Reverend (Mrs) Omowumi Popoola, wife of Apostle Sunday Popoola, President, Word Communication Ministries (WOCOM), is a lawyer and the convener of the annual Unique Woman Conference, where women from all walks of life converge to be inspired, trained and mentored on how to discover and maximise their potential. In this interview with MODUPE GEORGE, she speaks on women’s issues, the 31 year-old conference, among others.
Recently, at a bi-monthly meeting by the Women Intercessory Network (WIN), you told Nigerians to stop blaming former President Buhari for their problems. Why did you give such an advice?
The society is a reflection of what the home is. It is easy to pick on our leaders, be it the president, prime minister, governor, or anyone in the position of authority. They always bear the brunt and take the blame for every societal ill and whatever happens to the people. The reason I said people should shift their gaze from the president was that if we all do our part from our different homes, we will realise that 90 per cent of the nation’s problems would be solved. So, that is why I said let’s look at it from the root and the root of every society is the family. Whatever you and I refuse to do at our different corners will add up to the societal malady. Buhari whom people are blaming is a product of a home − he inherited his dispositions somewhere.
What do you think is responsible for the increasing rate of divorce and broken homes in the society these days?
God is the author of marriage. So, in ensense, He is the manufacturer, and every manufacturer attaches a handbook to their product. If you neglect the handbook, you will damage the product. Also, the product will not serve its purpose and you won’t enjoy the full benefit. In our world today, we have pushed God aside. We want to run our marriages according to our cultures. Meanwhile, the concept of marriage did not emanate from any culture. It emanated from God. Therefore, we must consult God to run it. Unfortunately, this is the age where people want to do everything in marriage without God and that is the reason why the rate of divorce is high. Even the core values held by our forefathers who were not religious like us were similar to God’s dictates on marriage and their marriages lasted much longer than it is now. The more people drift away from God, the more their marriages will fall apart. That is why we are doing our best to teach people from God’s word how to run their marriages.
It is believed that children from dysfunctional homes are the bane of the society. What is your take on this?
I empathise with every child who is from a dysfunctional home. Primarily, the child’s life, in a way, has been turned upside down. So, this will leave the child confused, unhappy and unfulfilled, due to what the parents and home have epitomised to him or her. So, it’s right to say that children from dysfunctional marriages and homes are sources of some ills in the society. Getting a child exposed to the right kind of leadership from home will go a long way in stabilising our society.
What do you think is the ideal marriage?
The ideal marriage is one where love rules and reigns. Love is seeking the interest of another and bending backwards to meet their needs. To bend backwards means you don’t just meet the needs of your spouse only when it’s convenient for you, but also otherwise. An ideal marriage is one where love governs and where there The submission from both parties, while they consistently protect the interest of each other. Unfortunately, in some cases, each partner comes into the marriage with unrealistic expectations such as ‘I need a woman/man who can be this or that to me because I was deficient in that particular aspect of life.
For instance, you could hear a man say because I didn’t experience the true love of motherhood, so now that I’m going into marriage, I need a woman who will be a mother to me, cook for me, wash my clothes; one who will be my prayer warrior, and the list is endless. Everything is all about you. You are not mindful of the needs or dreams of the woman you are marrying, and not bothered if they would be met or fulfilled. The woman, on the other hand, is also thinking about living with a man who will be lovely, loving and caring; a man who will provide everything and one she could cry on his shoulders.
The two parties are only thinking about how the marriage would fulfil ‘me’ and not ‘us’. Each of them is going into a marriage like a half-bodied person who needs someone to make them complete. So, when those needs are not met, there would be issues. And when there are issues, instead of each party looking inward to make amends, they begin to cast blames and find faults in the other person.
However, if everyone going into a marriage can come with the mindset of wanting to complement their partner, make them happy, look out for their interests, no one will be unhappy in marriage.
Women and mothers have key roles to play in nation-building. How best should women prepare themselves for this task?
You find leadership in every facet of life. There is something every human being is designed to do better than anyone else and be a leader in that regard. I want to encourage every woman to look inward to discover that unique endowments. Having discovered what you are gifted to do, develop it and get proper and adequate training to sharpen the skill. We should also ensure that we do well whatever we are called to do. In the long run, your work will speak for itself and people will begin to accept your claims or follow you. In that wise, you’re providing leadership. As women, we need to get to a point where people cannot push us aside just because our claims don’t match up or our products lack the expected standards.
There is a saying that ‘A woman must do twice better than a man before she can be given her place.’ It is so on this side of the world, but I always wondered why it should be that way. So, for a woman to be substandard, she has unconsciously ruled herself out. We are in a society where, before you are even given a chance, you must have done twice better than a man. I’m 64 years old, and I’m technology savvy. That is what it is.
What prepared you for leadership?
I would say the home again. I can’t talk about all that I’m doing now without mentioning the key role that my father played in preparing me ahead of the future. My father taught me both in words and actions. I remember those days he would take me aside, under the moonlight, and be talking to me about how to take up leadership responsibilities. Then, I thought it was because I was the first child, but later I got to know that he was grooming me because of what I’m going to become in the future. He taught me about womanhood and sex education before I could hear anything from my friend or being taught in school. He taught me everything. My mother also taught me a lot of things.
You are a wife, a mother, a lawyer, and a pastor. What motivates and inspires you to do more?
God has given every woman the ability to multitask. The ability to function in these roles is a creational gift, which God has helped me to be able to tap into. You can be given a gift and you may not know how to utilise it. I’m grateful that God made me a woman and has given me the ability to multitask. So, it’s the grace of God. I‘m always inspired when I see how my life is impacting people and how they are getting up. My motivation is people’s development.
The judiciary in Nigeria is full of compromises. What is your view on this?
It’s a shame to see a place you look up to let you down. The judiciary should be spotless and above board because the society looks up to the judiciary to be able to deliver justice. This is the reason why every country makes sure it takes proper care of its judiciary. However, when you find that kind of weakness in a judiciary, it’s quite disappointing and dashes the hope of the downtrodden. It is a function of how you are brought up as well as your spirit being regenerated. Anyone whose spirit is not regenerated would fall for anything substandard because there’s a limit to how a person can resist evil if you don’t have God. The God factor is needed for people in this sector to be able to uphold the value that is expected of them and also to be contented.
Let us talk about the annual The Unique Woman Conference. Why the need for a women’s conference?
I have discovered that women constitute the largest workforce of any nation and I believe that if that aspect is not well-developed, the nation cannot come to its maximum fulfilment. Any nation that’s not looking up to developing its women will not be able to get to its destination. Every woman is unique. This means that your uniqueness is what makes you a gift to your world, which you must try to discover, develop and deploy. For instance, the dress I’m wearing is made by LayoLooks. She has carved out her own niche and she is doing well. A woman has what it takes to develop a nation. So, there should be a way of bringing this important and powerful workforce together and empowering women to be able to contribute to national development. This is not about Nigeria alone. It cuts across international boundaries; homes, marriages, ethnic groups, cultures or anything that represents nation to womanhood. That is the rationale for the unique conference, and it has been on since 1992.
What is the theme of this year’s conference?
This year’s theme is ‘Nation Builders’. It’s about calling ourselves home as women and reminding ourselves of the fact that we have been called to build , while we also show how we should build.
You look beautiful and elegant in your 60s. What is the secret?
There are times that I have to purposely switch off my mind from worrying over things that I cannot change or have no control over. I look away from things that don’t matter and I concentrate on the ones that are of more importance. Also, how you feel on the inside has a way of reflecting on your outward appearance.
If you were given a free ticket to travel out of Nigeria, which country would you choose?
I have never thought about that. I want to let you know that I’m passionate about Nigeria.
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