A recent finding has shown that about 75 percent of fathers in Africa, particularly in Sub-Saharan Africa, suffer abandonment from their wives and children they hope to depend on in old age.
Some social experts have disclosed that behavioural factors causing fathers’ abandonment and sheer suffering in their old age are rooted in African culture itself. For example, some of these behavioural factors include a high preference for African mothers in the society where they are cherished in the Southwest.
The provision of special care for the elderly in old age differs from country to country and clime to clime. For example, Africans and Europeans are not similar in culture; as each family in Africa caters for their own elderly people in their space, it is government agencies in Europe that cater for all their elderly through the Home Care Policy.
Another reason why fathers are more prone to neglect is the fact that they are the ones who go to take care of the newly born grandchild, known as “Omugwo” in Igbo. Findings show that mothers are culturally privileged to travel down to take care of their newly born grandchild, leaving the father in hunger and loneliness. Most fathers suffer seriously in this regard when their wives overstay in the course of catering for their grandchildren. This, among others, has led to the untimely deaths of many fathers.
African fathers should drop the mentality of bullying their children and call it discipline. Some fathers go as far as tying children to trees while flogging them to stupor.
Fathers should stop being standoffish with their children. Fathers’ roles in the family go beyond being protectors, providers, and disciplinarians. They should also be accessible, approachable and compassionate toward their children. They should give them full attention and stop being abusive so that they can build perfect relationships with their children.
Fathers should build solid relationships with children and let them know that they are responsible as a father and they should forever protect them to achieve their future destiny.
These, among other approaches, to ensuring peaceful co-existence and well-being of the family will secure the tomorrow of thousands of African fathers and save them from suffering and abandonment in old age.
- Samuel Ogungbesan, Ogun State
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