Securing our future through proper parenting

MOVING through the streets in our communities, we find representatives of each home fairly represented in various activities of livelihood. From office spaces to market squares, there is one member of a family or another taking roles and making decisions. The outcome of these interactions predicts the stability of the space they occupy or rather suggests the kind of home they come from. In our society, we play the blame game more often as we discover exigencies. The overall search for the culprit of this failure is eventually futile but the answer is not far from us. We pretend to address delinquencies in our homes by running to provide basic amenities for the family and fail to administer emotional training. The family is the smallest unit of a society, taking the foundation of all the manifestations found in our countries. So, parents are chief handlers of the nation at large. If the matter goes south, the parent is to be blamed because the failure in the home reflects clearly in the society. All societal challenges are products of failed homes; failed families are the responsibility of parents.

It is disheartening to realise that a father doesn’t care about how his children fare. He subjects them to hardship, blaming the society and fails to admit that he has brought these children to life based on how well he could take care of them and not on how well the society will offer. How do we explain that a 16-year-old child fends for his family from cybercrime? Where do we place the street urchins when their parents are alive? Education is the bedrock of civilisation and it plays a key role in equipping a society. However, it is an aberration to assume that education is expensive and a family completely surrenders to illiteracy. The tomorrow of a nation is rooted in the present roles of the family, in bringing their children to a place of sanctity and uprightness with justice and fairness without prejudice. No child is untrained: the manner of training is just the difference. At a tender age, what a child does is to observe. He observes the parents and acknowledges their acceptance when he replicates what they do. The child speaks as his parents or as who he sees as role model. He does everything similar to what he keenly monitors among his folks and other contributors, then he develops his habits.

Terrorism, banditry and kidnapping thrive because a unit of the society is not doing the needful on their children. Kidnappers are products of a home-they place an unwholesome lifestyle above the tranquillity of humanity. Indecent dressing that has plagued society is an evidence of an untamed appetite for mundane things. Dresses are designed to cover nakedness but unfortunately, the youths dress but to “kill”, exposing their cleavages for viewers’ discretion. At various parties, recently, we have had cases of the chief bridesmaids “dressing to kill”. This is not just about gender or even age. We have adults who indulge in this menace and still see nothing wrong with body-revealing dresses. Societal ills like gang raping and domestic violence emanate from homes with similar features. When a husband sees nothing wrong with beating his wife, the child takes after his father to batter his wife in the future. In a study, it was revealed that half of the cases of rape were as a result of provocative dressing by the woman and drug induced act by the man. This social error takes its roots from homes without sound discipline against amorous behaviour. What do you say of a parent that encourages revealing dresses for her teenage girl among her peers?

Parents are mute because the child fends for them as against their expectations to provide for the home. Some cultures in Africa approve of binge, where people drink to stupor to commemorate an event in the presence of their growing kids. What a shame! Adultery and fornication stem from ailing homes. An undisciplined husband and an adulterous wife will birth a loose daughter. Only in very rare situations would you find a decent child in an indecent home. The homes can’t be isolated from society, they are the determinant of the future. An untamed cravings for uncensored views will lead to sexual urge to the viewers. Parental guides are no longer at play whenever “adult films” are aired on the television set. Even when the show has advised viewers’ discretion, parents don’t see reasons to change the channel to a more viewers’ friendly programme. This will in a long term be replayed in the memories of this “innocent child”. Our kids are what they watch and see. We shouldn’t expose them to debauchery. At the early stage of a child, professionals in early child education advise that observation by the child is at optimum. This stage won’t be appropriate to expose these children to views that are unfriendly to their development.

Parents, exemplify what you want your children to become in your action: read books to their hearing, practise what profession you want them to embrace and profess how you want the future to look like. In some parts of Nigeria, some ethnic groups don’t see anything wrong in being vulgar. Uttering some harsh words may maim the development of some children. These children take after their models and it will not be fair for parents to contract their roles to a total stranger. Enrol your children in schools that align with your ideology. Select the group of persons who have a similar focus on parental upbringing with yours. Maids are helpful but don’t give all your roles to them. If you are busy, don’t let this affect your responsibilities as a father or as a mother. Parenting is a daunting task, however, don’t let the baton fall in your hands in this race. If you must subscribe to your satellite channels on your television, make them educational channels with a touch of cultural history and scientific features. Bonding between the father, mother and the children shouldn’t be a ceremony. It should portray what you stand for as parents and should be done frequently.

• Fashakin, an educator writes, in via [email protected]

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