Conflict resolution (I)

There is no way we can successfully go through life without knowing how to resolve conflicts. An integral part of a successful life is conflict resolution because wherever there is relationship conflict, crisis and misunderstanding is bound to happen. Our lives cannot count if we shy away from the responsibility to resolve conflicts that arise in the course of our journey in life.

We must know how to effectively deal with crisis, conflict and misunderstanding else our progress will be impeded. Unresolved conflict causes stress and this ultimately will have a knock-on effect on productivity. Unresolved conflict is a cancer that destroys inter-personal relationships and when interpersonal relationship is strained cooperation among people is almost impossible. Unresolved conflict adversely affects the morale of people.  Unresolved conflict also is a major cause of competitive jealousy and the existence of camps and cliques.

We all must acquire skills in conflict resolution and there are some things we need to know if we are to be good conflict managers.  We must understand that conflict and misunderstanding among people is not strange. Wherever we have two people conflict is bound to occur. We cannot all agree about everything every time. Like someone said, if we agree about everything every time then someone is not thinking. It is, therefore a fact of life that conflicts will always occur in every relationship. The first step in conflict resolution is never to be shocked or surprised when they happen. When we are shocked by the existence of conflict we are likely to be too destabilized to resolve it effectively. This means no conflict should get us disappointed at people. Being shocked or embarrassed will blind us and make us biased and hinder our effective and impartial resolution of such conflict – so we need to be calm whenever conflict occurs.

It is a basic principle of conflict resolution that judgment must never be made without hearing and giving audience to all parties to the conflict. You cannot condemn a man unheard. We must always listen to all sides of any conflict.

We must never pass judgment or make comments after hearing only side of the story.                                                              

“He who answers a matter before he hears the facts–it is folly and shame to him. He who states his case first seems right, until his rival comes and cross-examines him.” Proverbs 18:13, 17

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If we are going to be effective in resolving conflict we have to be impartial. We must never take sides – we must always be on the side of truth, justice and righteousness. This demands we have to be careful when we step in to resolve any conflict. We must not only watch what we say but how we say things in our bid to resolve conflicts. When we see that we have a personal interest in the resolution of the conflict it is better to let somebody who has no personal stake in the outcome of the conflict to resolve it. We cannot be a judge in our own cause.

                                            TO BE CONTINUED