I wrote last time on the two legs of respect and love in marriage. I concluded that husbands and wives, who want a stress-free marriage, must learn how to leverage on the two legs, in order to achieve that and to stand strong in the marriage. Below is my take on it.
Respect leg
A wife who wants to deploy this effectively, must do so in the following ways:
* Idolise her husband among men. Like I got it recently from Facebook posts of people when celebrating their birthdays or wedding anniversaries. You can call your husband, my king; my number one fan; my life reason; my joy; etc. A lot of these abound on social media. Saying all that about your spouse is motivating him to spoil you in the best way possible. Words are power tools for motivation. So, learn to call your husband a good name, instead of calling him a horse. I call him, “honey”, and he is ever so sweet towards me. Imagine if I have been calling him, “pepper”. God forbid bad thing!
* Adore him. That is, you make him feel important. Even mad fellows, when adored, CALM DOWN momentarily. That is why a popular admonition in my part of the world is that, “call a mad fellow, ‘the bridegroom!!!’, so that you can have a safe passage around him.”
Adoration brings a husband to the point of giving his best to the person adoring him. That is the secret female concubines have learnt. They practically worship their victim-men, and they are handsomely rewarded for it. So, many times, it is not the herbalist charm that is at work. Someone, somewhere has learnt the secret/wisdom of adoring her man. They simply massage the ego of the men in their lives.
How I wish wives are wise in dealing with these husbands of ours. There is no telling how much benefits a wife will derive from ego massaging her husband. That is a key female concubines have been using to trap many husbands. While their wives are tongue lashing them, the side-chicks are busy sweet tonguing them. The end result is the many run away husbands in town, who are being kept by the side-chicks for their own maximum enjoyment. While their wives are “doing” strong head, the side -chicks are busy using “soft” head of adoration. Before one calls Jack Robbinsin, someone’s husband will just CALM DOWN with the”soft” headed side-chicks. Period ( Ni o ba tan).A word is enough for the wise. So, she who has ears, let her hear what adoration is saying to the WIFE.
* Honour him. I know a pastor’s wife who serves her husband with the best dish bowls in her house. What most wives do, with the collaboration of their husbands, is to reserve such beautiful dish bowls for their guests. So, when guests come, especially the so-called special ones, they are served with the best dish bowls, with the best dishes, and in the best way. Who says your husband does not like or deserve such best treatment? Oh, you are waiting for him to show you love before you respect him with honour? We passed that stage last time I wrote about respect and love. You don’t wait for your spouse to be responsible; like my mentor, Daddy Odun Orioke is ever saying, “you do the right thing..” Rather than wearing the same trouser with your husband, let him wear his trouser, while you wear your own skIrt.
Not only in dish bowls should you honour him. Honour him with what and how you serve him. Instead of always telling him that his food is in the kitchen or on the table, learn to invite him to the table. It is an honourable thing to do for him. Instead of leaving the whole cooking and serving to your house helps or chefs, deliberately take time to honour him from time to time in such ways, despite your busy schedule as the C.E.O in your organisation. Do I hear someone saying, “Do you want to kill us?” Are you not dying already with the stress you go through with your husband? You better CALM DOWN, so that your husband can CALM DOWN with you and the children, instead of him going outside to CALM DOWN with bad company ( guys; side chicks).
* Package him. This has to do with the public presentation of your husband to others: children, your family, in laws, friends, colleagues etc. Learn to speak glowingly of him. People will never treat your husband better than you present him. Keep his secrets with you and you alone. Every couple has secrets, why expose yours when others are keeping theirs. Let them know he is doing his best, and will always do his best in fulfilling his family responsibility, instead of presenting him as an irresponsible idiot. You need to hear what some children say about their fathers. No thanks to the mothers The truth of such packaging is that he is highly motivated to be responsible, or be more responsible. From time to time, appreciate him publicly for his responsible acts towards you and your children. Birthdays, Wedding Anniversary, and family gatherings are perfect platforms for showering such encomiums on your husband.
In closing this write up, let me state that nothing is too much to do as a way or act of respect for your husband. Whatever you know or discover to work for him, do it, and you will be handsomely rewarded with a stress-free marriage. It is my desire to see us all enjoying a stress-free marriage. I will take our husbands through the love leg next time. One legged marriage does more evil than good. It’s better one stands on two legs, instead of one leg. I hope I am making sense to husbands and wives.
My book, enjoying great sex life is still available for sale. Please contact me for details on 08112658560.
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