AS a follow up to my previous write up about marital infidelity, I am moved to tell our readers that of all the offenses a spouse commits, the one with the deepest cut is extra marital affairs. The impact is not only devastating, but could be lasting, or better stated, eternal.
If only couples realise the highly damaging consequences of infidelity, it will be avoided like the Ebola plaque. The end results which are highly destructive, include ill health, emotional trauma, bodily harm, and in extreme cases, death. These will be given adequate attention in due course.
It is amazing how easily we allow ourselves to be drawn into such a death trap clone as infidelity. Extra marital affairs are extra marital troubles. So, let us do all to avoid it. One antidote to infidelity among the married should is spousal protection. That is each partner put in place, measures that will make infidelity unattractive to his or her spouse. I believe there is a way couples can act towards each other that will help their partners stay out of the troubled waters of infidelity. Such things as listed below are for consideration today in this column.
- Make your spouse your accountability partner. Agree you are accountable to one another, and are expected to give an account of your conduct with people, especially of the opposite sex. Doing so acts as a check on our flair or fall for extra-marital affairs.
- Sexual advances/temptation should be brought to your spouse’s notice. When this is done, it helps one to overcome the advances/temptation. When it is hidden from our partners, we make allowance for it to grow into full blown affairs.
- Be sensitive to strange behaviour of your spouse. When your spouse begins to act in strange manners, keeping late nights,-hiding or coding cell phones,-receiving calls inside cars or secluded places away from the spouse, all these are strong indications that all may no longer be well in the marriage. You should draw your spouse’s attention to such observations. Don’t pick quarrels about it, but let him know you are watching, may be the saving grace for him or her to stay out of troubled waters.
- Maintain a good relationship with one another. Express your love constantly to each other, rather than to assume that you know you love each other. Let your spouse know that he/she is ever attractive to you. Act in loving manners towards each other. Above all, never take your emotional happiness for granted. An emotionally hurt partner will seek for succor elsewhere, especially wives who are generally more emotional than the husband.
- Maintain an attractive posture for your spouse. Flaunt your features, especially those appreciated by your spouse, regularly before him or her spouse. Dress well, look good, wear what your spouse appreciate in others, and keep fit for each other.
- Lastly, give sexual fulfillment a prime place in your marriage. Sex should not only be available, but should be readily available, enjoyable and inexpensive in your marriage.
I know that whatever one does, those partners who will stray will still stray away, but acting as stated above among other things reduces the chances for most partners. After all, what one is looking for in sokoto is right inside one’s sokoto. That is, what one may be looking for outside the marriage is already available in the marriage. So, no need to trouble yourself by going outside.
My book enjoying great sex life is still available for sale.