These violent spouses

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MARRIAGE is ideally a beautiful institution in which love, care and mutual understanding should reign supreme. As companions, spouses are supposed to be passionate about each other even though they may have occasion to critique each other as partners in a lifelong journey. Sadly, though, things have changed dramatically around the world and here in Nigeria, particularly in recent times, and supposed spouses are acting like sworn enemies, actively undermining and seeking the downfall of each other. Apparently, family values are collapsing at an alarming rate. This is the backdrop of the recent cases of spousal abuse in the country. Or how else does anyone assess the case of a woman bathing her husband in hot vegetable oil? The woman identified as Mrs. Favour Nwokekoro, a native of Obite community in Ogba/Egbema/Ndoni Local Government Area of RiversState, allegedly poured hot groundnut oil on her husband, Ekelediri Nwokekoro, while he was asleep in their home in Okehi community in Etche Local Government Area of Rivers State last week. According to reports, the couple had been having a running battle over the attitude of the wife’s younger sister who lived with them.

According to the victim, his sister-in-law had been disrespectful to him, and so he decided to send her packing. He gave the lady transport fare for the journey home, but this did not go down well with his wife, and her stiff resistance to the move led to a heated argument between him and her. Nwankwo, who alleged that his sister-in-law was fond of dressing provocatively around the house, also accused his wife of nurturing an amorous relationship with a strange man who he said constantly lurked around his wife and sister-in-law. Speaking when she was paraded with other suspects at the River State police command’s headquarters in Port Harcourt, the state capital, by the Commissioner of Police, Emeka Nwonyi, Mrs Nwokekoro regretted her actions, saying that she and her husband were fighting when she poured the hot oil all over his body and that she would not have perpetrated the act if she had known how it would end. On his part, the CP said: “She used hot groundnut oil on the husband for whatever domestic issue they had. You can run but you cannot hide. The law will catch up with anybody and give the necessary sanctions because if you do anyhow, you see anyhow.”

In another incident in the same city, another woman, Godslove Olakada, allegedly attacked her husband with hot water over a N15,000 cash gift reportedly distributed by Agbonchia community in Eleme Local Government Area of the state to indigent women. Mrs. Olakada allegedly committed the dastardly act after accusing her husband of pocketing the share of the money meant for her and her two daughters, an accusation the man denied. The police spokesperson in Rivers State, SP Grace Iringe-Koko, disclosed that the woman was arrested and detained by operatives of the command following credible intelligence, adding that the victim was rushed to a nearby hospital for medical attention. Eyewitnesses alleged that after committing the act, Olakada took her husband’s Automated Teller Machine (ATM) card and attempted to flee with it but was apprehended by youths in the area who promptly handed her over to the police.

To be sure, these cases of spousal violence are distressing. It is bewildering that such levels of mindless violence could accompany marital issues that could have been amicably resolved. In the first case, it is bewildering that a woman found no merit in her husband’s complaint about her sibling’s mode of dressing which he felt was sexually suggestive and therefore improper in the home. Such dressing apparently pointed to a sinister motive that could have ended up destroying the moral fabric of the home. There is a distinct possibility that it could have corrupted the morals of the couple’s children. Besides, cases abound of men indulging in illicit relationships with the relatives of their wives and indeed a medical doctor, Olufemi Olaleye, has just been handed a life sentence by a Lagos court for molesting his wife’s niece, a minor. In this regard, except for questionable morality sadly evidenced by her own alleged secret liaisons, it is hard to see why a married woman would be opposed to complaints about her sibling’s amorous dressing, particularly as she is expected to provide moral guidance to the accused who is a young lady and her own blood living with her.

The fact that the other incident resulted from a trivial issue makes the violence even more confounding. If Mrs Olakada felt cheated by her husband, she should have reported the matter to those who could intervene, or at least sought a more civilised way of resolving the issue. The recourse to self-help, and an extremely violent one at that, cannot be justified under any circumstances. Why resort to violence over such a matter? If (wo)men are not satisfied with a marriage, they can simply exit the union, or choose to stay apart from their spouse pending the resolution of whatever the issues are. Resorting to brutality is barbaric. It takes meanness to attack another human being with hot oil or hot water for any reason. That conduct nullifies whatever merits the cause being pursued may have. Sadly, the children in the abusive relationships have been put in a terrible position whereby they will lack the complementarity of parental care if their mothers are found guilty of the charges preferred against them and put behind bars. The women allowed their anger to becloud their judgment, but will not be the only ones to suffer the consequences. Sad!

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