RECENTLY, popular musician, 9ice, came out on the social media to ask his followers to help him plead with his wife whom he had cheated on to come back into his life. The question Whatsapp Conversation is asking today is: Are men biologically wired to cheat? Since that was the excuse a lot of people made for the ‘Gongo Aso’ crooner. Below are the responses we got from some of our readers.
I once heard a woman say: ‘‘It is in the generation of every male to cheat, so any guy with balls just has to cheat.” I completely disagree though! A person who wants to cheat will cheat and anyone who decides not to will not.
I once heard that given the right conditions and ambience, anybody can cheat. So, restricting it to only men is basically biased. At the same time, cheating is wrong and we must not fail to outline how society has made cheating look cool for men. It is not!
Sometimes, the urge comes naturally, irrespective of gender. The temptation to cheat is universal. But the choice is yours. Men cheat, so do women. Just that one gender does it with their chest held out because our society holds a milder moral view of them in this context compared to the other gender
We should first understand that before religion and western education, polygamy was the norm of our society. It was traditionally shameful for a woman to have more than one man lay on top of her. Years have passed and we’re more versed in foreign knowledge and civilisation but we can only lock ourselves in a dark room, which wouldn’t stop the sun from dictating the time of the day. In short, women mostly getting the bitter end of promiscuity is just the leftover of how our society was meant to be wired before ‘civilisation’ came. We are all end-products of the society that was meant to be but wasn’t. But then, there’s no justification for cheating for both genders. Is there a reason why people cheat? Yes. Is it a necessity to cheat? No
Cheating is not normal and the lady was right to leave him or get angry with him because for me, I feel cheating is very bad in a relationship or marriage because for you to cheat, you would have thought about it and the thing that is supposed to be for me alone will now be a national cake. This has nothing to do with his biology.
No one is biologically wired to cheat, it is just what they were taught that it’s okay for them to cheat. This then goes as far as creating an illusion that they’re wired to cheat. Biology didn’t do that, the society did.
I would like to agree that it is an option to consider. Why? There is a natural tendency that is pretty hardwired in men as specie that suggests putting your seed in as many places as possible. You might want to stop and not want to stop at the same time. That’s difficult. It’s what got humanity to this point in history.
Maybe not biologically wired to cheat but we live in a society that encourages men to cheat if they want to. I remember this Yoruba song, in which t0he singer typically said and I am paraphrasing, “it’s ok for men to have numerous wives but if a lady should try having multiple lovers, she is a whore.” Let’s not forget that whether something is bad, wrong or okay is often decided by society.
I am not so huge on stereotypes. The whole idea of labeling people because they belong to a gender/race/nationality or whatever is not something I buy. I believe these issues are peculiar to individuals, not because they are male or female, white or black. You do what you do because you want to do it. You cheat because you want to cheat. The problem is with you. And I think that stereotyping in a way made riding on an atrocity more comfortable. How do I mean? I have no statistics backing this up, thus, this thought is open to criticism. Now, because it’s a popular belief that men are the cheats; it could be possible that some men would cheat because others are doing it. And maybe it makes them fit better into the narrative. Some guys brag about it. Also, the ideology makes it easy for females to hide and blackmail their male counterparts. I think this explains why “men are scum” trends more than “women are scum.” Though any member of both gender is a potential scumbag.
I do not think anyone is biologically wired to cheat. Our society just enables men more and that has provided the leeway that makes them think they are so wired. It’s a nurture thing.
Another problem is the level of censorship around sex. Society paints sex as something a man takes, and a woman gives. Also, men experience more sexual freedom and consequently, consider sex as a conquest rather than something to be enjoyed by two people. That is why they’re more likely to get dissatisfied with one partner.
All in all, I think changing the narrative begins with us. I know both girls and guys who enable their friends to cheat. When it boils down to it, it’s not a gender thing. People breach the trust of a relationship all the time and it is getting normalised. That is the problem.
Next week, the topic of discussion will be: What does it take for a long-distance relationship to work out fine? To be part of the next edition, send your response to 0813361345 on WhatsApp.
YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THESE HEADLINES FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE
The British Parliament at the Westminster Hall held a debate on ‘e-petition 554150, relating to Nigeria and the sanctions regime’ on Monday. The government of the United Kingdom has however responded…
The surprise visit made on Friday night by the leaders of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) to former President Goodluck Jonathan at his residence in Abuja triggered a stir in the major political camps, resulting in at least four possible theories…
After Two Years, Daddy Freeze Apologises To Bishop Oyedepo
Daddy Freeze whose real name is Ifedayo Olarinde has apologised to Bishop Oyedepo who is the presiding bishop and founder of Living Faith Church aka Winners Chapel…