Are you worried that your child is shy and not making many friends? Could it be that he or she is shy or introverted? It’s possible to think that these two words are interchangeable. This is not true.
Introversion is a personality trait, while shyness is rooted in anxiety during social encounters with unfamiliar people. If you want your child to thrive in social situations and you want to see them being comfortable when interacting with others, the good news is that being shy can often be outgrown. There’s a lot you can do as a parent to help. Here are a few simple tips to help your child overcome shyness.
1. Prepare them for new places and situations
Seeing new places with unfamiliar people can be overwhelming to shy children. You can help your child ease into these situations by discussing ahead of time what he or she should expect and slowly introducing him or her to the new environment.
For instance, if your child is moving up to a bigger school, you could help him or her overcome shyness by allowing him or her to meet the teachers and visit the classrooms before the first day. You can also do a quick tour around the school or campus, as the case may be, to give him or her a feel of the environment without the pressure of being around other kids. You can also help your child by role-playing what he can do or say when meeting other kids.
2. Give them opportunities to express their feelings
Just like anyone else, shy children can have some trouble expressing their feelings, which can lead to them feeling misunderstood, which can result in difficulty releasing pent-up emotions as they grow older.
As a parent, another simple tip you can use to help your child overcome shyness is encouraging them to communicate their feelings by creating activities that allow him or her to speak up about how they feel about a situation. You can do this by asking your child(ren) to express him or herself creatively through drawing, or by using characters to tell a story about a similar situation to the one that he or she is in.
This will help your child feel that he is being heard and that he or she can be comfortable sharing what he thinks and feels with others.
3. Praise and correct your child’s behaviour in private
Have you ever seen a parent scold their child in public? It feels uncomfortable to anyone who is watching not to talk of the child on the receiving end. The last thing a shy child wants is to be in the spotlight. If you need to address or correct your child’s behavior, it is best to do it in private.
Likewise, If you want to praise a shy child for good behavior, he or she may likely appreciate it more when it’s done in private. Whether the attention is positive or negative, both can be embarrassing for your child when attention is given in front of others.
4. Teach your child to be polite despite being nervous in any situation
Teaching your children how to appropriately respond in social situations, despite feeling anxious, takes them one step further in overcoming shyness because being disrespectful is never an excuse for being shy.
You must teach your child as a parent to be polite regardless of feeling shy. You must teach them from a place of love and understanding. You are also acknowledging that your child feels uncomfortable in situations with new people.
Your child(ren) should understand that being shy and maintaining his or her boundaries is okay, but being rude is not because being shy can sometimes come off as rude. For example, some people may seem unfriendly if they don’t politely respond to others and just ignore friendly gestures.
5. Do not tell people your child is shy
Telling people “My child is shy” can sometimes be more harmful than helpful to your child. Labelling him or her this way can lead your child to believe that he or she is shy and there is nothing that can be done to improve the situation. This can lead to your child missing opportunities and avoiding social environments just because they are uncomfortable.
Referring to your child as “shy” with others can also be confusing and embarrassing for a child. As a parent, you want to encourage your child(ren) to try new things and develop confidence as they conquer the world with each new milestone. Constantly telling people that your kid is shy will only affirm your child’s doubts about what he or she is capable of doing.
Overcoming shyness can take a lot of work but by applying these simple strategies, you can help your child gain more confidence and rise above any given situation.
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