On WhatsApp conversations this week, we are trying to unfurl a dilemma. Alisha wrote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years, and we are both 26 -year-old. We are from different social statuses, which my father is very particular about. Should we break up? Are we not meant to be together? Is fate that powerful?’
This was the premise upon which entries were made. Here are the pieces of advice for Alisha and anyone in a similar situation.
Well, my opinion is that they should talk to the father, ask questions and table their opinions to him. If he reasons with them, good and if not, they should move. Time is not a factor as they could equally meet someone better. My point is; family is most important, they are our strengths and equally our weaknesses.
In my opinion, I would like to know the stand of the mother ( I mean the mother of the lady) if she is in support of their relationship, then she can leverage on that to get the man to do their bidding. The lady should acknowledge and see things from her father angle’s then try to sell her choice to him with all humility, stressing the number of years they have been together. Beyond all of that, everything must be committed into prayer, fate is not stronger than prayer.
If you are so much in love with him, sampling a lot of opinions will do even more damage to your convictions. If you are really in love and you want to get married to this man, you have to flout your dad’s rule. Better still, you could just take your own money and use your connections to help him match up a little on the social status scale. If after all these, your dad is still not in agreement, it is time to take matters into your own hands.
If the lady is wealthier and the father is against the marriage, my advise to the lady is to leave him. A lot of people have gotten into relationships with rich people with the aim that they could make a head start through that. It is one of the reasons for the lazy, entitled characters we see around these days.
Given that age bracket and the time they have spent together if the man in this scenario finds the lady a marriageable partner, the father cannot stop their decision to get married. If he is so concerned about the social status of the man, then he should do something about it. He shouldn’t just threaten to stand in the way of their union because of his social status.
If her father asks her to back off because of the social class, it might as well be that he saw something else and he does not want to disclose it. I feel that for a relationship that has been ongoing for that long, any father would not just wish to terminate it because of a difference in social standing.
The father is not the one marrying the lady, he therefore cannot decide how their lives should work out. That said, love is not enough to keep a marriage or relationship working. In the years they have been together, there would have been a lot of ups and downs and the value system would have been solidified. The question the lady needs to ask is ‘all we have shared all along, it is worth fighting for?” If her answer is yes, then, she should fight for her relationship. If she feels it is not, then, she can concede to her father, knowing that she is doing that because of her own reasons In the end, it is her life, she might as well live it to the fullest.
The duration is enough for the couple not to have considered the possibility of the father declining or failing to give his blessing to the union. The social standing has very little to do in this case, it is usually more of compatibility, commitment and trust. The fact that the man is not where he wants to be does not mean he is never going to get there. Social status can change. The big question is, does he have the right potentials? Is he giving it all it takes? If he is just out to live a mediocre life, you can take it from me that the lady’s father will not take that and this might be the original cause of conflict.
If the man puts in the work, then cool. He might not be at her father’s level yet and the truth is that he does not have to make that his glass ceiling. After all, he is getting married to the daughter and not the father. The point is, if he really wants her, he should be willing to put in the work, first for himself and then for the family he intends to build. The lady’s father will definitely recognise hard work and will be willing to give his daughter out in marriage.
Next week, the topic of discussion will be :Is it right to trust a person (who is close to you) for the 2nd time even though you know that he/she has broken your trust before? To be part of the next edition, send your response to 0813361345.
YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THESE HEADLINES FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE
The Lagos State government on Friday announced that it will close the popular Ojota interchange up to the second bridge in the area for three months beginning from Monday, September 21, for some repairs…
Hundreds of followers of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Hon. Femi Gbajabiamila have continued to react to the twitter message on his official twitter handle: @femigbaja, on his engagement with his counterparts from Ethiopia, Ghana, Kenya, Senegal and South Africa on the planned collaboration in the joint task of loosening the stranglehold of foreign debt on our economies, ahead of the 2021 conference of African Speakers, scheduled to hold in Abuja…
The Senior Special Assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on Niger Delta Affairs, Senator Ita Enang has said that plans were on the way for Nigeria to sell petrol less than N100 per litre. Senator Enang said as soon as local refineries begin operation…
The All Progressives Congress (APC) has won 14 out of the 18 chairmanship seats in the just-concluded Ondo State local government elections conducted in the state last Saturday…
The National Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Prince Uche Secondus, has admonished the Directorate of State Security Service (DSS), to refrain from further harassment of former Deputy Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), Dr Obadiah Mailafia…
Veteran actor, Babatunde Omidina, famously known as Babasuwe has debunked the rumour of his death, describing the development as sad and uncalled for…
Daddy Freeze whose real name is Ifedayo Olarinde has apologised to Bishop Oyedepo who is the presiding bishop and founder of Living Faith Church aka Winners Chapel…