Many times in relationships, there is the need to run the compromise lines in making certain decisions or bending to change. This line of action are difficult but carried out by a few in relationship and it is done mostly by those who are psychologically flexible. This is seen as cowardice by rigid partners. It is identified that psychological flexibility is fundamental to healthy living, romantic and stable relationships. However every man has a different traits and attitude. While some are flexible, others are rigid, but all are open to have a love life not minding their attitudinal problems. Being in a relationship and balancing the wants and needs of a partner along with one’s own interests requires compromise and the ability to adapt, both of which require flexibility. When conflict occurs, the level of flexibility that exists between a couple is tested. The way in which people deal with conflicts—and in particular the level of rigidity or flexibility that they bring to them—shapes their relationships and to a great degree determines the level of vitality therein. Hence, how do you cope with a rigid partner?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation said on the issue:
You don’t cope, you leave. Nowadays we should really not stay with people who do not wish to adjust to circumstances as it would be detrimental in the long run. No matter how much we try, love in this era cannot conquer, so it is better to surround yourself with positive energy always.
Hmmm! On the other side of the coin, there are some people that you can’t do away with, you just have to cope no matter how little you can.
Wisdom is profitable to direct, relationship is not a do or die affair. If their excesses are compatible with yours, move on before you find yourself at the verge of managing the relationship and hurting yourself. It’s either you put in effort to make them flexible or just move on to another one if you can’t control his/her excesses.
Anyways there’s a whole lot of reasons why one can be rigid. They are; upbringing, bad experiences, religion and so on. Upbringing plays a big role and somehow it controls how we react because being trained in a very strict and rigid environment can make one turn rigid.
Bad experience – a painful experience or a very bad one can deal a disastrous blow to some people and not everyone knows how to handle disaster.
For example , a lady that was raped and her heart broken by a guy, can have serious trust issues and it can make her rigid. Religion is one of the biggest problems in this side of the world, where so many people have become so spiritual and religious and they see freeing themselves and becoming open minded to try out new things as a sin and thereby it makes them frigid and rigid.
It’s not easy but all it takes understanding and effective communication and most importantly, patience to get over it.
Coping with a rigid partner requires patience and counselling. He/ she could later turn to be a counsellor that will further be useful to the society. Surprises, gifts and so on will do the trick. Watching related films showing negative effects of rigidity together is a procedure to de-mystifying a rigid partner.
It’s not too difficult to cope with a rigid partner. First of all, you need to be very patient in dealing with a rigid partner. You must be ready to overlook so many things in order to avoid clashes. Furthermore, you need to show some understanding and maturity in dealing with a rigid partner in order to avoid constant conflicts. Let me briefly share an encounter with a rigid partner recently.
There was this friend of mine who takes only bread and tea for breakfast. He paid me a weekend visit and I did not have beverages at home. I persuaded him gently to manage bread and butter. After pleading and explaining that it was too early to get some beverages around my place, he managed the available bread and butter. I was very soft and emotional when I was trying to persuade him.
Finally, we just need to come to the level of a rigid partner in order to live harmoniously.
Adeyem Oluwaseyi Dosumu
To be realistic, rigid partners are dangerous to handle. Most times you have to leave them to go and probably come around when they are cool, if you keep knocking, your mental health is at stake. Rigid partners will give you one million and one reasons why they are and might not be ready to reach a compromise. Some people do come around, once they realise how tremendous a vacuum you could create in their lives when you are not there and might end up being the sweetest love you have ever had.
To handle people with rigid behaviour, you need to explain things specifically and clearly to them. Sometimes inflexible thinkers interpret information inaccurately, do not handle ambiguity well, over-generalise or personalise. Proactively clarify information, and check for understanding to prevent this from happening. Stay flexible: The best way to make an inflexible thinker more inflexible is by being inflexible yourself! Rather than argue about their inflexibility, maintain calm, respectful and thoughtful communication. Listen more: Inflexible thinkers often react defensively if they do not feel they are being taken seriously. Take a curious stance and listen authentically.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: How do you cope with unforgiving partner?
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