Your partner needs to understand that you have not lost your interest in him or her, but that you are afraid of aggravating your pain. He/she also needs to feel that your feelings remain the same, but there is the need for you to go easy on some activities; s*x inclusive, otherwise, your condition could jeopardise your relationship.
Openness is important, talk about what works for you and what will work for both of you. It is not just the position that matters. Having s*x is more than a performing act. Lovemaking is about closeness, sharing, understanding, pleasure, fun, and orgasm.
There is the need for you and your partner to know that there are lots of ways people can find s*xual fulfillment besides penetration. Get creative and explore. You will find out that your s*x life suddenly becomes much more interesting and fun. Here are a few tips that can help you enjoy s*x despite backache
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Prepare well: For many people, s*x is something that happens spontaneously, they believe any form of planning makes it less valuable or less enjoyable. This could be true, but when you are dealing with acute or chronic backache, proper preparation for “the act” may be the only way to enjoy the experience. Nothing kills passion faster than a sudden onset of pain or the constant fear that the wrong movement will render you helpless on the bed.
Due to your constant pain, it may be difficult for you to relax and let go. To avoid this situation, try to relax the affected muscles by taking a muscle relaxant or painkiller before s*x. Or better still, have your partner join you in a warm bath or hot shower, or give you a gentle massage as part of your foreplay.
Try different positions: Plan exactly where to have s*x and in what position in order to avoid pain. You might need to try out different positions until you find the right one for you and your partner, where you both can be comfortable.
Prepare the room with cushions, towels and covers under the knees, head, or lower back for support. Remember, it is all about feeling relaxed so you can enjoy your lovemaking.
If it is the man who suffers from backache, you may want to try lying on a firm surface and using pillows to support the knee and the head. A small, rolled towel under the lower back may bring additional comfort. You could also sit on a chair with a back rest and have your partner straddle you.
If it is the woman who suffers from backache, the missionary position with the legs bent towards the chest may be worth trying out. Sitting on the edge of a chair with your partner kneeling between your legs is also a position that works for many women. You can also have your partner sit on a chair while you sit on his lap, facing away from him.
Finally, regardless of who suffers from backache, a side-by-side position may be the best. Both partners should lie on their sides, with the woman back towards the man. Then, he can enter from behind, which is normally a very comfortable position for both.
Do not rush: Plan your s*xual encounter with your partner so that you have all the time in the world. Enjoy what you are doing. Maybe you were never too much into foreplay. If so, now is the time to explore that part of lovemaking and get to know your partner in a new, sensual way. Choose sensuality over s*xuality as you may not be as vigorous as you once were.
Undress first: When dealing with backache, thoughtful preparation goes a long way, and not just when it comes to your position. In the throes of passion, we are not necessarily paying attention to anything besides our sensations.
We definitely do not pay attention to our bodies and how they move. Therefore, undress carefully. You don’t want to struggle to get your clothes off in an awkward position that may knock your back out.
Masturbation, oral s*x and s*x toys: If penetration is too painful for one of the partners, there are plenty of other ways to give your partner s*xual pleasures. Oral s*x, masturbation and dildos or vibrators are great ways to bring about s*xual fulfillment and spice up your s*x life.
The most important thing is to communicate openly about what you both like and do not like, and to explore and experiment with new ways of giving and receiving pleasure.
Make s*x fun: If you are up to it, why not bring some spice into your bedroom? The more you are distracted from your backache, the better. s*x raises the spirit and puts you in a better mood. Having an orgasm also relaxes all the muscles in the body, and if your muscles are relaxed, you will feel less pain.
With a bit of preparation and fantasy, suffering from backache does not mean that you are doomed to a life without s*x. On the contrary, you could find that experimenting with longer foreplay, toys, positions you would have never considered before can actually spice up your s*x life. Just be open with your partner and have fun!
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