On Tuesday, April 23, Chief Olufunke Arthur-Worrey will be 97 years old. Aunty Funke, as she likes being called, is the oldest active member of the Lions Club District 404. A former president of the club and ex-president of the International Women’s Society, she is a Melvin Jones Fellow. The widow of Stephen Steady Arthur-Worrey QC, and mother of former Lagos Solicitor-General, shares her memories with KEHINDE AKINSEHINDE-JAYEOBA.
HOW does it feel to be 97?
I am so happy and I thank God for the grace. I can’t believe that I am 97 even in this country. I thank God for the country, the beautiful atmosphere and for meeting wonderful people to talk to. For me, I am humbled.
You have witnessed several generations, especially in governance. How do you compare then and now?
We can never compare. Times have changed. The world has changed. Nigeria has changed. We’ve tried everything in governance. We’ve had parliamentary government, we’ve had democracy. We thought it’s going to get better. But now it’s only God that will continue to make Nigeria settle down and be good for Nigerians, because look at what’s happening. I was just telling someone about the media. I don’t even want to listen to our news again. In those days, they would tell you historical things and tell you good things about Nigeria. But now the news is all about rape and other bad things. I don’t say it doesn’t happen but the way the media focuses on these things is very upsetting.
What can we do differently?
I think our media should report more positive things, especially on our youths. We have so many brilliant youths around doing so much. Go to the banks, go to the hospital, there are many youths taking up prestigious positions. But we don’t hear about them because the media doesn’t talk about them.
That’s why I was so happy when they were telling us about this girl that drove all the way from England. I’m so proud that for the first time after so many years, we are celebrating a woman.That is the girl we should celebrate as a Nigerian woman. You should focus more on people like that. We have so many of them. Nigeria is good and I love Nigeria. We are so brilliant and clever. There is nowhere in the world you won’t see Nigerians. If you go to China, you see our people dominating one area, all trading. We should focus more on that. The media should tell the world who we are instead of focusing on kidnapping, and so on.
Going back to the 60s, the leaders of that time ruled in their 30s and 40s. Is there any future for today’s youths?
Well, I will say yes and no. Our youths, like I said, are doing so much, but I don’t think they have that patience to get through with their plans. Look at youths and Labour Party during the last elections when (Peter) Obi nearly won. The youth took over the atmosphere but then look at what is happening now and they are all fighting one another.
I think we need to talk to our children. Advise them, cajole them to say ‘you have to be patient’. We know the future belongs to our youths, but they need to make up their minds that they want to take up the reins; to make Nigeria better. Nigeria is a great country.
Look at our women and their contributions to the economy of the country.
When you get up by 7 o’clock in the morning, you can buy beans. You go to Alaba in the morning, our women are there. Look at all the crabs and fish that we eat. Nigerian women are great. By now, we should have at least a woman vice president and women governors in about 20 states.
Do you think the political space in the country is fair to women?
No, the space is not fair. But we need to make up our mind that it is about time women took part in governance. We don’t want men to keep pushing us back. In business, women are doing great things, why not in governance?
Women must come together, maybe we have to start campaigning or lecturing our women to say it is about time. Women should support women. But then if a side is supporting women, what about the other side that doesnt even think women should get anything at all? There are some parts in the country that do not even recognise women at all, other than having their children and minding their homes. But then we are saying, women too should wake up and tell the men that we are here; we are ready to serve the nation. Men are not better than us. We are even more and more focused, we are more intelligent and we are the ones that can make things better in the country. Give us a year as president in Nigeria, things will definitely get better.
What are your thoughts on japa syndrome?
It is not only in Nigeria. It’s happening all over the world. When Trump was the president of America, he said he’s going to block Mexicans from entering America by building walls, but that didn’t stop people from moving. There is no way you can stop them. Even in England, people migrate in small boats. The prime minister said he’s going to stop people coming from India, from parts of Africa, etc. People are going to England because they want a better life. The same thing with our people here. They said they want a better life. I was speaking to one recently, because she couldn’t go. I said why did you have to leave your job? And she said she was fed up because there is no light, there is no transport and everything is a struggle.
I don’t support travelling illegally. If you want to travel abroad and can afford it, get your visa and go through the right process. Nobody will stop you because we also did that, but for you to take that risk of going to Liberia and Libya and crossing to Morocco, it is a dangerous crossing, to Italy. So many of them are dying. I don’t like it, but how do we stop it? Mothers need to talk to our children. Frustration is driving all of them and it is not their fault. Government should do more for the youth. We need more jobs for them. We need to make them feel at home. The government also needs to ensure security of lives and property.
Do you miss communal parenting of old?
Yes. Things have changed. In those days a child had about five mothers. If you dare misbehave, any one of them would correct you. You are too afraid to even report an aunty that spanked you for misbehaving because you know that if you tell your parents that, they will spank you more. Nowadays, children are taking their teachers to court. You dare not touch a child when children can sue their parents.
It’s as a result of Westernisation but there’s nothing we can do about it. What is it that we have that is not as a result of Westernisation?
How do we preserve our culture and history then?
The mistake we made is for the Ministry of Education to cancel History as a subject. Even as human beings, if you don’t have history, you are not living. One minister of education cancelled the study of history but I don’t know whether they brought it back. We can not do without history.
Another thing is that Nigeria lacks data. Data is also important in preserving history. Some children do not even know about Nigeria’s Independence Day. They Google it when you ask them. Technology is good but it shouldn’t take the place of preserving our culture.
A girl of about 13 years came to see me for the first time, sometime ago and she was just busy pressing her phone. I was the one doing the talking. Knowing history and knowing the original source of your heritage is important.
You look 60 at 97. There must be a longevity secret.
I thank God, my maker because He has been so good to me. You see when I was 80, I thanked God that I got there. I said ‘God, I’ve lived well, You can take me anytime but God had it otherwise.’
Then I clocked 90, and now 97. It has been God all the way. When I watch football matches on TV and I see many heads, I look at myself and appreciate God. I say who am I? So, I thank God. It is God Almighty and nothing else. Not what I eat. I’m a Christian, I believe in the God of Israel. I thank God He’s been there for me. I’m not rich, but I’m comfortable. Because I believe that He is there. I have seen so many wonderful things in my life. Beautiful things and I thank God for that.
I can eat crab. I can eat bone. When I go to parties and they see me eating and enjoying myself, they say Mummy you still eat beef? I tell them that when you’re 90, I hope you’ll eat beef like I’m enjoying myself right now.
What is your daily routine like?
I must confess. I am one of them that can’t do without listening to the radio. Radio Lagos is my favourite. I must listen to it by 6 am after my prayers. I also listen to the radio before I go to bed. I take my bath early in the morning or else I’ll be cranky. Days I don’t go out, I walk around my compound. Before I used to exercise but now the exercise I do walking around the house is enough. Sometimes, when I want to lift some things my body pulls me back and tells me you’re old now. Health-wise, I don’t do anything. I don’t go to hospitals. I only take the blood pressure drugs given to me about 40 years ago. I dare not tell my son, Fola, that I have a headache. He believes in doctors and if possible he’ll ask the doctors to give me injections. Most times, I quickly tell him I’m alright.
Tell us about your husband.
I had a boyfriend at that time but it was nothing serious. And then suddenly this man in England and ward of my brother, HO Davies came around because his father and my brother were friends and when the father was going back to Jos, he asked my brother to look after him.
And then they came back to Nigeria. My three sisters and my nephews were all together with me at Barclays Estate. And they kept mentioning his name, saying if Steady was here he would have done this or that. I was curious and asked ‘who is this Steady?’ They said ‘he is our son oo’.
And then one day they said Steady was coming to Nigeria because he was bothering them that he wanted to come to Nigeria. So he got a colonial appointment to be a teacher in Kebbi. Then, I didn’t even know anywhere. So, when he came I was like so Steady is human after all. When we lined up for an introduction and it was my turn, I introduced myself and he looked at me and said ‘you’re going to be my wife’. I was embarrassed. For a Nigerian girl, that was too forward. I told my sister-in-law that that man was too rude and I ran away. She told me that I need not be scared that that’s how they do in England; they call a spade a spade.
How did it go from there?
Then I never liked football, but Steady came and we all had no choice but to watch football because he loves football and generally he is a great sportsman. Before we knew it, he would pack the neighborhood children to play football behind Racecourse, we would all go to watch them play. He’ll go to Kingsway to buy chocolate and sweets for all. He’s always buying things like handkerchieves, etc. for Funke. It’s always Funke Funke. Eventually, it was time for him to go to Kebbi. We all gathered; all the children missed him. Me, apparently I don’t know what was happening to me but I was irritable, moody and unhappy. They were all watching me. After he left, I couldn’t sleep. My sister-in-law was just watching. After six months in Kebbi, he said he wanted to resign because he was bored over there. They gave him a big house but it seems empty. He said he’s going back to his teaching profession in England.
He came back to Lagos and we were together going places, to the museum, to watch football. Eventually, he told his family he wanted me as my wife and that he’s going back to England. They told him he had to meet my family at Abeokuta. Then, he went round with some people in my family to seek my hand in marriage. Then, he left for England in 1951 to prepare ahead for my arrival. I got to England in 1952.
What was your initial experience?
Mrs Solanke of OWASP organised people to welcome me in Liverpool. We left in February, you can imagine England in February, there was snow everywhere. When we came out from the boat, I saw people looking like masquerades and ran back inside because I was so cold and cried that I wanted to go back. But by the time I got inside the house it was warm.
We got married in 1952 in England. My husband was a teacher then but this time instead of London, he was sent to Billericay. That was where we had our two children. He later became a lawyer while I had my studies in Secretarial studies.
My husband was very good to me. And he was a good Christian. By him, I was encouraged to read the bible from Genesis to Revelation. He was made for me and I thank God for the times we spent together.
We were comfortable in England but my husband insisted we go back to Nigeria. He would lecture me about Nigeria. Eventually in 1960, we came back to Nigeria, in June. Nigeria was good then. But since the coup, things just got somehow. Then the population explosion also affected a lot.
He was a lawyer and a great sportsman. He plays football with children all over. But he was mad about cricket. Of all the sports then, I never understood cricket till tomorrow. He was a teacher, a lawyer and then the governor of Lions Club. He is restless and full of activities.
He has lots of children he teaches. Everywhere we go, he will have children all around teaching them. He is a true Nigerian. He loves Nigeria a lot. And he’s always proud of Nigeria. He loves Nigerian food as well.
You obviously miss him.
I miss him everyday. We were married for over 50 years. And when he died, I thought I would not last. He died about 12 years ago. We thank God for everything. Nigeria is good, whether you like it or not. When I travel, after a month I become homesick. Our food is good, very nourishing. And then the way you just walk around here in Nigeria, we have this freedom of movement. But then, what I like about England is that you never starve. There are food banks, where you get what you want for the whole week. It’s unlike here that you have to have your NIN and queue. Over there, before you get your SIM card, they know all about you. But here we have this and that, yet you still need to do more. There, you don’t have to go hungry.
Do you have regrets?
I don’t have any regrets. But the only thing I still think about till tomorrow is when I lost my daughter, Abiola. We were very close. That was the first time I left my children to go to England. She was 11 years and had just moved from Queen’s College from St Saviours School. She was a brilliant girl and very affectionate. I left for England on a six-month scholarship programme. Before leaving Nigeria, I had prepared all she would need for secondary school and we talked on phone, though not easy. After about two months, I just saw Ogundipe, our high commissioner then and Anike, his wife, coming out of the car. I was happy to see them. Shortly, my cousin, Mrs Shoremikun, also came and I was wondering. Then two more people came and they told me that I have to go back to Nigeria because my husband needed me. They gave me one excuse like that. I left England that same day with the dress I had on.
When we were coming from the airport at Liverton, they told me that my daughter was missing. I was told she went to the Israeli Ambassador’s beach house at Ibeshe. We are close with the family, we usually go to their beach house and we also invite them to our beach house at Takwa Bay.
Eventually, they told me that my daughter and other children went to spend the weekend with them. And they all were taken to Bar Beach. They said a storm came and swept them away. I was surprised because Biola is a good swimmer like his father. They told me that they were still looking for her and that I shouldn’t worry. Till date, they never found her.
I feel better now but for years, any time I see any child her age, I still hope it’s her. Anyway, her brother, Fola, has been there for me. He’s retired now from Lagos service. He was a solicitor-general and the commissioner for lands. Though retired, they still call him for advisory duties.
As the eldest active member of Lions Club 404, what is your experience?
I was the president of the Lions Club. It gives a lot of experience and opportunity to go round half of the world. The world belongs to Lions. Being a Lioness gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of people and to be able to help in one’s own way.
Lionism is to look after the needy and then you travel and meet people. You have this freedom in every part of the world once they hear you’re a Lion. Lionism is everywhere across the world. As the wife of the governor, we were treated like a proper king and queen anywhere we went.
They look after us and then we meet different types of people.
Lions do a lot. They look after people, they serve people. We get our funds from voluntary donations. Nigerians are kind. Although things are hard, people and organisations still give out to the club. We inform them how the money will be spent. District 404 covers the Francophone countries, Cameroon, Ghana and Nigeria. I have friends all around. At Christmas, I get cards from all over.
How do you advise young women, from your wealth of experience?
To live long, that belongs to God. Our women are doing well in businesses and professions. But some do not have enough patience. Once you get married, you need to trust your spouse. Patience and trust are key. Trust your husband and believe in him, though sometimes they misbehave. But you need to carry your marriage like an egg. You know where you’re going, you saw him and decided to be with him.
Men should also trust their wives, encourage them and respect them.
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