ONE issue of affliction in marriage is concubine affairs. It has done more evil than good to marriages, such that many lives have been ruined, and many destinies aborted. One of such cases was that of the couple who died recently due to the activities of a concubine in the marriage. The wife drove herself to death in a hot pursue of her husband’s car, to catch him red handed in infidelity, while the husband died due to the shock of his wife’s death. No one is talking about the concubine anymore, who may be on the prowl for another victim in a marriage.
It’s obvious that concubine affairs are a serious issue that require urgent attention, at least, for those who care. And the truth is that we all should care, due its many terrible consequences for us all.
There is a popular saying that, if the home front is in trouble or in disarray or is peace deficient, the outside provides succour for the actors in such a home. Let us therefore secure the home front with concubine treatment or therapy. This means, putting in place at the home front, what makes the concubine affair to tick or thrive. These include the following
- Treat your spouse with utmost care and honour. Asa le jeje be eniti ko robinrinri, meaning, someone who treats a side chick or concubine with utmost care as if he has never had a lady in his life. The paparazzi you deployed to care for your concubine: the daily round tripping you give to your concubine, while the wife and children, suffer lack of care and attention; the financial and moral support deployed to the business and personal care of your concubine, while your wife is doing everything by herself, as if she has no husband. Little wonders some wives now call themselves “Living widows”. After all, their lives are not better than that of a widow. In fact, it is worse in the real sense of it, because real widows get attention and sympathy from others, whereas, the living widows are assumed to be married with care. That is why wives in this situation are referring to themselves as “Living widows, so that at least, they can also secure helps like that of the real widows. Do you now blame a living widow, for wishing her husband death? Of what use is a useless husband, staying alive?
The pounded yam treatment you give to your concubine, as against the garri affairs for your husband. Someone is smiling, going down memory lane.
- Secure your spouse with sexual prowess as being done to your concubine. Do you realize that if you give half of the sexual prowess you give to your concubine, to your spouse, concubine affairs will be drastically reduced if not eliminated? Stop making sex a weapon of negotiations rather a love making affairs. Prepare yourself for sex with your spouse, like you do for your concubine. White and clean undies, strong erection with perfumed bedroom and your active participation in the act of sex, with great sex styles and skills.Readiness for sex with the concubine, as against a reluctant attitude with your spouse.
- Stop giving your spouse attitudes, since you don’t treat your concubine like that. Open up and resolve your issues with great dispatch, just like you do with your concubine.
- Finally, be intentional about making your marriage to work, by rising above marital challenges. Steve Jobs said “When you are in love, wonders happen. But once you get married, you wonder what happened.” I believe this conclusion of his was based on the marital challenges in marriage. Any couple who wants to enjoy marriage must rise above those challenges; otherwise the couple will forever be in wonder about themselves. Show understanding with yourselves; be deliberate in keeping your home rancour free. Realize that your concubine also have issues like your spouse. The only difference is the status: one is a wife or husband, while the other is a concubine. The stake differs for each side of the divide.
- Chase your spouse like he or she is your concubine. It shows that you don’t want to lose her or him. You are thus careful in dealing with her or him. Imagine how great your marriage will be if you are as careful with your spouse, as you are with your concubine.
- Befriend your spouse like you do to your concubine. Be gentle with her or him. Handle her or him with utmost care and honour. If concubines were wives or husbands, you wouldn’t look in their direction. If you see his or nakedness in totality, you will know that she or he is not better than your spouse. The only difference is the covering of the nakedness.
- Don’t talk down on your spouse. Communicate with your spouse reasonably as you used to do in courtship. Stop behaving as if courtesy behaviour is no longer necessary, now that you are married. It is a life principle that, to keep what you have, requires doing over and over, what you did to get it otherwise, you will lose it. So, don’t stop the respect and honour you give to your spouse during courtship. Continue to be nice to him or her, even now that you are married. It should be a lifetime affairs, rather than a courtship thing.
It is a fact that doing those things highlighted above is quite challenging, but we must be intentional in bringing them to the table of our marriage. After all, what is the difference between monkey and gorilla? If you can do it for your concubine, you should be able to do it for your spouse. All it requires is will power of the couple, and the deed will be done.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books, “Enjoying great sex life, and How to help your wife enjoy sex.” Contact 08112658560 for details.
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