Things you should not do when you enter a relationship

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There are certain things you should not do when you enter a relationship. Love seems to be in the air more than ever before. Under the posts of admirable couples, particularly in Nigeria, you’ll see people in the comments saying, ‘God when?’

Contents

1. Cut off from friends
2. Stop seeking knowledge
3. Allow social media get a hold of your life
4. Ignore your career
5. Ignore yourself
6. Look down on people

That is an expression used by Nigerians when they see something desirable. Now, your time has come and the relationship you dreamed of, prayed for, and eagerly anticipated has come.

Love is a beautiful thing, and the relationships that you see and admire from a distance that make you want to find one too took intentionality and discipline. It required the partners in the relationship to put in the work to make it work.

When you enter a relationship newly, it is advisable to never do certain things in the heat of the moment. You could take irrational decisions that could disrupt the trajectory of the relationship. This does not mean that you should deny yourself the beauty of living in the moment. Just be wise.

1. Cut off from friends

This looks like an unsaid rule that some people who are new in a relationship seem to abide by. So, because you now have a partner who you call, text, and see literally every time, that’s why you think that it’s enough reason for you to let go of your friends; the ones who existed before the relationship ever came to be.

Your partner says he enjoys your company, and since you are of the opinion that the feeling is mutual, you choose to hang around with your partner much more often than you do with your friends. Then you start to give your friends the impression that they do not understand; in other words, they cannot relate to what inspired your decision to cut them off.

Cutting your friends off does not happen all at once; it all happens in bits and pieces. The occurrences start adding up until one day you realise that an almost irrecoverable gap has been created between you and them.

You need your friends. Life is not strictly attuned to romance. There is much more that you can do in life apart from romance.

2. Stop seeking knowledge

There is a saying that you cannot harvest from where you haven’t invested. Regarding relationships and other things that pertain to your life, you shouldn’t give up on learning. There are a few people who are tricked into believing that once they enter into a relationship, they suddenly become an expert at anything, especially relationships.

Learning never ends, this saying never gets old. You can’t put your life on hold, literally, and make your ‘new venture’ all you live for. It’s a bad idea to stop learning and investing in yourself.

This right here could ruin your relationship and ruin your knowledge about who you are. You begin to embrace comparison and run your life and relationship based on the filtered lifestyle of people on social media. When you cannot control how you engage social media, it begins to take a hold on your consciousness and this will spur you to place demands on your partner. When you enter a relationship, the last thing you want to do is allow social media to rule what you have.

4. Ignore your career

It would be unwise for you to shove your career and everything you’ve spent time showing up for aside when you enter a relationship. Let’s assume that you are in love, and the moment you enter a relationship you are ready to throw everything under the bus for this reason. Is your partner willing to do the same?

5. Ignore yourself

There is every tendency to ignore yourself just to please and show up for your partner. You want to do anything to get the ball rolling in your relationship. Pay attention to yourself. No one set the rule that you must compulsorily be the one to make your relationship work. It is a joint effort. You both have to pay attention to yourselves while showing up for the relationship. When you enter into a relationship, you are supposed to be a better version of yourself. Stop it. Stop putting pressure on yourself to make things work and risk losing touch with who you are.

6. Look down on people

Never look down on anyone who is not in a relationship and think that you’re way better than them because you have “achieved” something. When you enter into a relationship, you should also not look down on people who have been in it for a while before you. Don’t spite them and act like you are better off, even if you think you are. Don’t make your relationship the sole determinant of your identity.

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