Delegates’ bazaar and herbalists’ seasonal windfall

Add as a preferred source

The political season is here again. It comes with a bazaar. Political parties are holding their AGMs. Politics is the most profitable enterprise in Nigeria today. Billions of naira go in as investment. The chicanery of dibo kose’be (vote buying), ordinarily passes the delegate bazaar as a Ponzi. But it is much worse. What is exchanged is a birth-right. Sounds like the sad story of Esau?

Delegate business is delicate. Since the naira rain of the aborted Third Republic, especially at the Jos Convention, between two billionaires, for the SDP presidential ticket, party primaries have become a seed time and harvest arrangement. Yes, the Bible says the phenomenon of sowing and reaping would last humanity, but selling wind and buying whirlwind, isn’t included.

A few days back, I sat with an aspirant for congress. It is the usual story of delegate list, available delegate to buy, penetrating “owners” of delegates (when those delegates aren’t goats) chasing after delegates not totally committed to opponents, monitoring Abuja to ensure delegate lists aren’t tampered with and ultimately, calculating needed delegates to win and how much money is needed to win their votes. Sad!

For hours, he was working his phone. Then, a comic relief. He called a relative in another state also seeking ticket to Congress. The fellow at the other end, needed more delegates to win, because his federal constituency is larger. Of course, he needed more millions than the other person, to purchase his “goods”. The man here began to sympathise with him for having to seek more funding. There was no word about their legislative plans for their constituents. It was just about winning elections and becoming Honourables. Where I sat, I was lost in thought. Then, my friend said something like, “why are they demanding performance from politicians, when they are paying them.” My lips froze. I used to think this fellow was altruistic about service. Well, he served once at a local level and was well-regarded as a performer. Maybe, he will still attract same bouquet if he makes it to Abuja. But right now, the system is draining him and he must just have to drain the system in Abuja, to regain financial balance. He tried twice and failed. He said each attempt cost tens of millions of naira. Both attempts didn’t go beyond primaries. He is a loyal party member. He won’t decamp to opposition for ticket. Or maybe he discovered opposition ticket which would still cost him some millions, isn’t just a viable investment as his party’s. The third attempt is already a drain on him. Thankfully, he isn’t paying school fees again as all his children are now adults, but his business is breathing heavily under the yoke of constant emergency spending, on both statutory and elected delegates and party leaders who own them. It is going to be a futile preachment asking him to be straight in Abuja, except held by God.

Then, he called one of his coordinators, asking him to ensure a certain recalcitrant delegate is in at all costs. Of course, that would mean offering her what she can’t refuse. Then the banger; as the conversation was closing, with the phone on speaker, the fellow, assuring his paymaster, said, “don’t worry, we have secured her and she is going to take the oath.” What?

He noticed my discomfort and smiled when the call ended. Politics is not church, he quipped, before regaling me with how some fellow he contested against the last time, forced his acquired delegates to sleep inside a coffin and still lost. If he still lost, then why are you allowing your men to go the same way, I wondered in my heart. Truly the delegate business is delicate.

Since men have willed politics to the devil, maybe it isn’t necessary, raising the admonition of the Bible that our Yes should be simply Yes and our No, should be a simple No. Anything outside of this, the Word of God, says is of the devil. But maybe some fellow could still be rescued from pending perdition. God further warned about swearing, including by His name. He wants to keep us safe from covenants that drain destinies, because drinking different kinds of concoction, for N200, 000, or thereabout, can be a delicate affair.

Apart from delegates, this is also an open season for herbalists. Now that a strong campaign is discouraging money ritual and yahoo+, what set of customers, could be better than desperate politicians, who are ready for picnic in hell, just to win nomination and get elected. These ones have found the perfect appetite, to join the devil for a buffet and the table he sets before them, in exchange for election successes, they gladly dine thereon.

An older friend seeking a seat told me that after being governor for eight years, the rest of his life, will likely be spent living in a church and asking for mercy every minute. I asked if it is that bad inside governance. He said things being done in politics and governance, are better kept therein. I guess my prayer against involvement in politics, is spot-on, afterall.

A major masterstroke President Buhari didn’t get enough credit for the last time his party had a national convention was using the subterfuge of consensus, to frustrate dollar rain and oath-taking. Those who came prepared to dazzle with dollars, were left disappointed, when there was nothing to contest for. PDP also went the same way. Agreed, there would still have been “take, no vex” money, but there was no maddening spending at the conventions, especially APC’s, that came with high stakes.

Of the allowed three nomination modules, there is something inherently evil in the indirect option. It has become an indirect route to hell, with destinies getting shortchanged on the altar of desperation. How can a man remain normal after sleeping inside a coffin, as an assurance to an aspirant? Those oath-taking sessions are simply entering into different covenants with the devil. The herbalists are reaping a windfall, lives meant to be impactful are destroyed.

The delegate arrangement for indirect primaries is sheer glorification of hell. Yes, there will be stiff resistance, but President Buhari can still take the lead in ensuring his party nomination isn’t for the cruelest bidder. If direct won’t do, he, as the leader of the party, should work consensus options that would shame mammon again. May God guide the President.

IN CASE YOU MISSED THESE FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE