. However, a story broke recently which amazed and amused. It was as a result of ingrained anyhowness in that aspect of our national life.
An inmate who is an armed robbery convict was caught as he went to apply for passport. He was supposed to be serving a long prison sentence but he was caught trying to process an international passport. He was selected among those who were to carry out physical tasks and was sent with other inmates to their work site. While at it, another prison official came to take him on the excuse that he was going to execute another task elsewhere. He landed at the Immigration, where he was undergoing capturing for possible passport issuance. There, the probably flippant prison official lost guard and sought to hasten the process because he was taking Ayo back to prison. He inadvertently squealed and the more vigilant and perceptive immigration officer wondered how a passport applicant would be taken back to prison. The prison official identified simply as Femi is not just in trouble, but he is in a big mess if the usual anyhowness isn’t injected into how this matter is handled by the super authorities.
A lot has been said about our anomie. We need leadership to be able to have a grip on this sliding country. Otherwise, we would all be the losers to our anyhowness. But, phew! APC is in power…
and then