What informed your choice of career?
I don’t know. I am somebody who likes other people and lately, I have discovered that I also want to help myself. I wanted to be a doctor when I was young but my parents said that won’t be ideal for me because of my temperament. I was very forgetful. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so, I decided to study my favourite subject; French and got a job in a French Bank when I came back home. I was doing corporate affairs at the bank and I discovered that I had a flair for organising things and making everything go smoothly. People realised that I had flair for it as well and were asking me to help them. I found it very fulfilling helping other people through my organisational skills. When I discovered there is a discipline called organisational development, I went to study it to become a professional. I have been doing Organisation Effectiveness ever since.
You are a consultant, an entrepreneur and activist. What is motivating you to do all these things?
I want to be happy. Though we cannot define for ourselves what happiness is, for me, happiness is being fulfilled and having peace of mind. I find it very fulfilling and it gives me a sense of achievement to help other people. I help people not by dashing them money but when they come to me I ask them questions, put them under a little bit of pressure and they are able to help themselves. I have a sense of fulfilment that what I am doing is touching people’s lives. If I see things that are going wrong and I turn my back to it, I can never have peace of mind. I believe God put all of us on earth for a reason, so, when He shows you some things, He wants you to do for Him. I don’t think you should turn your back on Him. When there was problem in education, I joined hands with other people; we started a school, some people’s children were kidnapped from school they could not do anything about it, I did by putting pressure on government so I joined BBOG and I am one of their coordinators in Lagos. I joined WISCAR to help young, talented and hardworking girls on how to break barriers.
What price did you pay to get to where you are today?
My parents did not bring me up to think life is easy. In fact, they brought us up to know that life is hard. They brought us up to know we have to make sacrifices and that people will betray us but that should not discourage us. I knew it was not going to be easy so I was prepared. There are ups and downs in life. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you will fail. Time is a major cost and with age you learn how to manage your time so you can remain healthy.
How were you able to combine the home front with your career?
I was able to combine my career with the home because I have a supportive husband. I was working when he met me; he knew I was not looking for any man to be my provider. He is the provider but he knows his wife is not looking at his wealth. He knew my ambition. I was already an activist before we met. There are many things I do that he is not happy with but we always sit down and have lots of conversations. We have to sit down discuss and I have to convince him where he has doubts and concerns to allow me to do what I want to do and I have to do everything to ensure that I keep myself safe. I have to make sure he is aware of where I am at every moment. I involve him in what I am doing and inform him about everything that is going on. You have to carry your husband along. You have to fight your battles inside the house to get him to your side. Once he is on your side, he will also bring all his resources to support you. There were times in my career where I got calls from my husband that I should be home in 10, 15 minutes and I had to obey. That is what marriage is all about. Me too, I make demands on him some times, it can’t always be one sided. A supportive husband should be able to count on his wife’s support. He makes demands on me and harasses my life and I do the same to him. It is not easy but it is doable. If you have a supportive husband, carry him along in everything you do. If you marry a man who is not supportive of what you do, you are going to live in misery.
Nigeria recently joined the world to celebrate women. Do you think Nigerian women have made much progress?
I think Nigerian women have come very far. I was told there is a world survey of pay gap between men and women and that Nigeria is one of the countries that do not have pay gap. In Nigeria, employers are more concerned about your competence and how soon you will want to go on maternity leave after you are employed and not about how much to pay you. We also have a lot of women leaders now in Nigeria more than before. Where we are having issues is in our culture. Our culture still does not defend us. If your husband is beating you, your community and religious leaders won’t call him to order, they will only tell you to be patient and be more obedient. We don’t have any support culture. Things like female genital mutilation, widows’ rites are cultural. Sexual harassment is epidemic, but you can get support for that from other women. Women who have experienced it can teach you how to keep yourself safe; like not going to your clients or boss’s hotel room alone.
There is the belief that women are their own enemies, what do you have to say to that?
It is not true. As women, we see ourselves as sisters and we believe we are all the same. So, when a woman progresses and becomes a leader, they don’t know that automatically the relationship has changed, they still want to see her as a sister and by doing that in front of men, they are disrespecting her. It is not deliberate at all. Whenever we tell them this they usually say that they did not realise it. So, we let them know they should respect them because the men are watching. The second thing is that women are very competitive, so they are often afraid that other women want to take their men. While a man will invite another man to his home, some women may not want to invite other women to their home so their husband won’t make passes at them. And that will cause conflict among the women so there are some structural causes like that. That is the reason they think women are not supportive of each other, it is not true. A woman is always ready to help other women progress and not to make excuse for them or condone laziness from them, they think she is wicked. Yes, we are sisters but at work, we all have to deliver.
Like four years after the kidnap of Chibok girls, another incident occurred at Dapchi. Why do you think it happened again especially since it is another party that is in power now?
We started BBOG so that it can never happen again. That is what people don’t understand. I don’t understand why they thought we were trying to make government look bad. We saw that what happened to the Chibok girls could happen again and the perpetrators can get away with it. How can we live in a society where our children are not safe in our schools? So, we started BBOG so that it can’t happen again, so you can imagine how we are feeling now. When we started BBOG, we made noise so that government can get up and start rescuing the girls but we also had strategy sessions and planting what needs to happen. And certain things happened, there is something called the Safe School Initiative that came up, money was raised for it. There was North East Intervention Fund to rehabilitate and build houses. You know the cause of Boko Haram is poverty, so, we were happy government is doing something to stop the causes so that people will stop joining the group again and everything will die down. On our part, we said for the people whose children were kidnapped there should be a communication desk that the parents can call to get the latest and also have plans for rehabilitation when the girls are rescued and have a plan for coordinated response. We made the document and presented them to former President Goodluck Jonathan and President Muhammadu Buhari. Some state governments took notice of the document. I became involved in Bring Back Our Girls because my daughters went to boarding school. Every time, I think of them, I think of my daughters, I feel like one of their parents that what will happen to me if someone carries one of my girls. I want every Nigerian to think that way. Ask yourself, what can I do so it won’t happen again? I am doing this because I am educated. They are denying those children of a bright future. I think it is unfair and wicked.
and then