Letting love guide us

ONE of the easiest ways to conquer fear and distrust is to love. It is often said that love can move mountains. Love that is selfless and giving is one that can make even the impossible, possible. Love gives hope, it bolsters faith and keeps it burning for as long as necessary. In fact, love is said to make the world go round. Yet, as important as love is, it is missing in our lives today. You might wonder exactly how that is but you need no serious searching to understand exactly what I mean; all you need do is look around you. One of the various ways this is manifested is in prejudice. Prejudice is an unfavorable opinion formed without knowledge, thought or reason. It acts without thinking and more often than not, it is unconscious.

Prejudice is all around us. It is in the way people relate with one another and it forms the basis for some of our actions. It is one of the leading causes of ethnic problems in Nigeria. We assume that just because a person comes from a certain part of the country, then she must act a certain way. We form opinions about other people’s culture without truly knowing them. We base our knowledge of a whole people on things passed down from generation after generation and take it as the law. We make one story the only story, we stereotype people. In a multicultural, multilingual nation with beautiful people, we let our prejudices affect the way we live. So much so that we have parents who would not dream of letting their children marry from a certain place or let them pick their closest friends from a certain ethnic group. It is so bad that we let it guide our choice of workmates, employees and associates. Rather than celebrating our differences, we reject them and treat each other with disrespect.

This reminds me of a story my aunt told that is all too common. She went on a trip to a different part of the country from ours for a job and at her first meeting with other colleagues, the question after, “What is your name?” was, “What part of the country are you from?” and she wondered why that should matter. It should not, it should never matter. A person’s background tells a lot about a person and may account for some of their character but unless you talk to them and relate with them, you can never truly know who they are. And just because a person from a certain ethnic group did something wrong at one point in time does not mean everyone from that ethnic group is the same. Presuming a person’s character based on gender, race or ethnic group actually limits you. It limits the friends you have and the people you meet. It makes the world small.

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Unity comes from recognising others differences and accepting them for who they are. Prejudice chooses not to even know who they are but love, love turns that around. It overlooks flaws and celebrates differences, it forgives, it opens its heart wide and keeps on giving, no matter who comes along. Love knows no barriers. It sees that no matter where we come from, we all eat, dance, smile, cry, dance, hurt; we all live and as long as we all breathe, we really are not that different. Love brings peace and unity. It patiently listens and learns, it diligently moves you to empathize and forgive. Love sees no colour, it only sees people and people, people are human. When love guides you, it affects the way you view the world. The way you see people around you and the way you relate to them. It asks that you believe no matter the ethnic group that we all are one.

Prejudice feeds hate. It separates and divides. It leaves room for others to attack, it leads to wars and crime. It assures us that we are right and ‘they’ are wrong. It feeds the ego and leads to pride. Love on the other hand is humble and kind and giving and leads to peace and unity.  Imagine a world where you are not afraid of being judged for the way you dress or the way you speak or where you are from, imagine a world where there is no war or fighting caused by hate. Imagine a world where we are free to marry whoever we love and be friends with anyone regardless of where they come from. Imagine a world where no one ever asks where you are from. Imagine a world where no culture is superior or better and there are no Twitter wars about anyone being better than the other. Imagine a world without prejudice. Is it possible? You might wonder. Well it starts with me and you, it starts with love. Instead of being guided by colour or race or any other opinion you may form about people, why not let love guide you? You may be surprised at what you would learn just from opening your heart wide.

• Wale-Olaitan is of the Faculty of Education, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Nigeria.