One of the issues in marriage is sexual satisfaction. A lot of married people have been found guilty of infidelity as a result of lack of sexual satisfaction. This cuts across the gender line. It’s also a point of complaint by wives who see their husbands as being selfish in the act of sex. To such, a husband is tagged “use and dump,” in the matter of sex. This is because their experience is that the husbands only use them to satisfy their sexual desire.
Some husbands also complain about the same concerning their wives. This is attributed to the fact that their wives only want to have sex when they feel like, irrespective of the mood of the husbands. To such husbands, sex is procured on the altar of the mercy of their wives. That is why, according to the husbands after this order of sex at the mercy of wives, “I am tired, please leave me alone,” is a normal response to sex, from their wives. Some of the husbands do confess that at times, they resort to committing “rape” against their wives. After all, “body no be wood”. When nature calls, they have no choice than to obey.
This piece was provoked by this save our soul, (S.O.S) call:
“Kindly hide my identity. My husband always demands for blowjob which I always give to him but he has never for once reciprocated it. I told him that if he can’t give me a head then no more blow job for him. What he said break my heart he said “then I should be ready to lose my marriage to a more serious lady.”
Please what should I do? I don’t want to continue giving to his needs without being satisfied as well. Our marriage is five months old and his demands started as soon as we got married. Mind you he never for once gave me a head. Thank you”
Issues arising from the above:
- Married couples need to understand that mutual satisfaction should be the heart of their sex life. Every couple must work towards satisfying each other sexually. When this is understood and embraced, sexual friction in marriage will be an exception rather than the rule. It’s a known saying in my place that a hungry dog does not play with a well fed one. I think this fits in here. How can I be happy with you when I am not satisfied, while you are basking in the joy of satisfaction in the act of sex? It’s like having someone’s hope dashed, or someone’s expectation being cut short. It’s like going to the bank on payday, only to discover that one’s name is erroneously omitted in the pay roll!
- The only time sexual satisfaction is not mutually expected is in prostitution. It’s for monetary consideration. Whether one is satisfied or not is irrelevant and not mandatory. The most important thing is to make one available for the services being offered and paid for. The prostitute cannot complain that she is not being satisfied. In this situation, the man is the only one who can complain, and it is limited to stopping further patronage. But, in marriage, it’s a different ball game altogether.
Satisfaction must be mutual if sex must flow freely and frequently.
- Sexual styles must be targeted towards the mutual satisfaction of a couple. You cannot be forcing your spouse to engage in sex with you, using a particular style(s), if it will not be mutually satisfying. This will be resonating in hiccups. This is what is about playing out in the above referenced quote. Couples must work together for their mutual satisfaction in bed. Sex styles should culminate in mutual satisfaction of each couple, most of the time.
- A lot of couples don’t understand the nitty gritty of the act of sex. Thus, they cannot be optimal in performance. I am doing this sex enlightenment today because of what my husband and I experienced in the early years of our marriage. We did not have adequate information about sex, and as such we suffered on both sides for so long, until we realised that we ought to learn more about sex. I know this is the major problem in marriage. When you lack knowledge about how to engage in sex for mutual satisfaction, you will always have issues like we have highlighted here. Couples must therefore strive to achieve mutual sexual satisfaction in the marriage, in order to save ourselves from avoidable stress. How to achieve this mutual sexual satisfaction should be our focus next week.
My book, Enjoying Great Sex Life, is a master piece on this issue. You cannot be tired of reading it. 08112658560 Is the contact for details on the book. It’s a worthy investment for your marriage.
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