For many couples, sex is no longer what it used to be; no more adventures. So they are stocked with the hope that things will get better. But the truth is, many a times wishes do not translate to reality. That is the basis of the popular saying, “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride”. Wishing it will get better is not likely going to work. Couples who are serious about having a better sex life need to work at it. They may need to talk to sex experts to find out how they can put the “fire” back in the sex life. Or read more books, magazines, write ups on sex etc. Trying out the tips below will surely help in that direction.
However, the starting point is to talk about your sex life in order to find out what the missing link is. If you doubt the need for this, then read this excerpt:
“But even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom. Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we’d like him to wear, or what we’d like to cook together for dinner, we tend to get tongue-tied when it comes to the topic of sex. ‘People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex,’ says relationship and family therapist Rachel Sussman. “They’re afraid of hurting their partner’s feelings, so they don’t tell them what they like or don’t like. But you’re not going to get it unless you ask for it.”
So how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego? “I think it’s really in how you bring up the statement,” Levkoff says. “’I would love it if we…’ or, ‘Could we try this?’ You don’t want to make them feel bad about what they’ve done or haven’t done.
Avoid monolithic style
Like someone puts it, “From fun, sizzling sex positions to new bedroom “techniques”, you’ll find everything you need to blow her mind—and have her moaning.
Many couples don’t try new sex skills all the time. Therefore, they stay too long on few sex techniques they have acquired over time. That’s why a biological anthropologist, Helen Fisher, who has been studying relationship biology for more than two decades says “So if you keep doing things that are new and different, you have a better chance of sustaining the romance,” You bring adventure into play with respect to your sex life. Do what your partner wants in bed, and let your partner also be willing to do anything for you, too.
Engage yourselves in physical exercises
Exercise works wonders not only on your body, but also on your sex life. “Activities, such as jogging and spinning, release endorphins that improve your mood and relax you,” says American Council on Exercise spokesman Gregory Florez. “In the hours following 30 to 40 minutes of cardio, skin temperature is elevated and your sense of touch is heightened. It’s a great time for intimacy.” You may not even need to shower first. “Sweat is an aphrodisiac,” says Florez, who is also the CEO of FitAdvisor.com. “The smell of perspiration from a clean person is arousing.
Postexercise, your brain is in a state of hyperarousal, and your body may be as well.”
I cannot agree less with him because I do try out a few exercises before sex, and I have found out the benefit of such.
This piece continues next week, my advice is that you don’t miss it. In response to my readers’ request, I have packaged some of my previous articles into a book with the title:
ENJOYING GREAT SEXLIFE. You can call me on 08112658560 for the book.
and then