If you are going to burn bridges, only do so because they are a threat to your life in one way or another. What does it mean to burn bridges? To burn bridges with someone means to say or do things that could reduce any possibility of a return to the previous state of relationship.
It is an acknowledgement that the connection has been broken leaving little or no chance of reconnecting again on that level. How do you explain people who used to enjoy working together, talking to each other and “having each other’s back” now falling apart? Such is life, right? And it happens to the best of us.
Therefore, it is safe to say that a bridge in this context means the connection between two or more people that depicts how cordial they are. This connection can be on any kind of level. It could be business, romance, platonic relationship, or any other.
Is it okay to burn bridges in a relationship? Why do people burn bridges in the first place? The answers to these questions are quite subjective. They are subjective because a relationship comprises people with different personalities. So the answer cannot be a ‘one size fits’ all answer.
The answers are dependent on several factors like the personality of the people involved, the weight of the issue involved, and many other factors as they arise.
Note that, as earlier stated, there is no “one size fits all” answer. But here are a few:
3 reasons people burn bridges in a relationship
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Poor communication
Burning bridges could be result of poor communication between people. Someone can communicate something. If the other party misunderstands it, and the issue gets prolonged, it can get out of hand really quick because it has not been properly handled. This is one reason you see people who used to share a connection severing ties.
Therefore, in a situation where you don’t understand what the other party is communicating, ask questions. You will be saving yourself from stress, unnecessary argument, and rash decisions.
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To save themselves from toxicity
People can burn bridges in a relationship just to save themselves from toxicity. Imagine being with a business partner who keeps ruining your chances and making your efforts fruitless. Imagine having a friend or a partner who makes you feel less of yourself, tramples on your self-esteem. This person takes and keeps taking from you without giving anything in return, and does not cease to inflict emotional or physical pain on you.
In such cases, one will likely find ways to break free from that relationship. And when you do, you will not hesitate to burn the bridges that once connected you. This is so that they never get access to you anymore like they used to.
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Poor anger management
Another valid reason could be poor anger management. Every relationship has its disagreements to deal with. We are different people, and will not always agree on the same things or see eye to eye on the same issues.
However, it is important for both parties involved to manage it well and keep their anger in check by seeking to settle issues and find a way forward. When anger is not properly managed it could escalate and lead close friends that once shared a bond to become separated.
What next?
After burning bridges, what’s next? Moving on might be difficult, especially when you put into consideration the fact that you once had a connection with this person. You were once close, and created memories together.
If it was you who hurt the other party, it might be hard to forgive yourself. If it was the other party that hurt you, it might be hard for you to forgive him or her.
However, if the hurt came from you, you need to make amends by reaching out to the person in order to make things right. If they still want to stay apart, don’t hesitate to forgive yourself and let things go. But if it was the other party that hurt you, do not hesitate to forgive him or her even if they do not feel remorse.
A wise man once said, “Unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other party to die.” So, you’ll be doing yourself good by intentionally forgiving that person.
This is one hack that would work. Try to remember the good things that this person stood for in your life when they were still a part of it, and hold onto it. This might help you positively redirect your energy and focus from hurt.
Conclusively, what do you do to bridges? Do you burn them or mend them? That depends on you. But bear in mind that no matter what happens in your relationship with your business partner, your friend, your lover, or your family, be open to making things work.
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