When it comes to people you trust, you can get tempted to suspend protocols for them because of the factor that is present in your relationship with them – trust!
It’s not out of place to trust people, but when it comes to certain issues that protocols have to be in place, it would be better to leave them as they are. Why? In order to avoid stories that are laced with pity; the average Nigerian will say stories that touch.
You need to understand that the people you trust are human, and they will not always have it perfect. There’s the tendency to let you down sometimes, and that’s because they have flaws too.
There’s a need for you to give room for allowance by putting sentiments aside sometimes, and being realistic in your approach to them.
Have you heard about relatives duping their kin or running off without keeping to their side of the agreement? Yes, these things happen even with other people that are not family that you trust so much.
No one is advising you to start walking on eggshells and start acting all suspicious. All that is being said is that you should employ the use of protocols when it comes to certain issues that deal with trust
It could be money, a business deal, a random agreement, or anything.
How to avoid being duped by people you trust
1. Separate business from personal life
This point cannot be overemphasized. Business in this context does not necessarily refer to your buying and selling of goods and services. Don’t ever mix business with pleasure, regardless of who is involved.
2. Be attentive enough to spot manipulation
In order to do this, you need to put sentiments aside intentionally. You need to open your eyes to see clearly and be open to judging things objectively. Do you know the same way you’d relate to a distant colleague who wants to borrow money from you? You’d try to follow the due process even though you ‘retrying to help. Exactly. Implement this too when it comes to people that you trust.
3. Draw up a legal document
We’ve heard stories about husbands duping wives from their joint accounts. The man is made the sole signatory to the account and then carts the money away, leaving the other party stranded and feeling hopeless; and vice versa.
In a case where someone would like to borrow from you, you could draw up an agreement that clearly states the date of release, the purpose for which the money or property or whatever the subject matter is to be given, and the date of return. Other necessary information needed to draw up the agreement should also be in place.
4. Have a witness
For people you trust to dupe you, it means they are being manipulative and have played on your intelligence. The more reason you should have another party in the room with you while you’re making important decisions with them.
5. Put technology to use
If you think that you don’t want to hurt their feelings by going through strict procedures or you don’t want to make them feel like you don’t trust them, you can always put technology to use. However, if you are in a private place, you shouldn’t do it without their consent. Well, if you are in a public place, do it by all means. This way, you’ll have evidence against them in case they want to act mischievous, take your kindness for granted, and stab you in the back.
6. Ask intelligent questions
Ask thorough questions before striking a deal with them. Intelligent questions that will make them prove that they will stay true to the course till the end and not deceive you.
Don’t hesitate to ask or make the mistake of assuming that they understand what you have in mind. Assumption, they say, is the least form of knowledge. Ask instead of assuming.
7. Make room for allowance
When it comes to the issue of giving money to the people you trust, you should make room for allowance by giving them money that you can easily let go in case they do not keep to their side of the agreement.
8. Listen to your inner voice
To be able to do this objectively, you need to ensure that sentiments are out of the way. This is so that you can hear the voice within without bias or confusion.
9. Learn to say no
If you are not willing to help, maybe as a result of the fact that the people you trust have a history that cannot be easily forgotten, then you should not hesitate to say no.
You should also back up your response with valid reasons to convince them.
10. Entitlement mentality
If after interacting with people you notice that they exhibit the traits that show that they are feeling entitled to whatever you do for them,; by all means, avoid their request.
Finally, in all you do, while relating with people you trust, ensure that you observe protocols and keep sentiments in check.
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and then