I don’t trust him, but …

Dear Yemisi,

I am a girl of 20 years, though still a virgin. I am in love with a guy who is 23 years and we started dating about two months ago.

He is in 200level while I am still seeking admission. He claims to love me, but I don’t trust him. I am so worried that I decided to let him go by telling him that I don’t love him and that I have been deceiving him since the first day.  My telling him my feeling angered him that he stopped calling me.

Now, I am having sleepless nights because I am in love with him as I want him back.

Please, what can I do?

Iwami, 0814******2.

Dear Iwami,

You are the architect of what you are going through now. If you ask me, you told the guy the piece of your mind at the moment you did untimely.

You met a guy just barely two months and you have concluded that he is not to be trusted, hence your having to tell him to find his way. Are you fully armed with proofs to show that he is not to be trusted?

Your hasty decision calls for a thorough investigation. To start with, you have allowed your immediate feeling to affect your sense of thought or better put, that you have developed the sense of insecurity too early just because the guy is an undergraduate while you are still an applicant.

You are to really examine yourself to stop reacting to issues on mere suspicion. You cannot begin to doubt somebody you have not really interacted with for about six months and just come with a reason for insincerity.

Though I can sense why you are feeling unsafe is because he is on campus where there are choices from which he can pick. You might be wrong in your assumption.

Now that you are no longer comfortable with your decision, all you can do is to find means of reaching him to apologise for what you did. Put yourself in his shoes were it to be that the issue was the other way round.

How will I continue to dissipate energy and waste money on a venture that is not likely to be profitable? Have you ever called him afterwards? From your letter, I could see that he was the one calling. If you want peace, please call him even if the union will not be. It is always better to put records straight.

Your decision to call it quits with him might be for a better future, so don’t be an impostor. If the two of you are destined for each other, the issue would be resolved and if not, life continues.

In the interim, work and study hard to further your education and be who you have been created to be. Having and sustaining a relationship is not a matter of life and death.

Wishing you the very best.