I congratulate Fayemi for his comeback against several odds. I confess here that like many people, I was initially skeptical about the possibility of his winning even the primaries of his party. But like it is often wont to do, democracy proved me wrong. His second coming should be seen as a divine opportunity to complete many of the projects that he initiated in his first coming but which still lie largely uncompleted. Rather than spending it pursuing any vendetta agenda, it should be more of a cathartic redemptive period and opportunity for him, his lieutenants and the APC to worm their way back into the hearts of Ekiti people through the delivery of quality, people-centred and people-driven programs of inclusive governance that effectively balances popularity with populism. Work must begin in earnest. There is no time to waste. I therefore implore all Ekiti sons and daughters irrespective of political divides to support the incoming government to deliver on its mandate. Back to our discourse.
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Depression is not an unusual phenomenon among career women as they move up the ladder. More often than not, this is a product of frustrating bottled up emotions arising from some of the professional and socio-cultural barriers that they have to contend with. It is not uncommon for male professional colleagues to claim preference in the event of an executive opening. If the female contemporary is single, the male counterpart feels that she is not responsible enough to occupy an executive position, not yet having a family. If she is married, she is expected to pay more attention to her family than face the rigours of a challenging executive role. Where the female clinches the position and the male counterpart has to function in a subordinate role to her, she is often resented by the egocentric reticence of the male who believes that he should not be taking orders from a woman!
While some women, as a result of mental or cultural conditioning, may be comfortable with these stereotypes, others resist it vehemently. In the process, they internalize the attendant backlashes, leading to pent up emotions which, very often, spiral out of control. Consequently, they become overbearing and unduly assertive as a way of proving, defending and projecting their authority, a development that begins to fit them into the same narrative they were trying to debunk.
This is more pronounced when she has marital issues to contend with. These could range from a demanding husband who refuses to understand the changes occasioned by an upward career move. It is as if the indignation she suffers from the man at home must be paid for by the men at work! The frustration of the consequent backlash coupled with the drive to prove herself worthy, not only of her current position but of future advancement, is what has led many female executives into depression.
Unfortunately, in many cases, religion (not faith), has not helped matters. Many adherents of religion are too eager to literally use doctrine and dogma to flog the woman into submission in a way that states the only dignifying roles of a woman are warming a man’s bed, raising his children and practically being his slave. In the Christian faith to which I subscribe, many misguided men are quick to quote the verse of scripture that enjoins women to submit to their husbands as unto God. So, even in the face of sometimes life-threatening emotional and physical abuse, the woman is just supposed to patiently endure it all and do nothing, all in the name of submission. What they fail to recognize is that before the injunction to the woman, the man is instructed to love his wife in the same degree that Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. What this means is that the man should be so protective of the wife that he is willing and ready to die for her! There is nowhere in the scriptures that makes the man’s role conditional on the woman’s submission. In the same chapter of the Holy Bible is the instruction to both parties to submit to each other in the fear of God. Submission is first an attitude before it is an act. In using that word, the Bible never had subjugation or subservience in mind. In fact, it does specify that even though the woman may be the weaker sex, she and her husband are joint partakers of the grace of God.
Women functioning in executive positions have three major challenges on the job. The first is the ability to work within the gender-constrictive “acceptable” standards of behavior. Walking the tightrope between the need to be assertive and being easy to work and be with can be exacting even to the best of leaders. Added to this is the female executive’s drive to prove her competence to all and sundry. This is what leads to the second challenge which is that of being literally consumed by the job. The performance expectation placed on the female leader seems to be higher than that placed on her male counterpart. Every major decision she needs to take is akin to walking on banana peels since many of her male contemporaries half-expect her to fail, if only to justify their prejudices. She therefore has to work extra hard to perform in order to earn their respect.
A regular 40-hour week is an exception rather than the rule for the female executive who seeks to make a difference. In the process, she has to bend over backwards and sacrifice many things, sometimes including her most intimate relationships, in order to face these challenges. This dovetails into the third challenge that has to do with the management of her activities within time in a way that strikes a balance between her career drive and her private life where she also may wear other hats viz, mother, wife or even fiancée…continued.
Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!
and then