The terms “green flag” and “red flag” come simply from the idea that green means good to go, while red means stop and watch out. Red flags call attention to issues; green flags signal that you are safe to proceed. These days, many of us are quick to call out red flags in potential partners and in the relationships we see unfolding around us. Green flags, on the other hand, tend to get a lot less attention.
A green flag is a behaviour or personal quality that indicates that the person you’re with will likely approach relationships in a healthy, mature, and generally desirable way in the future.
We need to be able to recognise what healthy relationships look like. That way, we can start to move toward people who display those healthy qualities and be more likely to find ourselves in the kind of relationships that feel good. Here are some green flags that tell you are with the right person.
1. Great listener
Active listening is a necessity for relationships to last in the long term. When used in close relationships, active listening can foster an even deeper level of emotional intimacy.”
Pay attention if your partner puts in the effort to hear and understand you. If they ask thoughtful questions, make space for you in the conversation, and seek to get to know your inner world well, those are all big green flags.
2. Comfortable talking about their feelings
The ability to go deep and get emotional is another green flag in a potential romantic partner. A healthy relationship requires two people who can recognize their own emotions, and who are then able to share those emotions and needs. A person who can tap into and talk about their emotions with ease is demonstrating important relational skills.
3. Take steps toward becoming better
No one is perfect when it comes to relationships, and a romantic partner needs to be able to recognise their shortcomings and the areas where they still need to grow as a partner and as a person. It’s a green flag when someone can take feedback without getting defensive, take responsibility for their actions and issues, and then actually take steps toward change.
4. Easy to be around
Feeling at ease with someone is always a green flag. You can just be yourself around this person, without worrying too much about trying to impress them or walking on eggshells not to upset them. You can be honest and speak your mind. It is an internal signal that you feel safe with this person.
5. Shows empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to another person’s emotions, or even share them. A good partner can recognize not only their own emotions but also yours. They might feel sad when you’re sad, or they can at least understand when and why you are experiencing sadness. They show compassion in such moments and make you feel validated in what you’re going through.
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