When it comes to who we choose as our partner, we all have “specs,” or preferences. But more often than not, these “specs” as we call them, are based on superficial qualities, expectations, or desires that we have allowed to develop in our minds over time.
When it comes to the choice of a partner, there are important qualities that we need to look out for in any individual we decide to journey with especially for those who have long-term commitment (marriage) in mind.
This is because your partner is your support system and a person who has the capacity to make you or break you. They are the ones who will stand with you through good times and bad and support you in your darkest moments.
So, you ask, what do I look for in a partner?
1. Respect
Before you go ahead to ask or accept an individual as your partner, you need to be sure they respect you.
Being in a relationship goes beyond the show of affection and love, there is a need for respect between partners. An individual who doesn’t respect you should not be given the opportunity to be a part of your life because they will end up crushing your self-esteem when they become a part of your life.
If your partner respects you, it means they respect all of your boundaries, whether they are emotional, sexual, or physical.
A prospective partner should also respect your beliefs and values. The person you are in a relationship with doesn’t have to agree with you on every issue, but even so, you must have mutual respect for each other’s core beliefs and values.
One of the most important characteristics of a good partner is that they show you respect. And if you have found one, never let them go!
2. Emotional maturity
Another important characteristic to look out for in a potential partner is emotional maturity. You don’t want to be with an individual who is a baby emotionally.
When a person is emotionally mature, they’re self-assured, independent, and do not shy away from commitment.
They are willing to learn and think about themselves and are open to reflecting on the past and making progress in the present and future.
A mature partner has an even temper, does not rely on others for their happiness, can pursue their goals and advance in life, and doesn’t have a clouded view of themselves or the world around them. Moreover, they are not possessive or jealous.
Most importantly, an emotionally mature person thinks before they act and doesn’t let their emotions control their actions. They also recognise their flaws and accept yours with an open mind.
So, ensure you look for emotional maturity in your prospective partner.
3. Unwavering commitment
A relationship is not for babies, and partners are not clothes that are meant to be changed on a daily basis. So, you need to look out for a partner with unwavering commitment.
A partner who is not committed or loyal to you will leave you feeling insecure, and when you are with someone you know you can’t trust, jealousy, suspicion, and heartbreak will become a regular part of your life.
You shouldn’t be with a partner whose lack of commitment to you will give you high blood pressure.
So, only accept or ask out someone who will be completely committed to you. Doing this will leave you feeling loved and content in your relationship.
4. Similar vision and values
Being with a partner with a similar vision in this instance doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing; rather, it means that the individual understands where you are going and is willing to support you all the way, and vice versa.
You shouldn’t be with a partner who is visionless or doesn’t have any prospects for his or her own life. You don’t need a partner who will be a liability to you rather than help.
Also, you should ensure that you share the same values and beliefs with your partner.
For instance, a person who believes in abstinence before marriage should not be with a partner who doesn’t see anything wrong in pre-marital sex.
The holy book says, ‘can two work together except they be agreed?’
If you go into a relationship with someone whose values or beliefs are radically different from yours, your relationship with them will be tumultuous, rocky and unprogressive.
5. Ability to forgive easily
Forgiveness is key in any and every relationship. Even as friends, it takes a great deal of forgiveness for us to stay with our friends over the years because we will always offend one another. How much more important is forgiveness in a relationship?
Go for someone who is forgiving.
Relationships take a lot of effort and hard work, and along the way, both of you are likely to make a mistake or two, hurt each other, and mess up from time to time.
Therefore, look for someone who is a good forgiver.
Even as you look out for these qualities in your potential partner, you should not ignore these red flags as a guy or lady in relationship.
6. Trust
Another quality to look for in a potential partner is trust. Trust is a strong pillar on which every successful relationship is built.
You shouldn’t be with a person who doesn’t trust you or your decisions.
You shouldn’t be with someone who will call your friends or family to confirm whatever you said before they believe you, nor should you be with someone who will be snooping through your phone, reading your private messages, or your browsing history.
Your partner should trust you, and you trust them.
If you know you can’t trust this person, then there is no need to enter into a relationship with them.
7. Compromise
At certain points in our lives, we all have to make compromises. You need to ensure that the person you are going to be with is always willing to make compromises.
You shouldn’t be with a person who bends to your every whim, nor should you be with a person who forces their decision on you without trying to consider your own view or wish.
You can’t be right all the time, and neither can your partner. So, you need to be with a partner who is always willing to talk matters through with you and make compromises when needed.
8. Growth
Another quality to look for in a potential partner is their ability to grow and assist you in growing.
You shouldn’t be with someone who is satisfied with their present position or who doesn’t see the need for you to grow and become the best.
The person you are with should help you evolve into a better version of yourself. Your partner should challenge you to step up your game in every aspect of your life.
You should be with someone who brings out and strengthens parts of you that you never knew existed.
9. Independence
As much as you can, ensure you only go for a partner who is independent in all areas of their life.
You should not be with an individual who doesn’t have a life outside of your relationship. You need someone who is emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and financially independent. You shouldn’t be with a person whose whole life only revolves around the relationship and nothing more.
The person you intend to be in a relationship with shouldn’t expect you to spend every moment with them because you have hopes and dreams beyond the scope of your relationship.
And besides, two people can only spend so much time together before getting fed up with each other, so a little bit of space will be good for both of you.
10. Fearless
This quality is one that must not be joked with, especially for ladies being approached by different men. You shouldn’t be with a guy who is afraid and cannot protect you.
There will always be tough times in life, so as a guy or a lady, you need to be with someone who isn’t afraid to face the tough side of life.
Look for someone who is available not only when things are going well, but also when the going gets tough.
Life is not a bed of roses; you need and should only be with someone who is ready to stick by you through thick and thin.
As much as the above are important qualities you should look out for in a partner, you also need to ensure that you possess similar qualities because we only give gold to the person who knows its value and can appreciate it best.
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