The folly of misplaced aggression

I still remember it like it was yesterday. His mother had been on compulsory bed rest from the time his pregnancy was seven months. It was as if the pregnancy was not going to make it to term. Even the doctors were very worried and they did not hide it, largely because they could not even if they wanted to. But God almighty took over. In spite of the various stages of complications, the baby was delivered at the appropriate time by caesarian operation. When he was handed over to me, I was overwhelmed by an admixture of feelings. I did not know whether to laugh or to cry. As I looked at the bundle of joy and reminisced on what we had been through in the two months preceding his birth, I could only break into singing. That was when the full meaning of the name God had given me for him even before he was conceived hit me. Jesujoba. Jesus reigns. I had never heard that name before then and I felt a little awkward when it was first laid on my heart. Now it made sense. That was 30 years ago today. Please join me in wishing my son Jesujoba a happy birthday.

Have you ever made a fool of yourself? I guess we all do from time to time. At such times, what do you do? Laugh at yourself or nurse a mini-depression? Very often, even teachers become victims of what they teach against! I always teach that assumption is the lowest form of knowledge and leaders should never take anything for granted. That postulation is still true because what happened to me a few years ago in London is what happens when this rule is broken.

I booked a flight to the USA that also involved a few days layover in London. On the day I was to leave for Washington DC, for some strange reason, I assumed that my flight was for the following day. I knew my flight was for a particular day of the week but I made a wrong assumption on the date the day fell on! On that assumption, I confidently went online to take advantage of the 24-hour pre-flight check-in service. My curiosity was aroused when the computer informed me that I could not use the service. When I tried to find out why, I discovered that the flight I was trying to get on had left two hours before what I thought was an advance checking in session. My initial reaction was to panic. I felt so disappointed with myself. But I had a rethink and just burst out laughing at my own foolishness. That helped me to clear my thinking process. Thereafter I felt better and mustered the courage to call the airline and explain my dilemma. They graciously agreed to put me on the next day’s flight on the condition that I paid a penalty.

There is another dimension to this. How do you feel when, after feeling like a Messiah, thinking you were helping or being good to someone, you discover, after you had betrayed emotions of exasperation before them that in actual fact they were the one helping you? Or you vented so much anger on a subordinate or even your spouse or child, only to discover later that they were innocent and totally undeserving of your aggression. How did that discovery make you feel?

A young lady got to the airport to board a scheduled flight only to discover that the flight was going to be delayed by several hours. Having cleared security and being already in the shopping arcade located in the boarding area, she knew she was in for a long wait. She entered the airport bookstore and bought a book to keep herself busy while waiting. She also bought a packet of biscuits. She then settled down in an armchair in the airport to rest and read while snacking on her packet of biscuits. She placed – so she thought – the packet of biscuits on the armrest that separated her seat from that of a man who was also waiting for his flight. Then she brought out her book and started reading. The man in the next seat brought out a magazine, opened it and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: “What cheek! I could just punch him in the face. The least he could have done was ask!” Each time she took a biscuit, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but because it was a public place, she didn’t want to cause a scene. The ritual continued until there was only one cookie remaining. Then she thought: “Ah… What would this glutton do now?”

As if he read her thoughts, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into two, giving her one half. What? That was too much! This was the height of impudence. She was livid with rage! Before she could decide what expletives to use on the ‘scrounging’ stranger, her flight was called. In a rage, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place. As she sat down inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses. To her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched and in fact unopened! As she realized that she had made a mistake, she felt so ashamed! All the while, her biscuits were kept in her purse. Her anger at the perceived presumptuousness had kept her from knowing that she was actually the scrounging party! While she had been seething in anger, thinking that she was sharing her cookies with him, it turned out it was the man that shared his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter. Unfortunately, there was no chance to explain herself or to apologize.

Scriptures teach us that a generous soul shall be made fat. Too many times however, we are so absorbed in our own needs and feelings that we become nasty to people who were doing us a favour. No matter how nasty you feel about any situation, rein in your feelings especially when it involves other people. There are too many people eager to say what’s on their mind instead of minding what they say. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had negative thoughts towards or made certain unkind statements about someone only to discover that they were actually getting your back all the while?

One great rule of meaningful living is “Always make your words sweet. You never know when you may have to eat them!”

Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!

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