When the trust we have built with a person is damaged, we are faced with a choice of considerable magnitude, should we trust again or allow the relationship, no matter how important it is, to die a slow natural death. This week on WhatsApp Conversation, that was the topic under examination. We got the following replies:
Well, it depends but usually I would say no. They have shown their true colours, believe them the first time but if you like premium tears you can give three chances at the most. The fact remains that people usually know when they lose your trust and they know exactly what they are doing.
Talking for myself, I easily trust people, if the person messes up, I will still roll with the person again but with my eyes and brain opened, not blindly. Forgiveness is a command from God, and we must obey to show that we are his children. We can forgive but then, choosing to trust the person again is a decision that you have to take after weighing the pros and cons.
Trust is to be earned; therefore, it would not be wise to trust after a particular individual has already betrayed my trust. If the person in question is willing to rebuild the trust, it will take time but that can be done.
Forgiveness entails trusting them again. Once you forgive them it means you trust them again nevertheless it is advisable you take measures to make sure what happened before never happens again. If I trust you and you fuck up once, then, I am going to trust you again just that this time the trust is from a different angle. I will trust you now that you will do it again if you can do it once.
Trust is usually given on the ground of past experience or expectation from someone. Expectation-for example, you don’t give a crate of eggs to a 5-year-old to carry not because it’s too heavy for the child but because you don’t trust the child to carry it without breaking it.
Past experiences- Another example. A Nigerian who has to do a job for someone who resides outside the country needs to prove to the person that he’s not a scammer because based on past experiences, Nigerians have been known to be fraudulent so foreigners doesn’t trust them.
Let us say they are husband and wife: Based on normal expectations, no one expects the other to cheat. Let us now say that the wife cheats on the husband, his trust is broken. The lady can’t expect the man to just trust her again after forgiving her. Like she has to build it again. Things like giving him unhindered access to her phone, coming home early, giving explanations even when it is like he is not asking.
Yes, I have broken my mother’s trust before and yet she still trusts me. Depends on how close the person is to me. But then, we are all human and there can be issues, trust can also be broken. Each case should be judged based on its merit.
In my opinion, it is possible to trust that kind of person again. Truth be told though, it may not be the same way it was before the trust got broken. There would always be a lingering voice of doubt that will be hard to silence. As humans, there will be times that trust will be tested.
Trust – it is something that everyone is not so perfect at. There is a popular saying “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” I really think that in spite of that saying, everyone deserves a second chance and they should be given one.
Well, yes, it is possible. If they find a way to go about the whole recreation process. But for me, personally, I find it hard to trust people “I’ve broken their trust” so, I wonder how hard it would be for them to trust me the second time too. So hard but then it might never be like the first time, “healing from broken trust takes time” but then the memories will be there always.
If they earn that trust again, yeah. People break trust for several reasons. If the person is sorry and has shown that I can still trust him, why not? But Trust must be re-earned, and the other party must work hard at earning the trust back. If not, it might not work out fine.
For somebody like me, I don’t trust anybody at first, people around me will always tell me that “I trust no one.” I trust but I don’t make it very visible. If someone then betrays my trust, I don’t feel it’s right or wrong. I believe that it is your decision and your decision is your right.
The answer is straight forward for me. I will not trust the person the second time. A lot of emotions are encapsulated in trust and if that didn’t mean anything to you, it is worthless enough to break it. Then, the answer is no!
Next week, the topic of discussion will be I’m a 23-year-old who’s a constant victim of friendzone. The people I meet usually like me but they tend to friendzone me. How do I escape being friend-zoned? To be part of the next edition, send your response to 0813361345.
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