Marriage binding rules

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IN furtherance of our explanation in previous editions dedicated to Nikkah, it is necessary to spell out the roles ascribed to each of the two main stakeholders, the husband and the wife, in the institution of marriage in Shariah. The roles are sacrosanct for the husband and the wife. For instance, no option is left but for both to live and die as practising Muslims. None of them should practise other faiths besides Islam right from the very moment the two of them get married.

There is an authentic Hadith traced to Abu Huraeirah quoting the Prophet (SAW) in his admonition to the Ummah that they should not hesitate to give out their children out in marriage to those who are truely and evidently religious and of the best character. This Hadith speaks to the fact that Muslim parents must ensure that their children going into marriage do not blindly give in to modern trends where young couples believe that religion is a matter of choice and insignificant, all in the name of ‘free world’.

A pious Muslim would not stray into anything that may ultimately ruin a marriage. A Muslim couple who made promises to each other during courtship should not take such covenants for granted after Nikkah must have been consummated.

Husbands do vow to their wives that they would always take utmost care of them in terms of material needs and other necessities. Women also often promise to respect their parents-in-law when eventually they get married to their men. These are sacrosant pledges which couples must always strive to honour in all situations. It must however be stated that the position of the Shariah being propagated here does not, and cannot authenticate any shade of un-Islamic covenants. All promises or intentions must be in consonance with the dictate of Allah (SWT) as prescribed in the Glorious Qur’an.

Part of the things that come under this discussion is unconditional love between the husband and wife. The couple should have no limitation as to how to demonstrate and deepen their love for each other. It is a common responsibility the duo owe each other in marriage as Muslims. An authentic Hadith narrates a particular episode that gives credence to this position.

The Prophet (SAW) admonished Jaabir, one of his followers, as to the importance of engaging much younger women, particularly virgin ones, as wives, rather than the older ones. The Prophet (SAW) stated that young women have greater capacity and prowess at playing with their men as married couple. When a married couple play with each other at home, the Prophet (SAW) told Jaabir (R.A.) that the act naturally propels laughter from the man and his wife. [Narrated by Jaabir bin Abdullahi, Sources: Sahih Bukhari(5247) and Sahih Muslim (715) ].

Another responsibility that binds the husband and wife is the one which requires both of them to always dress attractively, in a manner that makes each of them inviting and desirous. But all has to be done with the fear of Allah (SWT) and in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW). In fact, there is hardly any limit to what the woman may clad herself in inasmuch as she does not go out of the confines of her husband’s privacy, and inasmuch as she does all this with the intention of pleasing her husband. Husbands, too, are equally allowed in the Shariah to adorn the best dresses to please their wives at home.

It must be emphasised that caution must not be thrown to the winds concerning adherence to certain acts which the tradition of the Prophet (SAW) does not permit a Muslim, male or female, adolescent or adult. For example, a female Muslim should not support her natural hair with attachments of any sort while she makes efforts to beautify her looks in the sight of husband. She is permitted only to plait her naturally grown hairs. In case she needs to do her hair in strands, she may use cotton threads, not the synthetic rubber materials. This is just citing a case in point.

It may not be possible to exhaust the list of those permissible and non-permissible acts of beauty, ranging from the classical and ancient to the very modern and trending, but the bottom line remains that the fear of Allah (SWT) should be the underlining factor in whatever one does.

Another binding role, or rule, is the right to take inheritance in the event of the death of the husband or wife. The wife is to take a portion of her husband’s estate after her husband’s demise, likewise the husband. Shariah is quite explicit about issues on inheritance.

Having mutual trust in each other as husband and wife is equally germane. Islam does not encourage marital relationship that is based on mutual mistrust and suspicion. The couple should be able to vouch for each other, being a duty binding on the couple as an entity in Islam.

Abdullahi Ibn Abass (R.A.) narrated the case of a disciple of the Prophet (SAW) who accused his wife of illicit affair with a fellow disciple. The Prophet (SAW) cross-examined the accuser and asked him to bring forth witness(es) to establish his allegation.

But this disciple disclosed to the Prophet (SAW) that he had no witness to testify to his allegation. The Prophet (SAW) reminded the disciple of the weight of the punishment awaiting the man if he would not substantiate his claim with witnesses. The disciple then resorted to invoking Almighty Allah (SWT) for a revelation to the Prophet (SAW) on the matter. And it was on this account that Surah An-Nur (Qur’an 24:6-9) was revealed to the Prophet (SAW). All said and done, the woman was declared a culprit, even when she had sworn out of shame. Islam allows for the dissolution of a union where mutual trust among the couple is questioned. Therefore, the Prophet (SAW) had to separate the couple mentioned in that Hadith.

Divorce in Islam is not encouraged, but it becomes a last resort as a matter of necessity. Unpleasant as it may seem, divorce is inevitable when things get to a head in a marriage. Even at that, divorce is not to be initiated by the woman in any circumstance. In Islam, it must be the husband who initiates the process of divorce. However, if the woman finds herself in a circumstance too difficult to bear with the man, Shariah allows her the privilege of taking permission away from the union.

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