ONE concept that has been over-used and has lost its savour and real meaning is ‘love’. Many claim they love but never represent the true meaning of love. To others, love implies strong feelings of affection. However, there are disagreements about its precise meaning. One person’s “I love you” might mean something quite different for another.
Going by what love is, acts by people in our present world have shown that the concept should rather not be used even by couples as its meaning is not depicted. It is stated that in our present world, you only know who you love not who loves you. With the level of abuse, ritual killing and divorce rampant in marriages and relationships, love seems to be in abeyance.
This therefore brings the overarching question: Is love actually a one-sided concept, where you love and don’t know who loves you?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert said on the issue:
To some extent, love is a one-sided concept in our present world. However, it is not totally correct to say you know who you love not who loves you. In the world of love, action speaks louder than words. In other words, you can know who loves you through his or her actions and attitudes towards you as a partner. Hence, it’s safer to say that love is a two-sided concept in our present world.
Yes I know who I love; I also know who loves me. At work, in my neighborhood, even in the church, I may not know those who truly loves me, but in marriage, I should know if my spouse loves me or not. By the things he embraces which can move the marriage forward and those things he shuns which can be detrimental to the marriage. I know if he loves me or not. With the sacrifices and choices he makes per time, I can tell if he loves me or not. Whether he verbalizes the phrase ‘I love you’ or not, I can tell by his actions if he truly loves me or not.
In the world today, the word love will come to mind with so much expectation. That’s why if you are not looking good, good in bed, ready to spend lavishly, ready to lie, one may remain single as it will be that you don›t have anything to offer. Before you can say you love someone, you must have something in exchange for the love. Isn’t it supposed to be love for love?
Wrong, you know who you love; you know who loves you unless you are willfully blind. Love speaks.
To the extent that some do not count “not yet-successful” as a factor in intimacy, affection or marriage, 90 per cent in today’s world loves because of other’s already attained success rather than ‘surulere’ (patience). Sometimes it works out and the success is sustained while many times the initial one-sided love consequent upon materialism, backfires.
Some kept managing the situation but without love, without happiness – “had I known”, it wouldn›t have been one-sided. The ultimate advice is that, love should be both sided irrespective of the current situation. Such is always sustainable because it’s better to rise from scratch rather than fall from grace!
Apart from one sided love or so, partners can’t love each other equally. One person’s love will be more than the other person. And nowadays, people tend to go for someone who loves them rather someone they love with the hope that with time, they will meet the person there.
The concept doesn›t go down with me. It is not true. A person who doesn’t love you won›t even think of marriage and while in a relationship you will see the indicators that this person doesn›t love you as claimed. Love is sweet when you marry your best friend. Someone who sees you more than you see yourself.
Although with all this Instagram love and the likes, people tend to use that to measure their love life forgetting that some things don›t appear as they seem.
To me love has always been one-sided right from day one. I say this because in the early ages, women were given out to great warriors and strong men with love out of the consideration; and as time went, they begin to develop love for each other.
Now in this present day, love is based on achievements, wealth, status etc. People love each other because of what they see, not naturally.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: How to deal with overly suspicious spouses?
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