Do you know who I am? (1)

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Traffic had snarled to a halt as the altercation between the gentleman and a lady intensified with the elegantly dressed lady being the obvious aggressor. Chauffeured by a uniformed man in an official army vehicle, her driver had driven in a manner that put the gentleman and perhaps a few other road users in danger. The simply dressed gentleman leveled up with her car, flagged it down and tried to reprimand the driver for driving the way he did. She would have none of it. Enraged, she instructed the driver to stop while she alighted from her car and started railing invectives on the gentleman who did not for once raise his voice. The more he tried to explain to the woman the folly of her driver’s action, the more enraged she seemed to become, intermittently exclaiming, “Do you know who I am? I will make you regret this insolence!” The gentleman explained that it didn’t really matter as long as she wasn’t encouraging her driver to break traffic laws in a way that endangered other people’s lives.

While he was still explaining his position, she picked her phone and started to make some calls. In a matter of minutes, some officers of the Nigerian Army showed up, sent by her husband, a Lieutenant-Colonel whose office was in a nearby barrack to see what was happening and to, if need be, teach the “bloody civilian” a lesson he would never forget. As soon as the men showed up, their leader recognized the unassuming gentleman and, ignoring the ranting woman who was insisting on “making this idiot regret that he ever confronted me”, the officers stood at attention and gave a full salute to the gentleman. When asked to stand at ease, their leader started apologizing on behalf of the woman. Flustered, the woman became quiet and wondered what was happening. The officer said, “Ma, this is Major-General XYZ, Commandant of ABC Brigade of the Nigerian Army”. The gentleman simply instructed the officers to arrest the now-disgraced woman who was now kneeling, frantically pleading for mercy, and her driver and lead them to his base where they were to be kept in the guardroom until his arrival in the office. They were to return to their office thereafter and report what happened to her husband.

Humility is a virtue while pride is the precursor to shame and as the Bible says, downfall. In our climes, humility is not a word that is commonly heard around leadership and the corridors of power. In a society that only sees power as a platform to oppress others who we believe are less privileged, most people are in a frenzy to acquire a measure of power and authority not just to escape the tantrums of power-drunk people but to also throw their own weight around and make bold statements of a measure of “arrival” when they assume a ‘new’ social status. Consequently, as soon as someone gets a promotion at work or lands a good job, he wants to show everyone around him that “Levels have changed”! How best to prove that if it is not in a new wardrobe, a better and bigger car, a bigger apartment, complete with the gadgets that fit it, while leaving no one in doubt that he is the latest kid on the block! Exhibitionism is the hallmark of the proud. Whenever you hear someone begin to yell at the top of his voice, “Do you know who I am?” or, “I will show you who I am”, you are looking at a person who either just forged an alliance with someone in power or some level of leadership or wealth, or someone who just chanced on a semblance or measure of power.

Humility is a great asset to anyone. Only the humble can stoop to conquer. Unfortunately, our society’s understanding of pride and humility is warped. Very often, we can hardly tell the difference between confidence and pride. When we see anyone who boldly stands for what he believes in or expresses himself with confidence and a level of panache, we conclude that he is proud. On the other hand, when we see someone who finds it difficult to express himself in public, or who hardly contributes to a discussion, avoids trouble, genuflects or prostrates to greet everyone he meets, and very malleable to boot, we assume that he is very humble. This is very far from the truth. Sometimes the mien of humility is assumed because the person involved really doesn’t have much of a choice. Humility is not appreciated in an atmosphere of deprivation. To know whether a person is proud or humble, expose them to power, position and wealth. Those three things manifest the real character of a person. In the words of a Yoruba proverb, when a man is poor, he assumes another person’s character. The pride in the heart of many is only veiled by their poverty because poverty limits expression.

You have heard it said that empty barrels make the loudest noise. Pride stems from an exaggerated sense of personal worth or importance that makes the proud person believe that he is the best thing that ever happened to the world since chocolate ice-cream. What many people don’t know is that pride actually stems from a warped self-esteem that reveals a deep-seated inferiority complex that is only couched in unbridled megalomania that does not want to be found out so as not to appear vulnerable or be seen for what the proud person really is! The proud person literally sits on a high horse while demanding respect (even when he does nothing to earn it) from everyone he considers subordinate to him. If you are the unfortunate subordinate, you cross him at your own peril. Insubordination, envy and criticism of their superiors are the hallmarks of the proud. The same people who demand respect hardly know how to give it unless they want to gain some advantage.

When reprimanded by a superior, they waste no time in taking it out on the next available subordinate. For the proud, their elephantine ego is their wardrobe. The only god that the proud worship is called ‘SELF’. They will flip the handle and fly into a rage or start throwing tantrums when they encounter anyone who is not a devotee at their altar. Every relationship with them is high-maintenance, because for them, it is either “my way” or “the highway”. Right or wrong, the proud constantly seek validation, not interrogation. Always coming across as highly opinionated, even when their display of stupidity and ignorance is on steroids, trying to reason with a proud person is like pouring water on the back of a duck!

A humble man is like deep waters that flow in majestic silence. They are characterized by an unusual calmness in their mien that reveals a stoicism of character that is confident, yet unassuming. What is behind the gentle strength of a truly humble person? Why do they appear so self-assured even when it is obvious that they cannot have their way?… continued

Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!

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