As a young general overseer, how do you relate with older members and other cleric’s wives of your church?
I relate with them well. Good leadership isn’t a function of age. We have young and old bad leaders. I don’t relate with church members as a boss; we are all there to serve. People listen to and support a serving leader, and by God’s grace, that’s who I have been. We talk, pray, work and gets things done in peace.
Did you know you would marry a cleric?
No I didn’t. I usually get teased by my friends from time to time about being a future ‘Pastor Mrs,’ but I always kicked against such.
How did you meet your husband?
We both met at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife, Osun State. We also attended same campus fellowship, which is Christ Ambassador Student Outreach, Ife.
What was the attraction?
My husband is a good looking man. He’s also a good singer. I absolutely love his passion for God. With his determined and hardworking nature, he sponsored himself through the university where he studied Civil Engineering. Those were the major attractions for me.
Did you become a pastor by the virtue of your husband’s calling?
Ministry has always been a part of me, even before I met my husband. I was into prison and orphanage outreaches but I wasn’t ordained a pastor till I got married.
What was growing up like?
Growing up was fun and challenging. I worked really hard helping my mum sell her goods and attending school at the same time. My mother, late Mrs Foluso Ogundare (nee Oke), was an accountant at The Polytechnic, Owo, Ondo State, but times were very hard then. Salaries of workers were so little; we had to do businesses to meet up and stay above the poverty level. I sold eggs, books, the like in the hostels to students and staff members. I had my primary education at the Ondo State Polytechnic Staff School, Owo, then proceeded to St. Louis Grammar School, Ikere Ekiti for my secondary education. As a missionary school, they instilled discipline, which shaped my work ethics till date. I later attended Obafemi Awolowo University where I studied Demography and Social Statistics.
What are some things people don’t know about you as a pastor’s wife?
I really love my privacy and would rather serve from the pews.
How would you advise other clerics’ wives on supporting their husbands?
Firstly, make sure the home is peaceful. I can’t overemphasise that. No minister can function well in the absence of peace in the home. Plan healthy meals and encourage your husband to exercise more often. Good sex is needed in a marriage; so being a cleric doesn’t exempt him from such need. Compliment him and be his number one fan. Bring your own flavour into his work. You are not there to compete with him, but to complete him. Avoid destructive criticism; it does more harm than good. It’s a privilege to be the wife of your pastor, which makes you your pastor’s pastor. You witness his weaknesses first-hand, correct him with love and pray for him. Every man of God is a man; it’s the anointing upon their lives that differentiates them from the common man on the streets.
What is your advice for pastors on finding balance?
It is important to find a way to balance ministry and your family. There are many pastors’ children, who have bad attitudes because they have absentee parents. Ministers should plan their work to accommodate adequate time with the kids daily, so that they can detect vices early and instill godly morals. Don’t neglect your home while building others. Neglected kids grow up with so much bitterness in their hearts. They become bitter against God and every good thing their parents stand for. Plan family vacations, picnics, games and anything that would make you have quality time with your family.
How do you strike a balance being a cleric’s wife and a mother?
It takes God’s grace and discipline to balance being a pastor, wife and a working mother. I saw my mother balance it all gracefully and I must say I learnt a lot from her. I plan ahead for the home as much as I can; I buy things in bulk, cook and freeze them. This has really been helpful. I have a well planned out food timetable for the kids so, it helps me through the week. One must know when to say ‘No’ also. I can’t attend every celebration of every church member; I’ll get worn out. I delegate sometimes at work or in church.
What is your advice for women about to become pastors’ wives?
Don’t allow traditions and people’s opinion determine your worth and work. No rule says all pastor wives must be in women’s ministry. Be You. Discover your purpose and blossom. Have a life outside the pulpit. Be determined to stay relevant. Laugh, love and be happy. Have a heart that forgives easily or pray for one if you don’t have it already, because you will surely need that! Know when to draw the line; don’t get too familiar with the anointing upon your husband’s life so that you won’t be a spectator when church members are testifying. The anointing you don’t honour can’t bless you.
and then